Blink Back to Let Me Know
by It'sGonnaBeTotallyAwesome
Summary: By the end of the year, Lily Evans would love him back - that's what James Potter told himself every year. And every year, he failed. Up until that fateful seventh year, that is, and everyone wanted to know - how on earth did he succeed? Slightly AU.
1. Introductions and Glares

** When the Day Met the Night**

Eleven year old Lily Evans could be seen through the steam emitting from the the enormous Hogwarts Express, as she tried to sum up the courage to actually get onto the train. It was harder than she'd expected, leaving her parents - and Tuney. She didn't understand why her sister didn't want Lily's help, for her to try and convince Professor Dumbledore to let Tuney go to school with her. But Petunia wouldn't listen, and it was like Lily didn't even have a sister anymore. _Freak_, she'd called her. Lily wasn't a freak. It was just what Petunia wanted her to be.

_At least Mum and Dad are supportive,_ she figured, _Unlike Severus' parents . . . Speaking of, where is he? He was right there a moment ago. . . ._

No, Severus was still no where to be found - in other words, the eleven year old girl was alone. Luckily, Lily was very independent, and she finally took a deep breath and collected herself. There had to be someone on the train willing to help her - an authority figure of some sort? She shrugged - either way, she was going to Hogwarts, what her and Sev had dreamed about for what seemed like forever.

She nodded to herself, grabbed her trunk, and stepped onto the Hogwarts Express. The corridors were tumultuous, with kids yelling and running and throwing things all over the place and over other kids. Lily stumbled to the side as a group of giggling girls ran past her and she peered over the others heads to see where they were coming from. A certain pair of boys that caught her eye, and she found a frown forming on her face as she studied them closer. They were both black-haired, except the one with glasses had the worst case of bed-head Lily had ever seen. He also had hazel eyes, while the other had gray-ish blue were both equally loud and obnoxious, and Lily decided then and there that she did not like them very much.

They were throwing a wingless snitch back and forth (although, Lily did not know it was a snitch at the time), over the other kids passing through the corridor, laughing when it would try and take flight only for one of them to catch it once again. Lily didn't know why they had to make such a _scene_ about it and tried to make her way through their little game with the least amount of contact with them as possible. Unfortunately, the girl next to Lily had flinched away when the snitch came dangerously close to smacking her in the face, sending her and Lily tumbling to the side. Lily fell on the wooden floor much lighter than she'd been expecting and looked up to find the boy in glasses had semi-cushioned her fall by grabbing her arm. She stared at him.

He grinned. "Hullo there. I'm James Potter. You alright?"

He rumpled his hair. She glared, ripping her arm from his grasp and getting up herself.

"I'm fine, no thanks to you," she snapped, turning to the girl who'd fallen next to her. "Are you alright?"

Lily reached down and helped the blonde girl up, who dusted off her clothes with a scowl on her face.

"Yeah, thanks," she sighed, then turned to the two boys with her hands on her hips. "Potter, Black, why don't you go play your little game somewhere else, where it doesn't inflict _pain_ on everyone in the middle!"

The two boys glanced at each other, most obviously trying not to burst out laughing, and nodded.

"Sure thing, Meadowes." the other boy, Black, said, smirking.

"Anything you say, Dorcas." James grinned, saluting her.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Get out of here, James."

The two of them sauntered off to their compartment, but not without James glancing one last time at Lily. She rolled her eyes and turned away, picking up her trunk again.

"Who were those guys, anyway?" Lily asked the blonde distractedly, still angry.

"James Potter and Sirius Black," she sighed, shaking her head. "I've known James Potter since we were toddlers, and he's been causing trouble ever since. Our parents are friends, and I've spent so much time with him, he's almost like a brother I wish I never had," she chuckled, and they took that moment of peace to scooch into a compartment, out of the hustle and bustle of others trying to get to where they needed to be.

As they put their bags up, Dorcas continued, "I don't know much about Sirius Black, though - just that he's from the troublesome Black family. They've all been involved in bad news at Hogwarts - except Andromeda Black, I heard she was alright back in the day. She married Ted Tonks a while back, a Muggle-born. . . . Anyway, Sirius has this other cousin in Slytherin, Bellatrix Black, who's a year above us, and she's absolutely barking. Psychotic, even. But if James is hanging out with him, he can't be that bad. Potter may be a completely daft toerag, but if anything he has a good heart."

Lily found out quickly that Dorcas talked a lot. But if was good - Lily needed to be briefed on everything and everyone at Hogwarts. She realized how little she really knew - only a one-sided explanation from Severus (who was still nowhere to be found).

"Oh, I'm Dorcas Meadowes, by the way." the blonde added, smiling.

"Lily Evans." Lily replied, smiling back. Then, they heard an alarming _BANG_, sounding suspiciously like it came from the compartment the Potter and Black went into.

Lily's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Are they really as bad as they seem?"

Dircas shrugged. "Like I said, James has a good heart. And they're funny, I'll give them that - funny, but immature. They're just . . . they're just boys is all."

"Oh." Lily mumbled, not convinced. She had a feeling that her discontent for the two, especially James Potter, would only grow.

**XXX**

The train was about ten minutes from departing and the two girls were having a lovely conversation - they were quickly becoming good friends. Lily had admitted to Dorcas she was Muggle-born and luckily the girl seemed to have no problem. Although Severus had told her it wasn't a big deal, she'd seen he was lying to make her feel better, and the fact that Dorcas didn't mind meant a lot to Lily. They were laughing about a joke Dorcas cracked when they heard more commotion outside.

"Oh, now what?" Lily grumbled.

"My money's on the Dynamic Duo." Dorcas muttered.

They were just about to continue their conversation when someone bolted into their compartment: a tall girl with long blonde hair slid the compartment door closed, clutching her suitcase. She turned to them, looking frazzled.

"Oh, hullo. I'm sorry, some boys just set off a dungbomb out there, is it alright if I sit with you?"

The girls nodded eagerly, and as the girl put her trunk away, they shared introductions. The girl was named Mary MacDonald, and she was a first year, like them.

"And did those pranksters happen to be black-haired and in our year?" Dorcas asked knowingly.

"Well, yes, two of them were," Mary replied as she sat down, "but there were two more. One was sort of skinny and pale and the other had these huge, watery eyes - kind of like a rat."

Lily and Dorcas shrugged and Mary stretched as she asked, "So what house do you two want to be in? I wouldn't mind Ravenclaw myself. But I suppose anything but Slytherin would be okay," she admitted, making a face. "Those people just creep me out."

"Well, I heard - " Lily started, but was cut off when their compartment door opened once again.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but it's not funny, you dungbrains! It's immature, and all four of you are _mental_!"

With that, the short, black-haired girl who was yelling slammed the door shut and turned to them.

"Can you believe those four? Merlin, it's going to be worse than Azkaban putting up with _them_ for seven years," she scoffed, putting her trunk in the above compartment. She paused and looked down at the three girls, who looked rather startled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Alice, Alice Prewett. May I stay with you?"

"Yes, go ahead." Mary allowed, shrugging.

They all exchanged introductions again and Lily was glad their compartment was full now. She was also glad that her and the other three girls semed to get along smashingly, and they were soon laughing at the way Alice screamed at the four boys that they all seemed to share a particular annoyance toward - some more than others.

**XXX**

"Prewett's the one who's mental," Sirius muttered, and looked to his new friend, James Potter. "Did you see the way she blew up at us? Like it was the end of the bloody world! It was only a dungbomb for Merlin's sake."

"I thought it was pretty impressive, the way she stood up to us." James mused as they made their way back to their compartment.

"Yeah, well, she does have two older brothers backing her up, too," Remus noted, "You know Gideon and Fabian Prewett? They just started being Auror's, and I've heard they're some of the best. Wouldn't want to mess with them."

James and Sirius shrugged and they closed the compartment door, plopped down in their seats and dug through the stash of candy. Remsu Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were the newest additions to the pranksters, and although Remus was a tad too disapproving and Peter a tad too nervous, the four seemed to take an immediate liking to each other, joking around like they'd known each other for years.

"You know, every single one of those girls in that compartment seem to hate us." Sirius pointed out as she munched on a chocolate frog.

"You two, not us." Remus said, grinning. Peter snickered.

"At least I don't really care," Sirius reasoned, then chuckled, "But Jamesy wouldn't stop making moony-eyes at that red head."

James scowled. "Was not! And I saw how you were looking at Dorcas. You think she's pretty, don't you?"

"Well, 'course I do," Sirius replied, "Doesn't mean I'm gonna go lookin' at her like you looked at that girl, though."

"It's alright, James," Peter assured him, "I've seen who you're talking about - she _is_ pretty."

James nodded uncertainly, an unecessary feeling of jealousy rising in him.

"Good grief, I think he's jealous." Remus chuckled.

James rolled his eyes as his friends laughed, looking out the window. "Am not."

But he knew from the moment he saw the pretty red head that he liked her - a lot. And even though James knew he knew little about love, he thought he loved her, for whatever reason. And he had to get Dorcas to introduce them.

By the end of the year, Lily Evans would love him back.


	2. The Wizarding World Scoop

**To Have a Home**

Lily had caught up with Severus right after Professor McGonagall told them to get in line for the Sorting. He was with a group of some scary-looking kids, in Lily's opinion, and they all looked down on her when she approached him.

"Hey, Sev, I couldn't find you." she said breathlessly from running to him.

"Yeah, sorry, I just caught up with my new friends over here." he said, glancing back at them. They sneered at her.

"Why are they looking at me like that?" she murmured warily.

Sev shielded her and glared back at them. "It's nothing. We're just anxious about the Sorting."

"Do you still want to be in Slytherin?" she asked him as they trailed into the Great Hall, "Because I heard some things about it that weren't all that great - "

"Lily!"

Lily looked around and saw Dorcas calling her name. She was waving her over to where her, Alice and Mary were standing - she was also studying Severus with a slight grimace. Lily glanced back at Sev and shrugged apologetically.

"See you around." she said, and gave him a quick hug before hurrying off to where her friends were standing.

"Abbot, Geoffrey!"

Severus turned back to where his friends were standing - Rosier, Avery, Mulciber and Wilkes. They all smirked at him and he stared back coldly.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Just because she's a Muggle-born - "

"A Mudblood." Mulciber corrected with a sneer.

"Allen, Alby!"

Snape locked his jaw and continued, "It doesn't mean that she's not just as powerful as we are."

"RAVENCLAW!"

Avery leaned forward. "Try saying that to the Dark Lord."

All the Wizarding World had heard of him vaguely, but only some were aware of his true power. These four boys were some of them. Snape hadn't actually met the Dark Lord yet, but he heard that Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange had. Snape knew that the Dark Lord's power was only going to rise and anyone who thought it wouldn't was a fool.

Severus was smart beyond his years. And with that knowledge, he deduced that the Dark Lord was the winning side in a war that was surely upon them. Though Snape knew he was not as devoted as some of his peers were surely to be, he knew which side he was on. And it was the winning side - it was the only logical way to survive.

**XXX**

Lily had gotten sorted into Gryffindor, and she knew Severus wasn't happy about it, but she was. All three of her new friends were in Gryffindor, and the only bad thing was that those four ruddy boys were in their house, too (and of course that Severus had gotten into Slytherin. She didn't know how she felt about those people he was hanging around with. . . .). Sirius Black had scooted over for her, but she'd turned her back to him immediately. Lily was laughing with Mary when she caught someone staring at her. When she looked up, thankfully, it wasn't Potter, but it was Simon Smiley, if she recalled correctly, and he'd been sorted into Hufflepuff. She'd had to supress a giggle at his name. When he caught her eye, he winked and Lily blinked in surprise. He must've been pleased with her reaction because he smirked and turned back to his friends.

Lily grimaced and turned back to Mary. "Why are all these boys so annoying?"

Mark laughed. "My mum says that's life's golden question."

They both laughed and then Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster, stood to make his speech. Lily was immediately impressed by him - he had the authoritative air to him, but his eyes were twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles, like he remembered what it was like to be a kid, too.

"Hello and welcome!" he said, "A new year at Hogwarts has finally begun. Before we gratefully stuff ourselves, I have a few words of wisdom: never tickle a sleeping dragon. That is all. Thank you!"

Lily stared, and then she laughed along with all the other students. Then, the food appeared on the table and all of them started to eat like there was no tomorrow. Lily's eyes caught James and his friends eating like madmen, seeming to eat and pile more food onto their plate at the same time. It was rather sickening, so Lily looked away.

After they had their fantastic meal, it was time to go to their common rooms. As they stood from the tables and started the slow exit from the Great Hall, Dorcas came up beside her.

"Hey, who was that guy you were talking to before the Sorting?" she asked quietly.

Lily glanced at her and frowned at her serious expression. "My friend, Severus Snape. We've been friends since . . . well, before Hogarts. Why?"

"It's just he was hanging around some sketchy people," she said, and both their eyes fell on the five Slytherin boys. "That's Mulciber, Avery, Rosier and Wilkes. They're all equally nasty."

Lily looked back at her. "How do you know all this?"

Dorcas shrugged. "My parents work for the Ministry and they have loads of connections. They're Aurors."

"What's an Auror?" Lily asked as they finally made it out of the Great Hall.

"They're the law enforcement, I suppose - they catch Dark Wizards and such. You know that one wizard who's causing a lot of trouble these days? Volde-something, I forget his name. But that's what they're working on now. He's killing a bunch of Muggles and stuff. It's actually quite horrendous."

A bolt of worry went through Lily. Killing Muggles?

"Do you think my parents will be okay?" she asked meekly.

Dorcas looked at her, seeming caught off-guard. She gave her a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, Lily. I think they'll be okay. The Auror's will catch that nutter in no time, don't you worry."

The prefect led them to the portrait of the Fat Lady, as Lily heard it was called, (which _moved_, mind you, along with all the other portraits. Dorcas and the other two girls had to drag Lily along to keep her from stopping and staring), and they stopped before it.

"Password?" she asked stoically and Lily stared in astonishment. A portrait was talking. _A_ _portrait was talking._

"Pheonix feathers." the male prefect - Ferdinand or something - said importantly.

The portrait swung open and they all stepped through to the cozy Gryffindor common room. A female prefect stepped forward and started to lead the girls up one of the staircases to the girls dormitories.

"Hey, Meadowes!"

The four of them looked back and saw Sirius Black - and the other three trouble-makers - standing there, grinning.

"Meet me outside after curfew for a snog, eh?"

Dorcas gaped at him and was about to tell him off when the female prefect intervened. "Hey - Black, aren't you? Go up to your dormitory and shut it. You aren't going to get any girls that way."

Sirius smirked back to his friends and they went up to the boys dormitories as they were told. James attempted a wave at Lily but Sirius had rolled his eyes and pulled him upstairs out of view before she could see. The female prefect rolled her eyes and started leading the girls up the staircase again.

"My name's Marlene McKinnon, by the way. If you ever need help with _them_, you can get me," she offered, then added with a chuckle, "But you looked like you were pretty fine on your own."

The other four girls laughed with her and they finally made it to their dorms. Lily, Mary, Alice and Dorcas picked one together, and they immediately plopped onto their beds, exhausted.

"I'm so tired, I can't even open my eyes again." Alice murmured, already dozing off.

"I'm not . . . that tired." Dorcas yawned, dozing off as well.

"Shut . . . it." Mary mumbled, already asleep.

Well, Lily for one couldn't sleep. She was finally at Hogwarts, what she'd been dreaming about nonstop, and, with or without Petunia, she was going to make the best of it. She finally felt like she was somewhere she could be herself and not worry about not being able to use her magic or hold back.

She'd found her second home.

**XXX**

James promised himself ever year that Lily Evans would love him by the end. And, of course, every year, he failed.

It was a fact widely known around Hogwarts that Lily Evans hated James Potter, and that the only thing he felt in turn was adoration. It was, of course, not the only widely known fact, but one of the many that the rest of the Hogwarts student body witnessed almost everyday.

It was obvious, practically from the first day James saw Lily, that he was in love. Or, as much as an eleven year old can be in love. It was also obvious that from the moment Lily saw James' arrogant smirk and the moronic way he ruffled his hair, that she quite frankly loathed him. It had always been a rather odd predicament - a rather tough predicament, for both parties (including each of their friends).

For example:

"Lily, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"No, Potter."

"Please?"

"Go away."

"Why not? It'll be fun."

"I would rather go for a swim with the Giant Squid, endure Peeves' obnoxious chanting, and have to stay awake through one of Professor Binn's lectures, than have to go through a day listening to you talk about yourself and _mess with that bloody hair_!"

". . . So you'll think about it?"

Yes, it had always been like that - James asking Lily out, and Lily rejecting him.

That is, until that one day in fifth year.

It got even worse.

It was a couple days after OWLs, when the Hogwarts students were about to get their break for summer. The Evans Episode, as the Marauder's dubbed it.

Perhaps the only thing James, Lily and Snape mutually thought in that moment was this:

There couldn't have been a worse way to end the year.

Though it was painful, for all three, The Evans Episode was a significant moment for each of their relationships with each other.

For Lily and Severus, it was the end of their long, complicated friendship. It was very difficult for Lily to go through, especially when summer came and she had to endure her sister's pestering for four weeks, before her parents took pity of her and allowed her to visit her friend Dorcas for the rest of the break. It was perhaps even more difficult for Severus, though, who now had no one to turn to when he couldn't bear the sound of his parents screaming anymore or when he just needed a friend - and Lily was his only true friend. And he lost her, because of one word.

If he could take back anything in his life. . . .

For James and Snape, their relationship worsened more than ever before (up until that point), and that was all there was to it. In Snape's eyes, James was to blame for the end of him and Lily's relationship (which he had desperately hoped would evolve to something more), and for that he would never forgive him. Nor would James ever forgive Snape for calling Lily a Mudblood. It was so inconceivable to James, that someone would betray their friend like that, only because their pride was wounded. James was even more tense with Snape for what he called Lily, and, if school had not ended only a week after, there most likely would've been a long string of pranks pulled upon poor Severus. Of course, James had somewhat provoked The Evans Episode, but, how James saw it, he had finally shown Lily Snape's true colors, and for that she should be grateful to him. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

And for Lily and James, it was even more troubled than before. Lily was furious at James for doing such a thing, and, when she screamed at James that one night before school ended, he seemed to have finally gotten the picture that maybe he wasn't right in what he did, and that maybe him and Lily wouldn't be together after all. . . .

Lily walked hurriedly towards the Gryffindor common room - there as only five minutes to curfew, and she'd lost track in the library, where she'd been studying like a mad woman for her Herbology, which she'd forgotten she'd had an exam in the next day. Who had an exam _after _OWLs and during the _week_ before school ended? Well, apparently there was 'still much about Herbology to learn', but Lily (until she was forced to next year) couldn't really care less about plants. She also had to do rounds that night, as she was a prefect, and, to top it all off, she was almost positive she wouldn't get any sleep that night.

Lily Evans was not in the best of moods.

She rounded a corner and slammed into someone unexpectedly, her books falling to the ground. She opened her mouth to apologize as she bent down to get them, but then -

"Evans! I've been looking all over for you!"

Lily froze and looked up into the eager face of James Potter and she felt her face become cold.

"Leave me alone, Potter." she said as she gathered up her books stiffly.

"Listen, I just wanted to explain why - "

"I don't want to talk about it." she insisted as she started walking.

"But I just - "

"Leave it, Potter!" she hissed as she tried to keep composure. He trailed after her.

"_Please, _Evans, just let me - "

"For Merlin's sake, do I really have to spell this out for you?" Lily exclaimed, unable to take it anymore. She stopped and whirled on him, her eyes ablaze. "My friendship with Severus, no matter how unstable it was, is _ruined_ because of what you did, and even though he called me what he did, none of it _ever_ would have happened if you weren't there to start it! Don't you understand? _I blame you_!"

Lily hadn't meant to be so harsh. She was just angry and frustrated with the whole situation, with Severus, with Potter. She just couldn't take it anymore. And she was _already _having a terrible night for God's sake.

James stared, at a loss for a moment. "Lily . . . I am so - "

"Forget it," she murmured, her voice hoarse now. "I have rounds and I'm already late. Have a nice summer, Potter."

**XXX**

Lily sat in the Great Hall the next morning, trying not to fall asleep in her oatmeal. Mary patted her shoulder worriedly.

"Lily, are you still awake? You're eyes have been closed for a solid five minutes now."

Lily took a deep breath and looked at her three best friends concerned faces. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine, guys. I just had a rough night."

"Oh, were you studying for that Herbology exam?" Alice groaned, "I'm sorry I told you last minute, I thought you knew."

Lily stared at her oatmeal and spun her spoon in it. "Yeah, that."

To her utter disappointment, Lily felt more guilty than she was bargaining for with the whole James thing. She _had_ been harsh, but hadn't she been just as curt in the past? No, it wasn't the same, and Lily knew it. But she couldn't afford to get all sentimental with Potter now - it'd throw away five good years of dedicated loathing. Besides, she still thought he was an arrogant toerag. But maybe she _should_ apologize. . . .

She'd told the girls about their run-in earlier that morning, and, of course, they all were suspicious that a certain boy with the worst case of bed-head had to do with why Lily was so upset.

"Lily. You just fell asleep in your oatmeal."

Lily snapped her head up and found she had oatmeal on her cheek now. She hastily grabbed a napkin and wiped it off, starting to chuckle despite herself. Her friends started laughing along with her, but still looked worried.

"Look, you go back and get some sleep, I'll explain to the Professors." Dorcas insisted.

"But - "

"Do it, Lily. Give yourself a break," she demanded, "Besides, it gives you more time to study for that exam."

She couldn't argue with that. So Lily gathered her things, thanked her friends, and started walking out of the Great Hall. But she couldn't help but notice James Potter staring at her from his place further down the table.

She met his gaze and contemplated whether to give him a nod - but decided against it, and looked away, walking out of the Great Hall.

**XXX**

"I'm really sorry, mate." Sirius said after the Marauders had heard the explanation of why James was so horrifically down. He was still shaken by that night before when Lily went off on him - he'd never seen her so angry. And to think he caused it. . . .

James never realized how much he truely cared for Lily until that moment. He'd hurt her, and he had to make it up to her. He had to make it better, or he would never forgive himself.

"James? Hello, you still with us?"

James looked up and saw Sirius waving a hand in his face. "Get a hold of yourself, mate. It's time for class."

He nodded and they all stood to walk to Transfiguration. James stared out the windows as they passed them and tuned out his friends joking. He couldn't get Lily off his mind, and he was afraid he would never be able to unless he apologized.

"James, for Merlin's sake, stop being such a Debbie Downer!"

"I'm not being a Debbie Downer!" James frowned, looking to his exasperated friends.

"Prongs, if you really want to make things right, go apologize." Remus said.

"I tried, Remus." James sighed, "And then she nearly bit my head off."

"You're just going to have to wait until she cools down," he reasoned, "but until then, you can't keep letting it eat you. It's not healthy."

"And Happy James is a lot more fun than Sad James." Peter added.

"Hear, hear!" Sirius agreed.

"And I'll help you, once we get back to school," Remus offered, "Lily and I are pretty good friends and I'm sure I could convince her to hear you out."

James wrinkled his nose. "But I'll have to wait all summer."

"You have to make some sacrifices, my friend." Sirius said, clapping him on the back.

James sighed. "Alright. Thanks, Moony."

And James promised himself he wouldn't make his friends have to cheer him up every five seconds anymore. He'd be Happy James until he could apologize next year.

Then, maybe . . . Lily Evans would love him.

No, probably not. But maybe Lily Evans would forgive him.


	3. Introducing Cupids Minions and Vern

**Cupid**

Dorcas had always been torn between James and Lily. James being like her brother and Lily being her best friend - but she'd always managed to have time for both. She never got in the way of their relationship, though, for a couple reasons. 1. frankly, it was none of her business, 2. it was sort of amusing, the way they constantly bantered, and 3. it was way too complicated anyway.

But Dorcas for one thought it was sort of getting out of hand. James had liked Lily for _five years_ for Merlin's sake.

That was just sad.

And Dorcas knew the two of the would be perfectly compatible if only Lily would give him a chance. So Dorcas decided it was time to play Cupid. She just had to mature James up a little, and get Lily to loosen up a little. The annoying part was that she couldn't do it by herself - she had to have help (_dedicated_ help, because it was probably going to take a long and treacherous time) from the other side, too. In other words, one of the Marauders. She immediately ruled out Peter - he was too daft to help, to be frank, and she ruled out Sirius as well, just because the prick hit on her twenty-four/seven (along with almost every other girl in the school). So that left Remus, which was perfectly fine with Dorcas. She liked Remus, and she was pretty sure he would help.

So when the girls found their compartment on the Hogwarts Express going back home for summer, Dorcas excused herself nonchalantly to begin her plan. She knew Remus, as a prefect, had to patrol the corridors first - information she'd gathered from a special source . . . okay, information from Lily - so she looked around for him, and it didn't take long. He had his hands in his pockets and was whistling softly as he walked along with that sullen Gertrude Parkinson. How she ever managed to become a prefect was beyond Dorcas.

Remus seemed surprised to see her and he nodded to her. "Dorcas," he greeted her, "What's going on?"

"I need to ask a favor." she said nervously. What if Remus wouldn't help?

"We need to finish our patrol, Meadowes." Parkinson droned.

Dorcas glared at her. "Fine. When's your patrol over?" she asked Remus.

"Nine." he replied, looking at her warily.

"Brilliant. Meet me in the empty compartment down the corridor at nine. It's kind of important."

Remus frowned. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'll explain later."

"Alright." he said uncertainly, and him and Parkinson walked off again.

Dorcas sighed. She had a feeling she was in way over her head here.

**XXX**

At the end of his patrol, Remus walked quickly toward the compartment at the end of the corridor, extremely curious at this point. Dorcas seemed a bit anxious. He was halfway there when he ran into Sirius who'd been buying candy from the candy lady. Padfoot grinned and clamped him on the back.

"Hey, Remus, your patrol's over now, right?" he asked and didn't wait for a reply, dragging him down the corridor. "So James and I have this brilliant idea for the beginning of the year prank next year - a _stupendous_ idea, even, and - "

"Hey, Sirius, I actually have to do one more thing before I go back." Remus interrupted him before he took him all the way to the other side of the bloody train.

Sirius stopped and frowned. "More prefect stuff?" he guessed.

"Well, er, not exactly." he said uneasily.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and waited. But Remus didn't know if Dorcas would want him to tell Sirius - Sirius annoyed the living daylights out of her.

"I'm sort of supposed to meet Dorcas right now." he admitted.

Sirius seemed shocked. "You and Dorcas? Alone?"

Remus nodded, not seeming to understand what Sirius was insinuating.

Sirius gaped at him. "But - you - I - _you and Dorcas_?" he repeated.

Remus frowned. "What's the big deal? She just wants to talk."

"Oh, yeah, talk I bet," Sirius scoffed, seeming a bit too indifferent. "'Talk'. Right. Snog, is what you mean. Moony, you know that I - "

He cut off abruptly and Remus felt a smirk creep onto his face. "You what, Sirius?"

He cleared his throat. "Nothing, nothing. Not important."

Remus chuckled. "You know what? You can come, if you want, just to make sure Dorcas and I don't 'snog'."

Sirius brushed off his clothes nonchalantly. "Well, if you insist."

Remus snorted and the two made their way down the corridor again. Moony eyed Sirius amusedly, knowingly fully well what his friend was going to say before he cut off. Sirius had cared for Dorcas almost as long as James fancied Lily - Sirius just covered it up rather than blatantly letting the whole school know his feelings. Sirius had adopted the reputation of 'man whore' quite willingly, and Remus knew why. Obviously, to cover up his feelings for Dorcas.

Remus slid open the compartment door and found Dorcas already standing there, looking out the window. She turned upon the sound and she made an expaserted sound when she saw Sirius.

"Aw, Remus, _really_?" she exclaimed as he closed the door.

He shrugged. "He caught me coming down here. And unless this is about him, I don't see why he can't be here." he pointed out.

"Well, it's not, but - " she cut off and sighed, looking to Sirius' smirking face. "Fine. But don't go blabbing to James about this, got it?"

"Why are you directing that to me?" Sirius scoffed, plopping down on the bench.

"Because I trust Remus with this, and not _you_." she said.

"Well, what is it then?" Sirius said mockingly.

Dorcas took a deep breath and looked between the two of them. "I have a plan. It might be a little far-fetched, and I don't really know _how_ to do it yet - that's where you two come in - but . . . "

"Yes?" Remus prompted.

"I want to get Lily and James together."

There was a moment of silence.

Sirius looked to Remus. "Did she just say what I think she said?"

"I think she did." he said, nodding.

"_What_?" Dorcas exclaimed defensively.

Sirius looked to her exasperatedly. "Meadowes, do you have any idea how long we've been trying to do that? It's useless, Evans would never give him a chance. What's with the sudden change of heart anyway?"

"I've always thought those two were right for each other, but I never got involved, because it was none of my business," she said pointedly, "but I think it's gotten a bit out of hand here, with what happened with Snape and all."

"The Evans Episode." the two boys chorused absentmindedly.

She gave them a look. "You _named_ it?"

They shrugged.

She sighed. "Look, if we want them to be happy, I think this is what's best. But I can't do it alone. I need you guys to help me."

"Well, we've pretty much tried everything. We even tried locking them in a room together last year," Sirius scoffed, then made a face. "That didn't end well."

"That's why we're going to do this a little more subtly than that," Dorcas said, rolling her eyes, "and I think we should just play it by ear, take every chance we have to get them alone together. She'll have to see James is a decent bloke eventually, right?"

"Well, she hasn't for five bloody years." Sirius muttered, shifting in his seat.

"Shut it, Padfoot," Remus said distractedly, and then to Dorcas, "So, what are you planning to do first?"

"Well, Lily doesn't really get on too well with her sister and she usually jumps at the chance to stay with me over the summer. I could invite her over and then pretend my parents are bringing us along for a visit to the Potters."

Sirius frowned appreciatively. "Not bad."

She shrugged. "It's a start. But you two have to help. Tell James not to act like such an arrogant, obnoxious bastard."

They paused.

"Well, that's sort of how he is - "

"There's nothing we can really do about that - "

"Just try!" she snapped, "I have to go now, or the others will get worried. And don't tell James!"

"Wait, do the other girls know?" Remus asked before Dorcas could leave.

She rolled her eyes. "You kidding? Those two couldn't keep it from Lily to save their lives. They both get too overly excited about romance and all that."

With that, Dorcas left, leaving the two boys alone. Sirius grinned and rested his hands behind his head.

"What Meadowes doesn't know is that I'll probably be at Prongs' house, too." he noted smugly.

Remus chuckled. "Well, now you'll make _sure_ to be there, won't you?"

But Sirius didn't seem to be listening anymore - he gazed out the window and dropped his hands into his lap, quiet for a moment.

"Yeah, I was thinking of making a change anyway."

Remus furrowed his brow, but decided to leave it, stepping out of the compartment and letting Sirius alone with his thoughts.

**XXX**

Lily tried not be down as she chatted with her friends on the way back home, but there were too many things bugging her. One of them was James, to her annoyance. Another was Severus, and another was having to go back home and deal with her sister for three months. Lily dreaded the thought and had to suppress a groan. Petunia's nagging really got old, and no matter how much Lily tried to stay out of a fight, it always seemed to turn into a screaming match.

"Lily? You alright?"

Lily looked up to see Alice and Mary gazing at her worriedly.

"You've been awfully quiet the whole ride." Mary noted, and right then Dorcas returned from wherever she'd been, sitting down opposite of Lily.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind," Lily replied with a sigh, "I'm not exactly looking forward to putting up with Pertunia this summer."

The three girls looked at each other and Dorcas finally said, "Lily . . . why don't you come stay with me this summer?"

Lily met Dorcas' gaze and she immediately noticed that her best friend had some ulterior motive. She always had this certain glint in her eye when she did - but Lily figured it was just some new adventure she'd drag Lily on, and so she contemplated the offer.

"Well, I think I should spend the first month with my parents," Lily finally replied, "but I would love to for the last two months, if that's alright with you."

Dorcas grinned. "That's perfect."

Lily cheered a bit after that, and the rest of the ride was spend laughing and gossiping about certain nothings - Lily found herself slowly healing from what had happened only a week and a half before. But she still felt her relationship with Severus was unresolved, and she dreaded the day that they'd have to confront each other.

**XXX**

"A boyfriend?" Lily repeated, making a face. "Who would want to be in a relationship with Petunia?"

"Lily." her mother scolded from the front seat of the car.

"Sorry." she muttered.

"Trust me, when you meet Vernon, Petunia will seem like a fluffy kitten full of sunshine." Dad said with a snort and Mum smacked his arm.

"Zachary!"

"You know it's true, Marie. The boy's a nightmare!"

"Is he really that bad?" Lily said in surprise. She'd never heard her Dad talk so badly about someone.

Mum pursed her lips. "Well, he is rather . . . opinionated."

"That doesn't sound good," Lily muttered, "Well, have you told Petunia what you think?"

"Of course not," Dad said as they pulled into their driveway. "Tuney's madly in love with the bloke and she'd slap anyone who would try to talk her out of it."

"Can't wait to meet him." Lily said sarcastically, sighing and stepping out of the car, trunk in hand.

She looked up at her white boarded house with the familiar sunflowers blooming in the front. She smiled softly and followed her Mum and Dad up the steps to the front door.

"Vernon's here now," Dad muttered to her as he fiddled with the keys, "So just be prepared."

Now Lily was a bit nervous. "Alright then."

The door opened and Lily stepped inside, her parents following, and she set her trunk on the steps before she started walking towards the kitchen. She heard the TV on in the connected living room and she peered around the corner and saw the back of her sisters head and another unfamiliar head that was twice as big and that had a head of brown hair with way too much gel in it.

Lily didn't know which head of hair annoyed her more - Vernon's or James'. Lily took another looks at the amount of gel in his hair. Yeah, probably Vernon's.

"Petunia?" Mum called, "Your sister's home!"

"Great," Petunia muttered, then leaned over to Vernon. "Don't worry, the school has her under control, she just has random acts of violence some - oh, Lily! How lovely to see you."

Petunia had turned around and noticed Lily standing there a moment too late. Has her under control? Random acts of violence? What on earth did she tell Vernon about her?

Finally, Vernon stood and turned around, giving Lily a full view of him.

It wasn't a pretty sight.

He already had a receeding hairline and his shirt was most obviously too small for his obtuse stomach. He seemed to be permanently pink in the face and had the tiniest beady eyes Lily had ever seen. He looked at her with a condescending smile.

"Hello, Lily. So nice to finally meet you." he said almost mockingly.

"You too, Vernon. I've heard so much about you." she said with a matching smile, in a tone that suggested it was not good at all.

"And I of you." he replied with pursed lips.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"Kids! What do you want for dinner?" Mum called from the kitchen.

"Pizza would be preferable, Marie." Vernon replied, and Lily couldn't believe he talked ot her mother that way.

Then, Lily was struck with an idea. She clenched her fists and did her best to redden her face.

"But I want your lasagna for dinner, Mum." Lily said in a shaky voice.

Petunia looked at her in alarm and Vernon looked rather startled.

"What was that, honey?"

"I said, I want you _lasagna_ for dinner, _not pizza_!" she exclaimed.

"Lily, what is the matter with you?" Petunia said with a grimace, leaning into Vernon.

Vernon patted Petunia's shoulder and pursed his lips at Lily. "It's alright, Petunia, let's just give the troubled girl what she wants. She obviously can't control her problem yet."

Lily smirked. "Thanks, Vern. That's so kind of you."

"Don't call me Vern, please." the pudgy boy said through clenched teeth.

Lily shrugged. "Sorry." she said nonchalantly.

Vernon gave her a sneer before she sauntered off into the kitchen, where she could tell her parents were doing their best not to laugh.

**XXX**

_Dear Lily,_

_ My parents said it was fine for you to come Saturday, like you wanted. We could meet in Diagon Alley and then floo back to my house at noon, if that's good for you. My parents love you, by the way, they can't wait to see you._

_ I just have to say, what you've been doing with Petunia and Vernon is hilarious! You, going to a school to help with anger management? Good grief, that's ridiculous! And the fact that you're calling him Vern and he hates it had me laughing for a solid two minutes, just so you know. It almost sounds like something a Marauder would do . . . not that that's a bad thing._

_ So anyway, I hope you're making the most of humiliating your sister. Write back if our arrangement for Saturday works. See you soon!_

_ Dorcas_

After reading the letter, Lily quickly wrote back her agreement and sent it off with Dorcas' owl, Chubbs (who had gotten his name precisely because he was a bit chubby). Lily thought over Dorcas' letter again, and, though it'd never crossed her mind before, what she was doing to Petunia and Vernon _did_ seem like something a Marauder would do. It almost made her want to stop. . . .

Almost. Not quite.


	4. A New Housemate and Monster Mum Voice

**Aw, Mum**

_BANG!_

Thunder boomed through the Potter household, seeming the shake the enormous house, and James' eyes flew open. He had been having a nightmare and found he was in a cold sweat. He sat up and squeezed his eyes shut. Flashes of a cloaked man, of what he imagined to be Voldemort, still haunted him and he shook his head. He wasn't afraid of him - he couldn't be. He wanted to be an Auror after all. But Voldemort was getting stronger by the day, and he was no longer the miniscule wretch in the Wizarding World. He was a man that haunted everyone's nightmare's, and the reason everyone looked over their shoulder when out at night. His followers grew as well, causing panic among other wizards and witches. Since James' Mum and Dad were Aurors, he was one of the few who truely knew of the horrors of what Voldemort did. His father told him so James wouldn't be blind-sided and ignorant like so many other wizards and witches.

_BANG!_

Thunder boomed again, making James jump, and he shook his head. "Snap out of it." he muttered, sighing.

He finally calmed himself down, and he was just about to lay back down when there was another sound, but it wasn't the thunder this time.

_Boom, boom, boom_

It was the front door. James furrowed his brow. It was one in the morning - who could be here at this hour? He grabbed his wand and made for the staircase, his heart pounding. He quickly padded down the steps, walking slowly to the front door. He peered out the blurred glass windows and saw a figure standing there.

James' hand hovered above the doorknob, and, after a moment of contemplation, swung the grand door open. He immediately trained his wand at the stranger, only to find the figure wasn't a stranger at all. James lowered his wand, squinting to get a better look (he didn't have his glasses on, after all).

"Sirius?" he gasped.

It was, indeed. A soaking wet, panting Sirius who had a trunk in his hand. But, yeah, it was Sirius.

"I'm sorry, James. I just - I need to get out of there. I can't stand it anymore." Sirius rambled, shaking his head.

James stepped aside silently, allowing Sirius to come inside.

"James? Is everything alright?" James' mum came down the steps, tying her bathrobe around herself, James' dad following closely behind. "Sirius? What on earth - "

"Sirius is staying with us, Mum. It's his family." James explained shortly, pulling pleading look when Sirius wasn't looking.

After a moment, Dad nodded. "Of course. Sirius is like a son to us. You can set up your things in the guest room, Sirius."

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Ben, I just - "

"Don't worry about it, son," Dad said, smiling as he clamped Sirius on the back. "We'd be glad to have you."

Mum fretted over Sirius' soaking clothes. "Oh, Sirius, you'll catch a cold!" she exclaimed, and dried his clothes with a flick of her wand.

"Mum, he'll be fine. We should all just go to bed and sort things out in the morning." James said, starting to lead Sirius up the stairs.

"Of course. Get some rest, you two." Mum said, and the two disppeared around the corner and down the corridor of James room and the room Sirius was staying in.

"You alright, mate?" James asked, though he knew Sirius probably didn't want to talk about it.

"Just a nasty fight." Sirius murmured, "but it was the last straw."

James nodded and there was a moment of silence.

"You know," James began, with a new joking air about him, "looking at you without my glasses, you sort of look like a gorilla."

Sirius laughed. "Shut it, you prat. You look weird without your glasses anyway. Put them on, it's like you're not even James. You're like his evil twin brother."

James rolled his eyes and they walked into James' room so he could shove them on.

"So, I got this idea for a prank for next year. . . ."

**XXX**

James and Sirius walked down to the kitchen for breakfast the next morning, looking like zombies. They'd stayed up all night, neither being able to sleep, plotting new pranks, sketching out Quidditch plays, and other such things. James still only had his boxers on, much to Sirius' exasperation, but his parents were used to his usual eccentric tendencies, and they learned to accept them. When they walked into the kitchen, they already smelt the food James' mother was making, and she handed them both plates immediately. They smiled sleepily at her and she chuckled.

"Have a good sleep, you two?" she asked.

They mumbled incoherent replies, stuffing their faces mindlessly. It wasn't much different, having Sirius live with them. James felt no different, at least. Sirius was over at his house most of the summer anyway.

Mum sighed. "Well, I guess I should take this moment to let you know that we're attending a tiny party at the Ministry next week."

The two boys paused and looked up at her. James swallowed his mouthful of food.

"A party?"

"Well fine, it's a grand ball." she admitted.

"During these times?" James asked, shocked.

Mum sighed. "It's the Minster's idea. He wants to keep everyone from panicking, and this is his way of trying. We have to go."

James and Sirius exchanged grimaces. "Sounds like loads of fun."

Mum gave them a look, and then continued, "The Meadowes will be there, too. And they're coming over to stay for a couple days before the ball next week. We haven't seen them in a while."

James was excited to see Dorcas again, but when he looked at Sirius, it seemed like his best friend knew something more that he didn't.

"What?" James asked suspiciously.

Sirius shrugged. "Nothing. Just exicted to see Dorcas."

James smirked and lowered his voice to where his mum couldn't hear, "Oh, yes. We all know how you - "

"Shut it, Prongs," Sirius cut him off, flinging some scrambled egg at him. "You're the lover boy, remember? I'm the man whore."

James just kept his smirk.

**XXX**

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope."

"Dorcas!"

"I didn't know, I'm sorry!"

"You're lying."

Dorcas had just told Lily the news that they were staying with the Potter's for a couple days the next week, and Lily was not taking it as well as Dorcas had hoped. They were in Dorcas' bedroom, and Lily had hopped up from the bed in surprise upon hearing the news.

"Lily, come on, he's not that bad! It's not like it was my idea, my parents and James' parents are friends," Dorcas pleaded, "It's only going to be as dreadful as you make it. It's not as bad as being with Petunia and Vernon, is it?"

Lily sighed and sat back down. "No, of course not. I'm sorry, I'm being ungrateful. I'll go, and I won't complain once."

Dorcas chuckled. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

Lily snorted and chucked a pillow at her - which soon turned into a full-fledged pillow fight. It felt good, like they were eleven years old again, and Merlin knew Lily needed a break from being the responsible one.

The next morning, Lily and Dorcas walked down to find some breakfast groggily. Lily almost tripped over Dorcas going down the stairs, but Dorcas pushed her to the side in retaliation and Lily stumbled on the railing, both of them laughing hoarsely.

"Is everything alright, girls?" Dorcas' mum called form the kitchen.

"Yeah, mum!" Dorcas called, still laughing.

"Alright then." Mrs. Natalie muttered, not convinced.

The two girls finally made their way safely to the kitchen, more awake now, and started to get their own breakfast.

Lily gazed around the kitchen in inconspicuous wonder - no matter how many times she visited Dorcas' house, she never got over how big and exquisite it was. It was amazing. Lily bet her kitchen could fit four times in Dorcas' kitchen. Lily shook her head slightly as she poured her cereal and Dorcas made her bagel.

"Oh, girls, I forgot to tell you," Mrs. Natalie said, and the two looked back at her. "The Ministry is having a ball during the time we're staying at the Potter's next week - " Lily suppressed a groan. " - and we've been invited, being Auror's and all."

"In other words, we're being forced to go?" Dorcas said dryly.

Mrs. Natalie gave her daughter a look. "Yes, Dorcas. And it would be lovely if you could find a _date_ to this paticular event."

Dorcas said her mum was always bugging her about finding a boyfriend. Lily would've killed her mum if she did that - it would drive her crazy, but Dorcas handled it rather well. She rolled her eyes.

"I know you so desperately want James and I to get together, mum, but it's not going to happen," she said, turning back to her bagel. Then she smirked. "Actually, Lily and James sort of have a thing."

Lily gaped at her best friend. "What?" she hissed.

"Oh, really?" Mrs. Natalie said, "Is that so?"

Lily whirled to face Dorcas' mum. "No, no, James and I - " She paused. What would describe her and James. . . . ? "No, we're just - we're just . . . not."

Mrs. Natalie chuckled. "Alright then. So I'll take you girls out shopping later for dresses, alright?"

"Aw, mum - " Dorcas started to whine.

"Don't 'aw, mum' me, Dorcas Meadowes. I swear, you are the only girl who does not like to go dress shopping!" she exclaimed.

Lily chuckled and Dorcas shrugged. "Maybe I'm like one of those people who's a boy stuck in a girl body." she joked nonchalantly.

"Dorcas, that is _not_ funny!"

"I'm _kidding_, mum!"

But they were all laughing, and Mrs. Natalie rolled her eyes. "That would explain your obssession with Quidditch, though."

"I'm definately a girl, mum." Dorcas assured her.

"Okay, well - that's a relief."

They all laughed, and Lily spoke up about something that was bugging her. "Mrs. Natalie, you don't have to pay for me, I can call my mum and - "

"Oh, nonsense, it's a hassle to convert Muggle money into Wizarding money. I'll just pay for it, it's nothing."

Lily looked around the house again. She bet it wasn't.

"Really, I could just call - "

"No, no, I insist. Be ready by noon, girls."

**XXX**

"Aw, mum, can't you just get them for us?" James groaned, slapping his head in his hand.

"Don't 'aw, mum', me James Benjamin. It won't be that bad, you're being overdramatic," Mum said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, we haven't gotten you new dress robes since you were twelve! So if you want to give those a go, be my guest. But otherwise, you're getting new ones. You too, Sirius."

Sirius grimaced. He'd hoped to stay out of this one. James grinned a him.

"Can't we just wear our Hogwarts school robes?" Sirius tried, but Mrs. Susan seemed to have a heartattack at the thought.

"Of course not! Oh, you boys are so difficult! You're coming, whether you like it or not!"

The two best friends looked at each other. She used the Monster Mum Voice.

Yeah. They were going.

**XXX**

"Yes, yes, that's perfect! Finally, we've found one! Look in the mirror, dear."

Lily turned and looked in the mirror. It did look nice on her, and she blushed faintly. It was a green, floor-length dress that had sleeves that fell off her shoulders and little flower detailing. It swayed when she walked toward the mirror and she couldn't have felt more beautiful in it. It was a relief to finally find one - Lily had tried on about a dozen before they'd finally found this one. The Meadowes had a personal designer lady who did all this stuff, and said lady came up to Lily to take in measurements and see where it needed to be fitted more or where it needed to be loosened.

Lily looked at Dorcas in the mirror. Dorcas still had her dress on, too, much to her discontent. It was a light blue one that almost matched her eyes, and Dorcas didn't seem to be aware of how beautiful she looked in it. It had gold detailing in the skirt of the dress that also trailed up the bodice. It really was gorgeous.

Lily had never even been in something like this before. She cringed when she thought of how expensive it surely was.

"Just put it on my bill, Denise," Mrs. Natalie said excitedly. "Finally, I have an excuse to dress you two up! Especially you, Dorcas. Don't look so glum, you look stunning!"

"Yeah, whatever." she muttered.

"Oh, pish posh, you two look simply marvelous. You're both sure to find boys at the ball looking like that," she said distractedly, following Denise into the other room. "Now I heard the Carnagy boys are quite nice, as well as the Pendlebee's. . . ."

The two girls shared exasperated looks and Dorcas came up next to Lily in the mirror.

"I really don't think I've even touched something this expensive before." Lily joked.

Dorcas snorted. "Don't worry about it. You look great."

"Ugh, if I hear one more adjective describing how 'beautiful' I look, I'll puke." Lily laughed.

Dorcas laughed, too. "I know, mum can be so overbearing. Let's get these contraptions off. _Mum_! _We're getting out of these torture devices_!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "I don't think Denise will appreciate that comment very much."

Dorcas shrugged. "Denise doesn't talk. And she doesn't show emotion. I wonder how she even came to be that way sometimes. . . ."

Lily chuckled. "She kind of scary."

"I know." Dorcas agreed, laughing quietly as she glanced back.

Then, they working on detaching themselves from the dresses.

**XXX**

"I really don't understand _why_ we had to go if they were just going to be the traditional black dress robes. Couldn't have mum just took our measurements and we'd be done with it?" James snapped, flopping onto his bed after a much unwanted day of shopping.

"You know how women are, Prongsie, they take any chance to torture us boys." Sirius reasoned, leaning against the bedpost.

"How can girls do this all the time, I'm exhausted now!" James complained, slapping a pillow over his eyes.

"No, no, you can't go to sleep," Sirius said, snatching the pillow away from him. "We have to put the finishing touches on the Map. I wrote Moony, and he told me what we have to do."

"He's okay with us finishing it without him and Peter?" James asked, sitting up.

"Yeah, the sooner we get it done, the sooner we can make sure it's perfect," Sirius said, opening up James' sock drawr and digging inside it for the piece of parchment. "Besides, now we can show them the finished product when they come visit next week for the ball thingy."

He took it out and brought it over to James, where they hunched over it, getting to work.


	5. A Visit and an Apology

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed! And a special thanks to Colleen, for her lovely reviews, and YES, I am a huge Panic! fan, as you can tell from this chapter title as well. :) But I'm sad Ryan and Jon left. :(_

_ Anyway, happy reading!_

**New Perspective**

The day when the Meadowes and Lily were going to floo to the Potters came much too quickly for Lily's health. Though she didn't complain, Dorcas could tell that Lily was still annoyed by the idea, and so she kept up the encouraging. Dorcas took another look at Lily as they walked down the steps with their trunks packed for a weeks time. Maybe the whole playing Cupid deal wouldn't work out so great after all.

But the ball would be a perfect oppurtunity. That's when Dorcas would really try to get them to dance or something. Ah, who was Dorcas kidding? She really was way in over her head here. She didn't even know where to begin!

"Dorcas? You alright?"

Dorcas snapped out of it and looked to Lily, who was furrowing her brow at her worriedly. Dorcas smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just lost in thought." she explained, shrugging.

They made their way to the living room where her parents were already waiting and as Mum and Dad got everything ready, Lily nudged Dorcas with a smirk.

"Hey, you look kind of worried," she noted, "Do you have a thing for James after all?"

"Ugh, no, don't make me puke!" Dorcas exclaimed, "I just - it's nothing."

Before Lily could question her further, her parents told them they were finally ready, and they gave each of the girls some floo powder.

"Ready to put up with James for a whole week, Lils?" Dorcas asked, grinning as she stepped into the fireplace.

Lily groaned. "Dorcas! Did you really have to do that? I was just starting to accept it!"

Dorcas laughed. "I'm _kidding_, Evans, cool it," she said, then lifted the floo powder and dropped it into the fireplace, exclaiming, "Potter Manor!"

Potter Manor? As in . . . an actual manor? Merlin, if she thought Dorcas' house was big, she in for it with Potter's house.

"Go ahead, Lily." Mr. John said, waving her in.

Lily stepped into the fireplace and yelled, "Potter Manor!", and threw the floo powder down. She was immediately tugged into the floo vortex, images passing before her eyes, the green flames dancing, her stomach churning - and then it stopped. She tumbled out of another fireplace, hopefully the Potters, and she let out a whoosh of breath.

"Lily! Thank Merlin you didn't floo somewhere else on purpose. I really thought you would for a moment." she heard Dorcas exclaim, and she knew she was in the right place.

Lily slowly got up, brushing herself off as she did, and muttered, "Yes, well, don't think it didn't cross my mind."

Then, she looked up and saw Dorcas there, grinning, but she also took in the enormity of James living room. _Only _his living room. Lily swore she could fit her entire house in it. Maybe even a three-story version of her house. It had such intricate detailing on every piece of dark wood furniture and many statues and other artifacts that Lily was afraid to touch. She soon heard the pounding of footsteps from the floor above and faint yelling of, "Dorcas is here, Sirius! I know you want to see her! Ugh, dear Merlin - get a shirt on for Christ's sake!"

Lily and Dorcas shared an exasperated look, but they couldn't pretend they weren't amused.

"Are they here already?" Lily heard Mrs. Potter - or so she guessed - ask.

Then, James' parents emerged from a room in front of them, and Lily immediately liked them for some reason. Mrs. Potter seemed to glow, her blue eyes shining and she had a brilliant smile on her face. She had her dark hair pulled back and had on what Lily would consider fancy clothes, but she had a feeling they weren't fancy for Mrs. Potter. Mr. Potter had dark hair that was graying and had James' hazel eyes. He was a muscular man for his age, and he didn't wear clothes quite as fancy as Mrs. Potter, but he had this classy air about him that would make Lily think he had power anyway.

"Oh, Dorcas, how lovely to see you again," Mrs. Potter said, coming forward to hug her, and then she beamed at Lily. "Oh, hello, Lily, it's so nice to meet you! You can call me Mrs. Susan, dear."

"We're happy to have you," Mr. Potter said in a booming voice, smiling at Lily as well. "Call me Mr. Ben, kiddo."

Lily smiled back and nodded. "Nice to meet you both. Thank you for having me."

"Oh, let me just get those to your rooms," Mr. Ben said, flicking his wand, and the trunks disappeared. "James will show you where you're staying when he comes down."

Luckily, there was no need for small talk, because at that moment Dorcas' mum and dad flooed into the Potter household. The Potter's went to go greet the Meadowes parents, leaving Lily and Dorcas to wait for James and - apparently - Sirius to come down the stairs.

"I didn't know Sirius was going to be here." Lily murmured to Dorcas.

"Neither did I." she said and didn't seem too thrilled at the thought.

Lily snickered, "It'll only be as bad as you make it."

Dorcas laughed despite herself. "I knew those damned words would come back to bite me arse."

They both chuckled and then they heard more pounding footsteps.

"Sirius, don't you dare drop that dungbomb up here, it'll smell for a week!"

"It's just a little welcoming prank - "

"Give it to me."

"No."

"Give it to me!"

"Nope!"

There was more running from the floor above and they peered up the staircase just in time to see the boys zoom by, James chasing after a laughing Sirius. The girls looked at each other and shrugged, starting to climb the stairs cautiously.

"Give it to me! Hey - don't drop it. Do _not _drop it! _Don't _- "

There was a loud smashing sound and Lily hoped desperately that Sirius hadn't dropped the dungbomb. The girls hurried up the steps and around the corner and found James had tackled Sirius and the dungbomb was rolling down the corridor into safety. Sirius groaned.

"Get - off." he grunted, trying to lift himself up.

James sat on Sirius' back and put his chin in his hands contentedly. "Nope."

"Get _off_, you prat!"

He paused. "No, I don't think I will."

The girls were having a hard time keeping it together, especially since the boys hadn't even realized they were standing there yet.

"I will _jelly-legs jinx_ your ass, Potter!"

"Oh, I'm so terrified."

The girls finally lost it and started laughing uncontrollably, holding their stomachs. The two boys snapped thier heads to the side to look at the girls - Sirius doing so rather painfully - and they gaped. They'd already embarressed themselves in front of the girls they fancied and they hadn't even been there for five minutes.

Brilliant.

James stared. Lily Evans was in his house. _Lily Evans was in his house_. How - Why - What? _What was she doing here_?

"Evans?" James exclaimed, standing abruptly from Sirius' back.

"So lovely to see you two." Sirius grunted, standing up slowly with a pained grimace.

"Yes, we realized how happy you were to see us when we heard you wanted to throw a dungbomb at us," Dorcas said dryly, "That was just what we'd need as a welcoming gift."

"Yes, thanks for that." Lily added, still chuckling a bit.

"James!" Mrs. Susan yelled from downstairs. "Is everything alright up there?"

"Yeah, Mum, everything's fine!" James yelled back, still distracted by the fact that Lily Evans was only a few feet from his bedroom.

"Alright, well, show the girls where their bedrooms are!" Mr. Ben called.

"Brilliant idea!" Dorcas burst out, surprising all three of them. "Sirius, why don't you show me to my room?"

Lily looked at Dorcas like she was crazy. "Pardon?"

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked.

"Did you say 'Sirius' or . . . something else?" James asked, furrowing his brow.

Dorcas sighed. "I said Sirius. Come on, show me my room, Black."

Sirius smirked, put on his 'smolder', and drawled, "Is that an invitation, because - "

"Come. Show me. My room." she said through her teeth.

He sighed, walking over to her. "But I don't even know - "

"Would you _shut it_?" she hissed as they walked down the corridor, leaving the other two completely baffled. "This is part of the plan! Or have you already forgotten? You didn't tell James, did you?"

"No, no," Sirius said, although he _did _forget. But at least he didn't tell James. "Sorry. Won't happen again."

"Good." she grumbled.

They rounded a corner and Sirius started whistling. Dorcas glanced at him.

"Are you going to show me my room? Or are you just going to whistle?"

"I don't know where it is." he pointed out defensively.

She sighed, pushing her short blonde hair out of her face. "I'm guessing it's this one, since it's the one I stayed in last time I slept here overnight."

She opened the door and walked in. She guessed correctly, she presumed, considering her trunk was resting on the bed. Sunlight streamed through the three large windows on the opposite wall and Dorcas smiled - she loved this room.

Then, she turned and found Sirius sitting on her bed. She scowled.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

He shrugged innocently. "Nothing." he said truthfully.

"Well, get out. Please."

"But I wouldn't want to disturb Lily and James." he pointed out, and she knew from the look on his face he was just trying to get her riled up.

She sighed and contemplated his point. "Fine. Stay, I don't care. Just don't talk."

"Alright." he said, shrugging and leaning back onto the bed with his hands behind his head.

She took her trunk off the mattress and went over to the armoire, starting to unpack her clothes. Sirius looked at her for a moment and then leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He really tried to be quiet, but then his more immature side won out.

"You excited for the ball?" he asked, smiling in anticipation for her reaction.

"Not especially." she muttered.

He cracked open one eye. "Why not? Don't all girls love that kind of stuff?"

"Guess that shows how much you know about me," she laughed, then continued, "Not all girls like that stuff, Sirius. I'd rather go to a Quidditch game or something. And the fact that it's supposed to be a distraction from reality really is just not right."

Sirius lifted his head and stared at her, now seeing her in a new light.

She really was perfect for him.

"Yeah." he said lightly, his realization finally quieting him.

**XXX**

Lily and James awkwardly stood there for a moment after their best friends rounded the corner, and not until James cleared his throat did Lily turn to face him again. Their last conversation together hung in the air and Lily could feel the tension weighing on her shoulders. She had to make the first move. She shouldn't have been so harsh, she realized that now.

"Potter, I - "

"Look, I'm really - "

_Of course_, Lily sighed in her head. James started to talk again, but Lily cut him off.

"Wait, just let me say this first," she said, and he nodded cautiously. "What I said that night was wrong. It wasn't just your fault, it was Severus', too. He's the one who made the choice to call me what he did, and I was out of line for yelling at you like that. I put all the blame on you and it wasn't fair. And I'm sorry."

There, she finally said it. Lily felt relieved - she knew she made the right choice in apologizing. James looked more relieved than her, and more than a bit surprised. Then, a troubled expression crossed his face.

"Thank you for the apology, Lily," he finally said, "but I don't deserve it. I _was_ the one who provoked him, and I _did_ indirectly ruin your friendship with Snape. And I'm sorry, too."

Lily stared for a moment. Merlin, James actually apologized? She never thought she'd see the day when Potter would swallow his pride and be the better person. But she guessed the day had come.

Maybe James Potter wasn't so bd after all . . .

No, no, she wouldn't go thinking like that. That would only lead to unwanted troubles, and Lily knew it was just easier to keep up the one-dimensional, banter-feuled relationship they had now.

But she smiled, so he knew she appreciated his apology, and nodded down the hall. "So, you going to show me my room?"

James nodded, and they started walking down the corridor. Lily's mind, for whatever reason, drifted to that morning's Daily Prophet. Two days ago, Winston Wilderbeast, a Muggle-born and student at Hogwarts, had been spared while Death Eaters had killed the rest of his family. Lily had been hit hard by this, and it made her paranoid about leaving her own family alone. Lily remembered how James' parents were Aurors and, as he opened the door to her room, she looked at him curiously.

"James?" she murmured, and he looked at her expectantly. "Your parents are Aurors, right?"

He frowned and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Did you see the Daily Prophet this morning?" she asked quietly.

He seemed to realize what she was getting at and nodded.

"How bad is it really, James? I need to know."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Lily, I - " He was about to refuse, but upon seeing her expression again, he sighed and continued, "It's bad. Really bad. The Daily Prophet doesn't release half of what he's really doing. Muggle torture, all the murders - it's already terrible and it's getting worse. His followers are growing and the Aurors can't catch him. It's like he's a ghost. They don't even know what he looks like - no one who's seen him has lived to tell the tale."

Lily paled and leaned against the doorframe, her mind on her family. If they ever were murdered because she was a Muggle-born witch, she didn't know if she would be able to live with herself. It was the worst thing Lily could imagine happening to her.

"I'm sorry, I was too honest." he murmured.

"No, there's no such thing as too honest," she replied, looking up at him and forcing a smile. "Thank you for telling me the thruth."

He nodded, still troubled, and she brushed past him into her room. He took that as his cue to leave, and even though he didn't want to - even though he just wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay - he quietly closed the door and went to find Sirius.

**XXX**

James found him in Dorcas' room, but heard her and Sirius having a heated debate before he actually entered the room. He peered in and leaned against the doorframe, amused.

"The Holyhead Harpies?" Sirius exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You only like them because they're an all-girl team! Admit it"

"What? I do not! That is a _ridiculous _reason to like a team! I like them because my parents have always been fans, and - "

"Oh, please, the Falmouth Falcons would destroy them any day!"

"Ugh, you like the Falmouth Falcons? They're so barbaric!"

"That's not what liking a team's about, Meadowes - it's about the sport."

"That's not _all_ it's about, you - "

James decided to intervene here because their volume levels were getting dangerously high, and he didn't want to disturb his parents. They thought the four of them were all smashing good friends. He knocked on the doorframe and raised an eyebrow when they both snapped their heads to him.

"Who do you like better, James, the Falmouth Falcons or the Holyhead Harpies?" Sirius asked, still talking rather loudly.

"Sirius, inside voice."

"Sorry."

James pretended to think, although he wasn't planning on picking a side. "I prefer the Chudley Cannons myself."

"Oh, gross!"

"That is _pathetic_, James!"

He was taken aback, and he exclaimed defensively, "What?"

Sirius scoffed. "I like the _Holyhead Harpies _more than the Chudley Cannons. The Holyhead Harpies, James!"

"They're just terrible," Dorcas exclaimed, grimacing. "What _possessed_ you to be a fan of that team?"

James scowled and sucked in a breath to dive into a long explanation when his mother yelled from downstairs that it was time for dinner. They all looked at one another challengingly.

"We'll finish this later." Sirius finally proclaimed, standing slowly.

Sirius followed James out the door, but Dorcas stayed to finish up unpacking her things.

"Was that too overdramatic?" Sirius asked James, frowning thoughtfully.

"Just a tad."

"Right, I'll work on that."


	6. Letters Never Sent and the Marauders Map

**Only If the Giant Squid's Unavailable**

_Dear Lily,_

_ I could never begin to tell you how sorry I am about that day, a month and a half ago now. It is my greatest regret. Although I take half the blame, Potter is also a culprit of this disaster, and for that I will never forgive him. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be forever grateful. I know I don't deserve it. I just need you, Lily, because you were my one true friend - the one I could turn to whenever things got bad at home or whenever I just wanted to be with you, because you were like . . . sunshine. You were the only thing that I ever looked forward to, that I actually cared for. And I ruined it with one word. I would take it back if I could._

_ I suppose you should know why I care so much about you when I know it seems I care for nothing else. The reason is, I've been in love with you for years now - since before Hogwarts, and it has never ceased, never wavered. And it never will._

_ If you could ever find it in your heart to even forgive me as a friend, I would be the luckiest human alive. I just need you in my life, Lily, or I'll surely die . . ._

Severus Snape wrote letters to Lily he'd never send all the time. Without being able to talk to her, it was a resourceful outlet, and he always found what he needed to say easier when writing rather then talking, anyway. He often wondered when he would be able to talk to her again, or if she would ever allow him to. He gripped his quill as he thought of Potter again, the cause of this whole nightmare. He would make him pay, if it was the last thing he did.

His parents' screaming grew louder from downstairs and Snape squeezed his eyes shut.

No, Potter didn't start the nightmare. Snape's life was already a nightmare to begin with - Potter just made it a whole lot darker.

**XXX**

The adults had gone into the dining room to eat and talk about political affairs while the teenagers stayed in the kitchen, where they were currently helping themselves to the delicious meal Mrs. Susan made. The girls had almost snuck upstairs to eat, but at the look Mrs. Natalie gave them, they decided to stay with the boys in the kitchen. Lily supposed it wasn't that bad - the two of them _were_ rather funny when they weren't being so immature.

"Now, watch carefully," Sirius said melodramatically, and carefully lifted his spoon to his nose and balanced it there. He raised his hands in victory, his eyes cross-eyed as he looked at the spoon. "Ha-ha!"

"Oh, that's easy! You just do a sticking charm!" Dorcas exclaimed, flicking the spoon off his nose.

"No, no, I can do it without magic!" Sirius protested.

"Oh, yeah?" Dorcas challenged, crossing her arms over her chest. "How exactly?"

"You just breathe on it, and - " Sirius stopped at the smirk Dorcas was giving him, and Lily suppressed a laugh. "Hey! You tricked me into giving away my secret!"

"Well, it was simple enough, I just wanted the pleasure of tricking you. We can't use magic outside of school anyway, nitwit, remember?" Dorcas said smugly, spooning some mashed potatoes into her mouth.

James laughed and high-fived her. "That's right, Sirius, take it like a man!"

Lily laughed, too, and soon the four of them, instead of eating, started to try and do the trick on their own, except when one of them would finally get it, another one of them would knock it off. It was a tiresome cycle. Lily had managed to successfully keep hers out of danger for a solid five seconds when Mrs. Susan walked in with some plates. She stopped and looked at the teenagers, her mouth slightly open.

"Kids, what on earth are you doing?" she finally asked, and they all turned to look at her.

"Oh, nothing, Mum. Just something Sirius taught us." James explained, trying again to get his spoon on his nose.

"I see," she chuckled, "Well, eat your dinner before it gets cold. You've barely touched it!"

"Yeah, okay. Don't even think about knocking it off, Lily, I finally made it stay!"

"Oh, and I believe there's someone here you might want to see." Mrs. Susan said with a smirk, stepping aside.

In the doorway stood Remus Lupin, looking a bit tired, but other than that, perfectly well. "Why, hello there," Remus said upon seeing the two girls, "Wasn't expecting to see you two here. Ever, really."

"Yeah, my parents dragged us along," Dorcas explained as she ate hurriedly, and Remus sat down. "It's a pain putting up with these two."

Mrs. Susan laughed. "I'll leave you kids alone. Ice cream's in the freezer when you're done."

When James' mum left, Sirius immediately went for the freezer without a second thought, slapping Remus on the back as he went.

"Trust me, I know," Remus replied to Dorcas as he sat down, "They can wear you out, you know? Like you're their mum!"

"Just wait until you hear about Sirius' spoon trick." Lily said, rolling her eyes, "We spent a good ten minutes on that topic."

"My God, you ladies are lucky that I am here to keep you sane." Remus chuckled.

"Will you stop talking about us like we're not here?" James snapped and dug a spoon into the ice cream, wrinkling his nose.

Lily did not think it was cute when he did that. . . . at all. There was another perfectly logical explanation as to why she blushed faintly when he did so.

Remus grinned at him. "You're glad I'm here, admit it."

James glared at him, forking a piece of meat into his mouth and chewing angrily.

"Wow, you look so ferocious right now."

"Shut it, Sirius."

**XXX**

"Well, have you finished it? Let me see." Remus said excitedly as the boys hoarded into James' room later that night.

"Yeah, we finished it a week ago," James said, getting the Map out of his sock drawr. "You can check over it to see if we looked over any glitches or something."

"But we didn't." Sirius added as James gave the Map to Remus.

"We just want to make sure it's perfect, Sirius." Remus said distractedly, opening up the parchment.

"And it is." he said, smirking.

The two ignored him and they all looked over their creation: the Marauder's Map.

"Hey, wait. Where's Peter?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"He wrote me yesterday," Remus replied, "He said he's coming tomorrow."

"Great, he can look at it, too." James noted.

"Gentleman," Sirius announced, wrapping his arms around both of them and grinning. "This is the start of a whole new beautiful level of pranking for us and the generations to come."

Remus snorted. "Filch'll be thrilled."

James grinned. "Maybe we can finally pull a fast one on Mrs. Norris. I'd really just like to get a good kick in there before we leave."

They all laughed and then looked down at the Marauder's Map again, beaming.

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers_

_are proud to present_

_The Marauder's Map_

**XXX**

"I think you're actually enjoying yourself. Don't try to deny it!" Dorcas laughed. She was in Lily's room for the time being to talk, and she grinned knowingly at her best friend from where she was laying on her back on Lily's bed, her head hanging upside down off the side.

Lily rolled her eyes as she brushed her teeth, glancing at her. "Okay, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it'd be." she admitted, leaning down and spitting in the sink. "But that doesn't mean I automatically like them."

"Yeah, yeah." Dorcas chuckled as Lily walked into the room and plopped onto the bed as well.

"I did apologize to James, though." she admitted quietly.

"Really?" Dorcas gasped, rolling onto her stomach.

"Yeah, and he apologized, too. That helped a lot. I mean, I don't see why . . . I don't see why we can't be - friends." she reasoned, shrugging.

Dorcas frowned thoughtfully. "Well, it's a start."

"Oh, by the way - I saw the way you were looking at Sirius at dinner," Lily said suggestively, raising an eyebrow. "And the way he was looking at you."

"What?" Dorcas scoffed, though her heart gave a lurch. "That's ridiculous."

"Nope, don't even try, I saw that look!" Lily exclaimed, pointing to her.

"Okay, alright, keep your voice down," Dorcas laughed somewhat nervously, "So maybe I have a tiny . . . fancy for him, but it's nothing big. It's not like he'd like me anyway."

"And why not?" Lily asked, miffed.

"One, he's a man whore. Two, he thinks of me as one of the guys. And three, he thinks I hate him."

"So act like you don't hate him! And he's only acting like a man whore because he's liked you all these years - it's obvious!"

"You know, this sounds a lot like your relationship with James," Dorcas pointed out with a laugh. "Except James has professed his love for you multiple times instead of resorting to drowning himself in the opposite sex."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Stop changing the subject."

"I already admitted I have a crush," Dorcas sighed, standing up and making for the door. "but there's nothing I'm going to do about it right now."

"But - "

"No, no, don't say anything more." Dorcas insisted, already halfway out the door.

"But, Dorcas - "

"No, I'm leaving now!"

"Dorcas Meadowes, just hold on a second - "

"Bye!"

And she closed the door and let out a breath, hoping Lily wouldn't come after her. With that thought in mind, she quickly made her way down the corridor, trying to remember which way to turn. No matter how many times she visited the Potter Manor, she always managed to get lost in the numerous corridors. It didn't help that it was almost pitch black in the house, either.

She made an annoyed noise when she ended up in what she knew was definately _not_ the right place and turned around -

And rammed into someone. She yelped and squinted up at the person to see - of _course _- Sirius standing there, smirking.

"Going somewhere, Meadowes?" he asked.

She put her hands on her hips. "Actually, I was just . . . going for a stroll."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure you were."

"Okay, fine, I can't find my bedroom." she admitted hastily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Right," he chuckled, and he grabbed her shoulders, turning her to face the hallway to her right. "That's where you're headed."

"Alright then," she said, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. "Hopefully I won't get lost again."

"Here, I'm headed that way, too. I'll show you the way."

Dorcas looked at him warily, trying to sense if this was a prank or not, but she didn't get a joking vibe, so she shrugged. Then, as they started walking, she felt his fingers brush hers and he slipped his hand into hers, causing her to slightly flinch.

"Relax, Meadowes," he chuckled. "Just making sure you actually find your way this time."

She nodded even though he couldn't see her and tried to get a grip on herself. It wasn't like her to get nervous around boys - hell, she was practically one of them. She had to calm down.

Finally, near the end of the corridor, Sirius stopped and she almost slammed into him again.

"Here's your stop." he said, and she nodded, smiling tightly before she turned towards the door.

"Oh, and Meadowes?"

She turned towards him and again but found he was much, much closer this time, his face mere inches from hers now.

He half-smiled. "Goodnight." he murmured, and then turned, walking down the hall and out of sight.

Dorcas paused for a moment, her eyes wide, and then fumbled with the doorknob, finally enetering her room. She shut the door and leaned against it, trying to get her heartrate down.

"Get a hold of yourself, Meadowes," she breathed, "He annoys the hell out of you, remember?"

But she didn't really believe it anymore. And the sad part was, she was ready to accept it more than she was willing to admit.

**XXX**

"Alright, folks, let's have a fair, clean game here. No fouls or any of that rubbish. Got it? Good."

Since the ball was the next day, the teenagers - including Peter, who had finally arrived two days ago - decided to get their hands a little dirty with a Quidditch game - or play as best they could with two people on each team, which pretty much just meant beating the Bludgers around - before they had to endure the prissy, ignorant Ministry party-goers for only Merlin knows how long. Well, everyone was playing except Lily and Peter, who'd decided to be the 'referees' instead. They decided to stay out of the game, considering they weren't exactly the most gifted when it came to sports. Lily had never even been able to get her broomstick to fly into her hand in first year, so she just decided it was best to watch and referee best she could.

After James' little speech, he, Sirius, Dorcas and Remus flew into the air, and Lily and Peter sat down on the grass of the Potter's humongous backyard. It shouldn't even be considered a backyard, it was more like a field with incredible landscaping and fountains. It was ridiculous, how gorgeous everything on James' property seemed to be.

"I think Quidditch is kind of boring myself." Peter spoke up, glancing at Lily.

Lily was surprised. She'd never talked to Peter or had any communication with him, really, until this moment. She'd always thought he was kind of creepy - but he didn't seem that way now. He seemed pretty decent.

"I never could play, so, to tell you the truth, I've always just kind of pretended to hate it," she admitted, chuckling, "but it'd be nice to be able to at least fly a broomstick. I never even got mine to fly into my hand in first year."

"Me neither!" he exclaimed, grinning, "And James and Sirius wouldn't let it go for about the whole bloody year. That was awful."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, that sounds like them."

Peter paused, glancing up at James before taking a deep breath. He hoped this worked. He'd never really done something so bold before.

"Lily, I'm going to tell you a story about James - "

"Peter, really - "

"Please, just listen," he pleaded, "I've always been to embarressed to tell it, but I'm hoping this'll help you see what a brilliant bloke he is."

Lily hesitated but then nodded reluctantly. Peter looked off into the backyard, his mind going back through the years.

"In first year, when I first got on the Hogwarts Express, I was late. I was hurrying through the corridors, trying to find an empty compartment, and then I accidently ran into a group of Slytherins. You know, Snape, Mulciber - that group - " Lily's hand clenched but she nodded. " - and they started to pick on me. It was really hard for me - I had always been the odd man out, and to have my first experience - not even at Hogwarts yet - be bullying, well, it was tough. But before they could really do anything to me, I heard someone shout, 'Hey, leave him alone', and it was James, of course, and he threatened to curse them if they didn't let me go. They laughed in the beginning, of course, but then James actually did curse the sorry blokes and then scurried away - luckily a prefect wasn't around. James brought me back to his compartment and he welcomed me into his group for some reason I still don't understand. I was finally a part of something, and it's because James allowed me to be.

"James has always been a loyal friend, Lily, and if you should be able to admit anything decent about him, it's that."

Lily looked over at Peter and he seemed lost in thought, but then he glanced at her and smiled. She smiled back.

"Thank you, Peter," Lily said, then chuckled, "It seems like all the forces in the universe want me to go out with James Potter."

"But only if the giant squid's unavailable, right?" Peter asked, perhaps the most witty thing he'd ever uttered in his life.

Lily laughed out loud, remembering her words from last year. "Well, I never said I'd actually go out with him, Peter," she reminded him, "it's going to take more than all the forces in the universe to get me to go out with Potter. He's going to have to prove himself, too, and stop making other people do it for him."

Peter paused. "Can I tell him that?" he checked.

She laughed again. "Go for it. I just really don't think - "

"Hey! That was a foul! Was that not a foul, you two?"

Lily and Peter looked up to see Sirius pointing his bat accusingly at a smirking Dorcas and glaring down at them.

"Erm - we weren't exactly looking." Peter admitted.

"But you two are the referee's!" Remus laughed, flying over to the scene.

"She _hit _me in the _head _with the _bat_!" Sirius exclaimed, his arms flailing to make his point.

"Er, we'll let it slide with a warning," Lily said importantly, the muttered to Peter, "Is that even allowed? I don't really pay attention at the games."

Before he could respond, Sirius made a big show of pouting, but they resumed the game.

"Aw, don't be so down, Padfoot, Sirius-ly." James said, holding back sure laughter.

"Enough with the PUNS!"


	7. The Trumpetts and Some Dancing

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, it means so much! Thanks! And if anyone wants to hear the music that inspired the last part of this chpater with the dancing, it's from the Disney movie Tangled - because I have odd obsessions I suppose - and its' the score 'Kingdom Dance', just if you're interested._

_ Happy reading!_

_ Oh, and disclaimer for this whole thing: I own aboslutely nothing. . . . That's all there is to it._

**Hanging By a Moment**

"Now, Dorcas, you better smile when you walk down those steps, dear," Mrs. Natalie chastised her daughter as she laced her dress up in the back. "Remember what I said about the men that are going to be there - "

"Yeah, I know, they're charming and powerful and all that rubbish." Dorcas finished monotonously.

Lily smirked and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched. Lily had gotten ready much earlier than Dorcas, who had been procrastinating until the last minute. When Mrs. Natalie popped in to check on them half an hour ago and saw her daughter was still in her normal clothes, she about had a hernia. Lily now got to lounge back and laugh at her best friends melodramatic misery, her mother scolding her the whole time.

Mrs. Natalie sighed deeply as she delicately styled Dorcas' hair into an updo. "Why couldn't I have had a more _feminine_ daughter? Where did you get your personality?" she joked exasperatedly, though she looked partly serious.

"I'm guessing from Dad." Dorcas said dryly.

"Dorcas Rose, quit with the attitude."

"Aw, mum, not with the middle name," Dorcas complained, then sighed in defeat at the look her mother gave her. "Fine. I'm sorry. Parties just aren't really my thing."

Lily, feeling a mother-daughter heart to heart coming on, quietly slipped off the bed and out the door to they could have some privacy. It was an extremely rare thing, for Dorcas to actually reveal her emotions, and Lily would give Mrs. Natalie and her all the time they needed to sort out their underlying issues. Lily closed the door as quietly as she could and looked left and right, wondering which way she should go. She knew Mrs. Natalie would have a cow if the boys saw her in her dress before the ball, so she knew not to go right, where both their bedrooms were - or so she thought, the place was so massive - so she was about to go left when she heard a low wolf-whistle.

She turned and saw Sirius leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets. Well, there goes the idea of avoiding them - or at least one of them.

He chuckled. "You're gonna knock him off his feet, Evans." he said, and she, of course, knew who he was talking about.

"Well, that was not my intention," she snorted, then hastily changed the subject, smirking at him. "Well, you don't look too bad yourself. I'm sure Dorcas will appreciate that."

He laughed and shook his head. "Oh, no, she doesn't like me like that, Evans - as her best friend, I'd think you should know."

Oh, dear. Sirus really did think Dorcas didn't like him.

"Sirius, you _do_ know that Dorcas truely does - "

"Padfoot. _Padfoot_. . . . Sirius!"

"I'm right here, Remus." Sirius called, and Remus rounded the corner, an apple in his hand. He caught sight of Lily and paused, shaking his head with a smirk.

"Oh, my. James is a dead man." he chuckled, leaning against the wall next to Sirius.

Lily scoffed and shook her head. "Oh, shove off, I'm not _dazzling _or anything. Now - "

"Sirius? Remus? Where are you two?"

At the sound of James' voice, the two Marauder's looked at Lily, panicked, and then started shooing her down the hall.

"What's wrong?" she hissed frantically.

"He can't see you before the ball!" Sirius explained like it was obvious.

"His face'll be way to priceless, we can't waste it with only _us_ to see!" Remus added.

And she rounded the corner, the two boys doubling back to find their friend. She sighed and blew some hair out of her face, shaking her head. Then, she suddenly hear familiar voices.

"Come on, hurry! We're already half an hour late!"

"Well, I'm sorry, I had to meet Frank before this, and my trunk is so heavy my hand's about to fall off."

"What the bloody hell's in there?"

"My dress . . . and some other nessecities."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Mary? Alice?" Lily gasped and hurried around the corner to find Mary and Alice on the staircase, Alice attempting to drag a huge trunk behind her. They both looked up and beamed at her.

"Lily!" they both exclaimed and Mary ran up the stairs to hug her first.

"Oh, you look _beautiful_!" Mary gasped, leaning back to study her outfit.

"It's gorgeous, Lily!" Alice agreed and abandoned her trunk, coming up to hug her as well.

"What are you two doing here?" Lily laughed.

"Well, it was _supposed_ to be a surprise, but I guess we were a bit loud," Alice grinned, still breathing rather heavily from trying to get her trunk up the stairs, "It's sort of a long story - you know, Mary's parents work in the Department of Mysteries and my parents work in the Department of Magical Cooperation, so we were all going to the ball anyway, and then our parents got in touch with James' parents and they decided to invite us over since they already had you lot over, and . . . yes, that's how it went."

"Brilliant!" Lily laughed, "Well, I was just with Dorcas, but then her and her mum sort of start having a heart to heart so I let them be."

"Dorcas having a heart to heart?" Mary repeated, raising her eyebrows. "That's quite something."

Lily snorted. "Tell me about it. That's why I left. Here, we can go to my room and talk, though. Alice, do you need help with that trunk?"

**XXX**

After they got settled in Lily's room, they climbed onto the bed so they could exchange stories of how their summers went. Mary had gone on a trip to the America's and she gushed on how much she adored New York City specifically, and how Americans were so different from them. Alice had spent most of the summer with Frank, much to the other girls amusement, and they met each others families, which Alice said she was quite frightened about. She said she was sure her two older brothers, Gideon and Fabian, had dragged Frank off at some point when she wasn't looking to threaten him if he ever hurt her.

"The two are such idiots." she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Lily then told the other two about her sister's dreadful boyfriend and how she played along with the 'anger management' issue she apparently had and how, much to Vernon's annoyance, she called him Vern. That had them in stitches for a while, and then Lily proceeded to tell them about the few days her and Dorcas had spent with the Marauder's, explaining that it actually wasn't that bad.

"Not that bad?" Alice repeated in surprise. "Lily, dear Merlin, I thought you hated James' guts."

"I do - I mean, sort of. Okay, not really," she admitted, "I mean, it seems like everything's changed since I got here - he's been so . . . not Potter-like. The way I see it, there's Potter, and then there's James. When he acting like James, I find myself actually anjoying his company. But when he acts like Potter, I swear I just want to hex him into oblivion. It's sort of confusing. But do you get what I mean?"

They both nodded and Alice asked, "So do you think you'll actually . . . get along now? Because I'm not gonna lie, that'd just weird me out."

They laughed and Lily was about to reply when the door burst open and Dorcas stood there, all dolled up now.

"_There _you are, I've been - _Alice_? _Mary_? What are you doing here?" she excalimed, running forward and throwing her arms around both of them.

They laughed, and Alice replied, "We just got in. It was a surprise, but Lily caught us at the steps."

"Only because _Alice_ was being so loud." Mary said jokingly.

"Well, I'd love to chat, but Mum just told me we have to go soon," Dorcas said wearily, "It's past dark now and the ball starts in half an hour - you know how ancy she is."

Mary and Alice looked at each other, then down at their clothes.

"Guess we better hurry up and get dressed then."

**XXX**

"Merlin's shaggy beard, I really think this collar is going to cut off my air circulation." Sirius said, pulling at the thing to loosen it.

Remus looked at him in the mirror as he straightened his robes and rolled his eyes. "Maybe you should try loosening that very fashionable bowtie of yours, genius."

Sirius paused and then scowled at him. "No need for the attitude, Moony. I _knew_ that."

"Sure you did." he muttered to where Sirius couldn't hear.

"Will you two shut it?" James exclaimed hysterically as he paced. "I'm freaking out!"

"Yeah, you look a little frazzled, Prongs." Peter noted, frowning.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He's just freaking out about Lily. He gets like this sometimes. Jamesy, if you keep it up, your hair is going to get even _more_ ridiculous-looking than it is now. It'll friz. So you sould probably calm down at bit."

James glared at him. "Calm down? _Calm down_? This is a big deal! What if I ask her to dance and she refuses?"

"Wouldn't be any different than when you ask her out to Hogsmeade at least seven times every year and she refuses." Sirius replied nonchalantly.

James scowled. "You're not helping!" he complained.

"Well, Padoot's sort of right, James," Remus said, turning to him. "There's no harm in asking. We'd think you'd know that by now. If she says no, okay, but if she says yes, you'll be glad you asked."

James stopped pacing and sighed. "You're right. You're right, I'm just acting like a - "

"Woman." Sirius finished.

"Well, I was going to say 'Hufflepuff', but whatever." James muttered.

There was a knock at the door and Mrs. Potter walked in, beaming as she saw the boys. "Oh, look at all of you dressed up! You look so grown up now! You know, I still remember when all of you were first years - "

"Mum, not now." James sighed.

"Right, well, the MacDonalds and the Prewetts are here, so that should be enough to side-along Apparate you kids. The ball's in fifteen minutes, so we're counting down now - be downstairs by the fireplace in ten minutes," she ordered, and started to walk out the door, but without a reminder of, "_Ten minutes_, James Benjamin!"

"_Alright_, Mum!"

The door closed the other Marauders snickered - well, Sirius right out laughed, but only because he knew the usage of James' middle name irked him to no end.

"'James Benjamin'," he repeated with a sigh, adjusting his bowtie in the mirror, "Gets me every time."

**XXX**

"Girls, come on, the others have already Apparated to the ball, they thought we were right behind them," Mrs. Prewett said, and the four girls shoved on their shoes, hurrying out of Lily's bedroom and down the stairs.

Gideon, Fabian and Mr. Prewett were already standing there in the living room. They looked up when the girls descended the steps and the twins let out joking wolf whistles.

"Alice, if any boy such as _looks_ at you too long - " Fabian began as Dorcas took his arm to side-along Apparate, but she cut him off.

"I have a _boyfriend_, Fabian, remember? I'll be with him all night."

"Doesn't stop the others from lookin', Ali." Gideon muttered, and then grinned at Lily, holding out his arm for her. She smiled back.

"Alright, alright, enough of that." Mr. Prewett insisted, who had Alice on his arm. (Mary was of course with Mrs. Prewett). "Al, you look beautiful. Now let's get jiggy with it."

The Prewett kids groaned.

"_Dad_, enough with the 'hip' terms - they're not hip!" Gideon exclaimed hastily, but Mr. Prewett just grinned and Apparated with a _pop_.

Lily realized where the twins got their joking streak.

Then, the rest of them Apparated, too, and Lily had that unpleasent tugging feeling, but luckily it was over soon, and they were suddenly standing in the middle of the Ministry of Magic. People were milling about, all dressed as fancy as them, gossiping, drinking, laughing.

"I feel like I should be talking in Old English," Gideon muttered to Lily as she released his arm, and she chuckled. "Excuse me, thine fair lady - " he began grandly, Lily already laughing, but Mrs. Prewett cut him off.

"Fabian - I mean, Gideon," she sighed, waving him to where the entrance doors were. "Stop joking around. Let's go already!"

Him and Lily laughed before they joined the others, walking into the entrance of the ballroom. Lily gasped when she walked through the doors. The golden ballroom seemed to shine, and the enormous dance floor at the bottom of the stairs they had yet to descend was filled with people, dancing and laughing. The crystal chandelier hanging from the cieling glittered and winked at Lily, and she almost missed their cue to walk down the steps.

Dorcas came up beside Lily when they were halfway down, trying not to laugh out loud at something. Lily raised her eyebrows at her best friend.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" she asked, chuckling.

"You should see James' face right now," she finally laughed, "but don't look now. Look later, I'm sure he'll still be staring then."

Despite what Dorcas advised, Lily's eyes scanned the room and when she saw James, she didn't have an urge to laugh - she had urge to gape at him. Never had she realized how _handsome _he really was -

"Aw, Lily, I told you not to look!" Dorcas complained, obviously not realizing what was going through Lily's head.

Lily snapped out of it and took another one-dimensional look at James. He was staring at her like she was a diamond in the rough or something, and Lily looked away, blushing.

Alice and Mary joined them once they finally made it down the steps and was in the midst of the party, and Alice grabbed her and Dorcas' arms excitedly. "This is going to be _so_ - "

Before she could finish, Mrs. Natalie swept over to them, grinning, and hugged them all. "Oh, girls, you look so beautiful! I'm sure every eye was on you as you walked down the stairs."

"I seriously doubt it." Dorcas muttered, and Lily stifled a laugh.

Alice went to go find Frank, and Mary went to find her mother, leaving the two other girls alone with Mrs. Natalie. They glanced at each other in mild fear.

"Okay, girls, come here," she demanded, grabbing both of the girls wrists and dragging them along anyway. "These two boys I'm about to show you are the Trumpett twins and their father _owns_ the Magicked Hair chain. Now I want you smile and act pretty. Oh, _hello_, boys! This is Dorcas, my daughter, and her best friend, Lily."

The Trumpett twins were identical, and Lily predicted, just by looking at them, that they probably _acted_ the same as well. Dorcas tried to turn and run, apparently on the same track as Lily, but her mother spun her back around and before they knew it, both girls were alone with the Trumpett twins. They both had hair that defied gravity, but it a different way than James' - it was more of a swooshed blonde poof in the front - Lily suspected it had something to do with their father owning the Magicked Hair chain - and their eyes were both crystal blue. Their identical "charming" half-grins showed their blinding white teeth and their perfect, ironed dress robes looked way too expensive for just one lousy ball.

"Erm, hello." Lily said after a moment, when it was clear Dorcas was refusing to talk. She just crossed her amrs over her chest and glared at the brothers.

"Hi." one of them greeted her in what Lily guessed would be flirtatiously, winking at her. She suppressed either a griamce or a laugh, she didn't know which.

"He's Chad." the other one said, nodding nonchalantly to him.

"And he's Brad." Chad said, smirking as he indidcated his brother.

"Um, I'm Lily," Lily said and waited for Dorcas. When she didn't say anything, she sighed, "And that's Dorcas."

"So," Brad drawled, looking at Dorcas, and leaned into her. "Dorcas. That's a pretty name."

Dorcas stared at him, her mouth slightly open in astonishment. "Okay, look, Blondie, there is only _one_ reason I'm over here - "

"SO, CHAD," Lily exclaimed over her before things got out of hand. "I hear your father owns the, uh, Magicked Hair cooperation. . . . That's - great."

The twins seemed oblivious to the tension with the girls and Chad flipped his hair easily. "Yeah, it is great - isn't it?" he said in a low voice.

Lily really couldn't help but laugh a little now. "Um - yeah, it's really great."

"Yeah, it is. Isn't it, Brad?"

"Yeah. It is, Chad."

There was a short silence in which Lily desperately looked for a way out of this dreadful conversation. Dorcas wasn't even paying attention, so it was up to Lily.

Her eyes fell on the Marauder's. They were sure to get them out of this torture trap. She was sure if she told the Trumpett's they was thirsty, they'd either follow them to the punch or get it for them. If she said she wanted ot go to the bathroom, Lily bet they'd wait for the the two girls.

So, as Chad and Brad went on about how exactly they _got_ their hair to look like it does, Lily bounced on her toes enxiously as she tried to make eye contact with one of the four pranksters. Finally, she caught Sirius' eye, and he did a double take when he realized she was staring at him with huge eyes that she hoped screamed 'HELP US'. Sirius burst into laughter, and nudged James, pointing to her. James started to laugh at her expression, then looked at the two boys she was with. His face immediately turned into a frown and he started to stomp over when Sirius grabbed his arm. Lily let out a frustrated breath as they conversed, their arms flailing. Siruis seemed to be amused, and James seemed to be distressed.

"Will one of you just _help_ already?" she muttered.

"What was that, beautiful?" Chad asked, and she glanced at him in surprise, then grinned brilliantly.

"Oh, nothing - go on, please, it's so interesting, what you're talking about." she urged falsely - she had no idea what they were on about.

"Yes, like I was saying - so I lured the giant out of it's cave - "

"And then I weilded my sword, then flung my cape off with the wind - it was very heroic, you can imagine. . . ."

Lily tuned them both out and looked back to James and Sirius, who were on their way over. She sighed in relief and nudged Dorcas, who looked at her, then followed her line of sight. She snorted.

"Oh, there you two are, we've been looking all over!" Sirius exclaimed, bursting into the conversation.

"It was _devastating_ without you!" James added, coming to Lily's side. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"And who exactly are you?" Brad asked, eyeing Siruis' arm, which was around Dorcas' waist.

"We are . . . " James began, but trailed off uncertaintly.

"We're their . . . " Sirius tried, but just mumbled incoherently.

"I didn't catch that." Chad admitted, clueless.

Brad raised an eyebrow. "You're courting them, I presume?"

Lily almost blatantly lurched forward, but she managed to just put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. James squeezed her arm.

"Um, yes - yes, we are . . . courting them." Sirius said, obviously trying to hold back laughter.

"Hm," Chad murmured, glancing in disapproval to Brad. "Well, ladies, if they do not . . . fulfill your needs, we'll be waiting."

Lily was speechless, and Dorcas seemed to be in the same boat, but the boys seemed fine. James waved sarcastically.

"Oh, that won't be a problem." James said, and Sirius grinned.

The Trumpett brothers walked off, leaving the four alone. Lily buried her face in her hands, trying to suppress a blush and she heard Dorcas punch Sirius' arm.

"Ow!" Siruis complained, "What? I was helping you!"

"You could've just said we were friends or something!"

"_He_ suggested it!"

"Nice excuse! And look at Lily, you have her all embarressed now!" Dorcas exclaimed.

Lily scowled and lifted her head. "I am not! That was just . . . different."

Dorcas rolled her eyes and shook her head with a small smile. "They were absolutely terrible. Let's go find Alice and Mary or something."

"You're welcome!" James said exasperatedly.

Dorcas laughed at him. "Thank you, James."

"Oh, of course!" Sirius scoffed. "Thank James, but not me!"

She glanced at him, half-smiling. "Thank you, Sirius. Come on, Lily."

Lily gave them both grateful glances as well before Dorcas tugged her off to the other side of the room, and they left both James and especially Sirius to wonder what that look Dorcas had given him meant.

"Girls confuse me." Sirius noted, still staring after the blonde.

James also stared after Lily and nodded absently. "Yeah."

**XXX**

They ended up dancing - and Merlin, did they dance. It was a fun dance, the kind where you kick off your shoes and lift up your skirts and move your feet whatever way you want. Lily let her hair fall out of its bindings and in her face as she laughed along with her friends, feeling more carefree than she had in a long time.

Lily danced and danced and danced, sometimes with her friends, sometimes alone, sometimes with a partner, laughing all the way. She felt like her feet weren't even touching the ground as she moved in tune with the music. She lifted her skirts as she twirled and spun and side stepped and sashayed, switching dance partners every few mintues. The song was an upbeat tune, with everyone clapping to keep the tempo going. If Lily wasn't mistaken, it seemed to get faster and faster, and she seemed to twirl faster and faster, and soon she couldn't even keep track of where she was going or who she was dancing with. She spun and spun and spun and spun and -

Then, she stumbled into someone's arms and looked up to find James there, looking just as breathless as her. She let out a whoosh of breath in surprise, but they didn't stop their dancing as the music gained momentum like never before. They spun and jumped and moved their feet quickly in time with the tune.

Finally, it was like they lost control of what they were really doing, and they were moving so fast they couldn't stop, and the music was so loud and so fast and they were moving so quickly and -

And then the music stopped and Lily and James halted abrupted, ending up closer than they had ever been. Their noses were almost touching, James had one arm around her waist, Lily had one hand on his chest, and their hands were clasping each others out to the side. They were both breathing hard, and though only a couple seconds passed, it seemed like forever to both of them.

"Oi, look out for the dancing king and queen over here!"

And then they were back in the real world, Sirius laughing and clamping James on the shoulder, pulling him away from Lily. Mary, Dorcas and Alice pulled Lily away as well, laughing.

"You were brilliant, Lily! I've never seen you look like that before! You looked so - care-free!" Mary exclaimed, but Lily was still out of it, staring at James.

"Don't be so overdramatic," Lily said dazedly, "It was nothing."

"But you and James - you two just looked so . . . perfect together." Alice murmured.

Lily snapped out of it and looked at them, rolling her eyes. "Yes, well, it was just a dance."

"Seemed like more than that to me." Dorcas sang, laughing.

Lily looked over her shoulder and saw that James was already looking at her while Sirius, Remus and Peter were joking with him. She smiled and curtsied somewhat sarcastically and grinned, bowing in the same manner. They shared a smile before Mrs. Natalie dragged her and Dorcas to meet some other people who paled in comparison to James Potter - yes, though Lily was still determined to loathe him, she could at least admit that.

James Potter really was something else.

**XXX**

"You danced like a gazelle, Prongsie!"

"A _leaping_ gazelle that had found it's life-long mate!"

"A leaping gazelle that had found it life-long mate and discovered a giant field of yummy grass to eat!"

"Do gazelles even eat grass?"

"I don't even know."

James rolled his eyes as his friends joked around, but he didn't really care at that point. He danced with Lily Evans - and it was amazing. She didn't even back away or look disgusted. She actually looked really happy. And he was really happy.

He wondered, and it was a _realistic_ thought for a change, if there really might be a chance for the two of them.


	8. An Unpleasant Surprise and Bad News

**Ch. 8 - Darkness Arising**

"Okay so if my scheme works out like it should, we just use the escape plan B, like I _said in the first place_, and we should be able to avoid the Trumpett's _and_ the Bumblee's," Dorcas said as her and Lily hid out in one of the less crowded corners of the room. "So do you remember the plan?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Would I be in trouble if I said 'no'?"

Dorcas sighed. "Just follow me." She muttered and grabbed Lily's hand, weaving her through the massive crowd toward the stairs. Lily didn't really know _where_ they were going, she just knew Dorcas wanted to get out of the ballroom. They probably end up getting caught and brought back in the ballroom, anyway, but Lily knew better than to argue with Dorcas when she had a plan.

"And how exactly are you going to explain to your mum when she realizes we've disappeared?" Lily asked as they went up the stairs, dodging the socializing groups standing there.

"Hopefully she won't notice," Dorcas said, her lips twitching, "I saw her just a couple minutes ago and she's let herself get a bit too carried away with the firewhiskey."

"They're serving firewhiskey here?" Lily asked, baffled – it seemed too unsophisticated to be at a Ministry ball.

She grinned. "Nope. But she and dad always say to bring your own drinks."

They both laughed as they reached the top of the stairs, but it was cut off by a loud crashing from the windows at the right of the ballroom. Lily and Dorcas spun around and watched in horror as cloaked and masked people flew in on broomsticks, curses flying form their wands at threatening speeds. People screamed and started to run towards the exit, panicked. Lily and Dorcas didn't have their wands, leaving them completely defenseless. Lily didn't think it would've mattered if they used their magic in this situation, against –

"Death Eaters." Lily whispered.

"My mum." Dorcas breathed, breaking into a run down the stairs, against the crowd. Lily followed close behind, and a curse flew right by her ear, hitting the person in back of her. Lily flinched and almost lost Dorcas in the crowd, but she managed to push her way to her again. It was getting harder and harder to fight against the swarm of people trying to escape, and she heard screams and shouts of curses and protective charms all around her.

Lily finally caught sight of the Potter's and Sirius, and she saw that the Meadowes, MacDonald's, and Prewett's were making their way to them as well. When Dorcas made it first to her family, her mother cried out and pulled her into a desperate hug.

Mr. Meadowes grabbed his family and started making his way towards the stairs, waving the others along with him. "Come on, we have to get out of here."

The adults shot curses at the Death Eaters, but they were too fast on the broomsticks. Their cackles resonated through the ballroom, audible through the shrieks of terror. Lily spotted one of them kidnapping a woman and hitching her unconscious body to the back of his broom. Lily couldn't imagine what they were going to do to the poor lady.

Lily hadn't realized how far behind she'd gotten from the others and she breath caught as she tried to push her way to her group again. Suddenly, there was a hand at her hair and she snapped her head up and found a masked face looking down at her. She saw the eyes through the holes and could've sworn she'd seen them before – that gleam psychotic joy at someone else's pain –

She screamed out as the Death Eater tugged at her hair and tried to lift her to the broom. The crowd passed her by and Lily was shocked and desperate that not one of them was trying to help her. She supposed that said a lot about the Ministry employee's. Lily grabbed onto the Death Eater's wrists and tried to tug herself free, but they were already ascending into the air.

"Stop fighting me, little Mudblood, or you'll regret it!" the Death Eater shrieked, and Lily suddenly knew who they were –

"_Stupefy_!"

Bellatrix Lestrange flew backwards, taking her broom with her, but not Lily, whom she'd been holding – Lily fell to the ground from where she'd been hovering two feet above, crying out at the pain in her wrist that she'd instinctively tried to catch herself with. Her savior ran over to her, pushing people out of the way and knelt beside her.

She looked up to see James there, immediately taking her wrist and examining it. It was only a second before he murmured, "You'll be fine for now," and then helped her up. He grabbed her hand that didn't have the hurt wrist and they made their way up the stairs again, the flow of the crowd speeding up their departure. Lily caught glimpses of people she knew – the Trumpett brothers looked absolutely terrified and covered their heads as they scampered in the shadows.

James led her toward the fireplaces, where they could floo out of the Ministry, and Lily couldn't have been more grateful to him. Lily looked over her shoulder at who she thought she'd recognized as Fabian. He, his brother, and most of the parents of Lily's friends were some of the few trying to fight off the Death Eaters in the huge round center of the Ministry, and he met her eyes with a fierce determination, yelling, "Go!"

She looked back forward just in time to see James grab the floo powder and shove it into her hands.

"You go first, I'll follow right after you," James yelled over all the noise going on. She hesitated and looked at him, but she pushed her into the fireplace with a "Go, Lily!"

"Potter Manor!" she exclaimed and threw the powder down and she felt the rushing of the floo network, and then she was in the fireplace of the Potter Manor. She stepped out, feeling queasy, and saw all her friends had gotten to the house safely – Dorcas, Mary, Alice, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Frank. She just hoped James wouldn't get hurt before he could floo.

"Where's James? I thought he went back to help you." Sirius said, a worried look forming on his face.

"He coming," Lily said, still breathing heavily from the rush of adrenaline. "He did help me – he saved me from –"

But then the fireplace lit up with the green flames and James stepped out, soot all over his face and his clothes completely ruined. In fact, they all looked terrible.

Lily immediately threw her arms around James instinctively and held him to her tightly. "Thank you, James." She whispered, getting unnecessarily emotional.

He put his arms around her after a moment's hesitation. "You're welcome." He murmured, and she quickly let of him.

She turned back to the others, who were now exchanging stories of what they'd seen and where they'd last seen their family members.

"I saw everyone fighting in the center before I flooed here." Lily offered, stepping into the conversation.

"Everyone seemed fine, granted a few injuries." James added.

"God, we should've guessed they'd be there." Alice breathed, putting a hand to her forehead. Frank put a reassuring arm around her.

"Did anyone see if they got the Minister?" Remus asked, looking between them.

Lily shook her head, along with everyone else, but Frank said, "But I'm sure he's fine – loads of Aurors were there, and they probably swarmed him."

"But that's why I don't really get why they attacked that ball," Sirius said, frowning, "The best Aurors were there, why'd they take that chance?"

"They're too full of themselves, Sirius," Frank said, "I bet Voldemort fills their heads with rubbish like they can do anything, defeat anything. But he doesn't really care if they live or die."

They all remained quiet after that, lost in their own thoughts. Lily hoped everyone else was okay – if one of them was hurt or worse . . . she couldn't even bring herself to think it. But she didn't even know what they'd do. It was too terrifying to think about.

Lily retreated to the couch Dorcas and Mary were also sitting on, and sat beside Mary. Mary put her head on Lily's shoulder and Lily put her head on top of hers, her throat constricting.

"They have to be okay." Mary said, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.

Dorcas grabbed Mary's hand from the other side of her, an odd look of determination and anxiousness on her face. "They're okay, Mary. They're the best Aurors out there."

Mary swallowed and nodded half-heartedly. Lily knew they all doubted it now, with what they'd seen back at the Ministry. The Death Eaters were incredibly talented and the Aurors were very nearly outnumbered, especially with all the people who ran. Lily wished she'd had her wand so she could've contributed at least a little.

Suddenly, Sirius stood, and Lily hadn't realized how worked up he'd become and James grabbed his shoulder, his brow furrowed.

"Sirius, you bloody idiot, listen to yourself. You can't go back! You'd only be distracting them." James insisted, trying to restrain his best friend. Remus and Peter came up beside him to, grabbing his arms.

"I don't know what's gotten into all of you, but I can't _sit_ here while they all risk their lives for us!" he exclaimed, boiling with anger.

"Padfoot, you wouldn't be helping them! You'd be hurting them!" Remus said, trying to get Sirius to listen.

Sirius struggled out of their arms and started to run towards the fireplace, but the rest of the Marauders tackled him to the ground.

"Sirius, you bloody –" James cut off, Dorcas coming over to them.

"Stop! Stop it, Sirius!" she yelled, crouching down to his eye level. He stopped and looked up at her, the anger and frustration still evident in his eyes. "Listen. Listen to me! There is nothing you can do. They're better off without any of us."

The boys got off Sirius when they were sure he wouldn't make a break for it, and he slowly stood, along with Dorcas. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, obviously still bothered. Dorcas brought her hands to his face and gently touched his cheek, and all trace of resentment faded from his face. She then brought his head down to her shoulder and held him to her. It seemed like such a private moment, Lily had to look away, and she tried to catch a glimpse of Mary's reaction to this, but found she'd been sleeping through the whole thing – Mary always had slept like a rock.

Lily sighed and slowly stood without waking her friend, and then draped a blanket over her before turning back to the room. Remus had lit the fireplace, since the others would be Apparating back, and Dorcas and Sirius now sat there, murmuring in low tones to each other. Alice and Frank were snuggling up to each other on the loveseat, and she only presumed the other three Marauders had retreated to the kitchen.

That left Lily alone, which she didn't feel like being right then, so she hurried to the kitchen, where she heard the boys voices. She pushed open the door, and the three looked at her from where they were leaning against the counters – James was actually sitting on the island – not eating anything, which was a first. They probably didn't have much of an appetite – Lily didn't either. She smiled sadly at them and went to lean against the counter next to Remus.

"No, I didn't recognize any of them – they were all masked anyway," James said, apparently answering one of the other two's question. "But I could swear a couple of our fellow peers were with them."

Lily knew he was talking about Severus, but she decided to speak up about her realization back at the Ministry.

"I know who was about to capture me." Lily said quietly.

"Someone tried to take you?" Peter asked, shocked.

She sighed. "It was Bellatrix Lestrange. I know it was. I recognized her eyes – and she spoke, too, which was probably a mistake. But it's not like I have any hard proof to use against her anyway."

"So she tried to take you, and that's why James went back." Remus said in realization.

Lily nodded, looking to James. "Thanks again, by the way."

He shrugged, looking down at his hands. "It was nothing."

She was about to argue, but then she heard a scream from the living room, followed closely by a strangled sob. The four in the kitchen straightened in shock, and then quickly ran out into the living room, where their friends had made a circle around someone. Lily pushed through them and saw James' mum standing there, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm so sorry, Alice." Mrs. Susan said, her voice tight and forced. She put her arm on the girls crouched back and Lily looked at her friend anxiously and then back at Mrs. Susan. Before she could ask what happened, James did.

"Mum . . . What's happened?"

She looked to her son and swallowed, another soft cry coming from her and another strangled noise coming from Alice.

"It's Gideon and Fabian," she answered, "They were attacked, and – and . . . Fabian's in urgent care at St. Mungo's, but – but they don't think he's going to make it and . . . and Gideon didn't make it."

The world spun and Lily wasn't even aware of what was going on around her anymore. Gideon – gone? And maybe Fabian, too? No, that wasn't possible. Gideon had been on her arm only a couple hours ago. He'd been there, where she could touch him, where she could laugh with him and now . . . now he's . . .

Now Gideon Prewett was gone – the first victim Lily actually knew that had been taken by Lord Voldemort.


	9. A Smile and Bright Pink Hair

**Smile**

The last of summer flew by quickly with everyone helping the Prewett's, or helping each other – and getting sleep or food whenever was possible. The teenagers yearned to help with their parents, but the adults strictly said no, assuring them their time would come.

And before James knew it, he was back on the Hogwarts Express to go back to school for his sixth year of education. He still had a dark feeling within him at both the twin's death, but he knew he shouldn't be feeling sorry for him when Alice was sure to be in a worse state, though she hated to show it.

Dorcas, Mary and Lily squished into a compartment with the Marauders simply because no one wanted to be alone – and they'd become somewhat of friends with the girls during their time at James' house. It had happened before James could even digest it, and now he got to have a civil conversation, sit close to, or even tease Lily Evans without her getting angry.

However, none of them talked – it seemed as if they all felt secretly guilty if they should talk about something happy when such dark times were upon them and even darker approaching. Not even Sirius or James dared to break the ice – not yet. They hadn't even planned a beginning of the year prank, which they'd done every year except first year, and James suspected everyone in Hogwarts would know why.

They'd all been silent, absorbed in their own thoughts, until, surprisingly, Remus spoke up.

"We need to plan our prank." He said decisively.

They all stared at him.

"Remus . . . are you sure that's . . . appropriate?" Peter asked hesitantly, frowning.

"Gideon and Fabian wouldn't want us to be like this, all somber and giving up – they were always the joking type, and I'm sure they'd want us to do this. In honor of them."

They all exchanged glances, unsure. Finally, James sighed and nodded. "I think you're right, Remus."

"Me, too." Sirius agreed, leaning his forearms on his knees.

"Guess I'm in, too." Peter said. They all looked to the girls, who'd been glancing between them curiously.

"You're not going to tell on us, are you?" Sirius teased half-heartedly, for the first time in a long time.

"No, of course not!" Mary said indignantly, as Dorcas asked, "Please, don't you trust us?"

They all looked to Lily, who bit her lip. Dorcas smacked her knee pointedly and she sighed.

"Fine. In honor of Gideon and Fabian. What are you planning?"

**XXX**

Right as they got off the train, Sirius and Remus rushed to the castle so they could sneak into the kitchens to make the prank happen (they knew they could get the house elves to help them, because they'd done so before). They took the Marauder's Map with them as well, just in case. They knew they couldn't all go, because it'd look suspicious, so James and Peter got stuck with the job of trying to look normal (which James didn't really have a problem with, seeing as he could spend more time with Lily).

As they made their way up to the castle, they laughed giddily in anticipation of their hastily put-together prank, even Lily. James knew it certainly wasn't the best they could do, considering the time they had to plan it, but it would have to do.

Soon, they were seated in the Great Hall, and Alice and Frank finally joined them, who had chosen to separate themselves for some alone time on the Hogwarts Express. Alice looked a little better, which was a plus, and James only hoped she would understand that the prank tonight was for her brothers.

Sirius and Remus made it in at the last second, attempting nonchalant. James glanced up at the High Table to see if any of the professors noticed, and the only thing that stood out was a slightly amused gleam in Professor Dumbledore's eye.

_Does _anything_ get past that man_?, James thought to himself, shaking his head.

Sirius and Remus sat down, giving the rest of them slightly nods to confirm everything went as planned.

After the first years were Sorted and they all sang the tuneless Hogwarts school song completely off-key (James chose a very screeching high, feminine voice for the song this year), the food finally appeared, what the seven of them had all been waiting for. Lily bit back a grin, Mary covered her mouth, and Dorcas lightly bounced in her place excitedly.

Sirius scoffed. "Amateurs."

James snorted and the rest of them chuckled, except the girls, who made various noises of mock-indignation. They were interrupted, however, when the fun started.

It started with the Gryffindor table, and then moved along to the other Houses – the food before them rose slowly from their many trays and bowls, the students watching helplessly.

There was a moment of silence as the food hung there, and it was filled by some student starting, "What the –"

But it was cut off as, suddenly, the food starting pelting in many different directions, into students and professors' faces, hair and clothes, and exclamations and curses filled the air. Many jumped out of the seats and dove under the table, some tried to catch it with their mouths, and others used their plates or other things as shields – James and Sirius were part of this group, standing on top of the table and making exclamations – "Hiyah!", "Hoo-wah!", "Wah-taow!" – as they slashed and dodged the random foods. Remus, Peter, and the girls did the same, but in a subtle manner, in their seats.

When students started to make a break for it, running to get out of the Great Hall, the teachers finally put a stop to the flying masses of mashed potatoes, turkey, green beans and other such things. Dumbledore stood when the food dropped to the floor, and most students went back to their seats.

"Now that the usual welcoming prank has been established by the mystery pranksters, we can continue our meal," he said a small, amused smile on his face. He clapped his hands and more food appeared, while the remains on the floor and on the walls disappeared. "First years, I welcome you to Hogwarts! As for the rest of you . . . welcome back."

James looked over at Alice, and the smile that was on her face confirmed that she had known exactly who had been responsible and who it was for. She smiled wider at him, and James couldn't remember the last time he felt as elated as he did right then.

Alice Prewett could smile again.

**XXX**

The first day of classes came, and it turned out the girls and the Marauder's had many classes together, much to James' delight (and, secretly, Sirius' as well – well, not so secretly anymore). However, they were all exasperated to have the same Potion's professor again this year – Professor Slughorn, who had to be the most obvious teacher when it came to picking favorites. Unfortunately, James, Sirius and Lily were some of them. He never ceased to invite them to the Slug Club every single time, not matter how many times they refused. Lily usually went, but since Sirius' younger brother and arch nemesis apart from Snape, Regulus, usually went, both boys refrained from going. It also didn't help that neither of them were a huge fan of Sluggy.

They were in Transfiguration when James and Sirius received their first detention of the year.

Sirius nudged James' arm and, snickering, pulled out his wand. He directed it at Snape and muttered something – in an instant, Snape's hair turned from its usual greasy black to bright pink, unknown to him, of course. James and Sirius barely kept their laughing at bay, along with the other students who'd noticed, and McGonagall turned to them with a firm glare. She then scanned the room for what the commotion was about and her eyes fell on Snape. Her eyes widened and she looked back to the boys.

"Detention, both of you. Two days' worth." She said, almost in a routine way.

Sirius frowned with raised eyebrows at James. "Hey, we lasted halfway through the day."

"Record." James sang, and they high-fived nonchalantly.

McGonagall sighed and looked to a still-oblivious Snape. "And Mr. Snape, I suppose I should inform you your hair is bright pink."

Snape grasped his hair and brought it in front of his face, before turning to glower at the two boys, who started laughing again, along with most of the class. McGonagall sent them disapproving glares before she waved her wand and changed Snape's hair back to normal.

Only then did James notice the sad look on Lily's face, where she was twirling her quill in her fingers. Whether it was about Snape and James himself, he did not know, but neither was good.

**XXX**

James caught up with Lily after class and she didn't look particularly happy to see him. He asked her if everything was alright, and she frowned.

"James, simply pulling pranks and bullying are two different things, you know, and –" she started, but James cut her off.

"Lily, that was nothing, and it was Sirius anyway –"

"It doesn't matter who it was," she insisted, "It's bullying, and after last year, I thought you'd realize that that's not funny at all!"

"Lily, it wasn't me –" he tried again, but to no avail.

"Stop trying to justify it, James," she said, shaking her head, and her eyes fell on Snape, who was hurriedly walked in front of them. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

She went off after Snape and James grabbed his hair in frustration, groaning. He had just gotten Lily to tolerate him, and now he'd gone and ruined it! No, really, Sirius had ruined it! But he knew he couldn't blame anyone else but himself. Now, Lily was mad at him, and, what was worse, was currently talking to Snape.

It was not a very good first day.

_A/N: I apologize for my atrocious creativity with the prank. I'd be a terrible Marauder. -_- However, I hope you enjoyed it anyway! In other news, I have exams coming up in two weeks, so I'll be studying my butt off (the reason why this chapters a bit late :/) so, unfortunately updates will be slower until SUMMERS HERE! (Or until the exams are over). _

_ Okay, so thank you for reading, and tell me your thoughts or predictions in a review! _


	10. A Confession and a Silent Treatment

_A/N: Sorry my updates are dreadfully slow – it'll get faster in a couple weeks, when school's over. :/ Anyway, I hope you like it! Feel free to leave me some feedback, if you would like. _

_ Happy reading!_

**So Much More to Me**

"Severus! Severus, wait!"

He heard her voice calling after him, but he couldn't face her, not now. He was still angry about Potter for his little stunt before, and he knew his temper wouldn't be able to be tamed in front of her. He needed the right moment to apologize, but if she confronted him now, he'd lash out –

"Severus, just wait a second." She pleaded, trying to catch her breath.

"Lily, we have nothing to discuss," he said stiffly, "You most obviously don't care about me anymore –"

"That's not true," she insisted, finally regaining her breath. "I would care about anyone who was being bullied, and I talked to James about it after class –"

"Oh, you're on a first-name basis now?" he spat sarcastically, "That's grand."

It was paining him to be so harsh, but he just needed her to leave him alone, just so he could get his thoughts straight again –

"It's not your business, Severus, and for the record, James isn't as bad as you think he is."

"What, so – you're friends now?" he exclaimed, furrowing his brow. The idea was preposterous.

She hesitated. "Well – yeah, but that's irrelevant. I just wanted to let you know that I won't let James bully you or anyone else anymore. Besides, I think he's changed. But still, you used to be my best friend, and –"

"Used to be?" he repeated angrily, absentmindedly taking a step backwards.

She frowned. "I thought you'd understand where we stand after last year, Severus."

"Well, obviously I don't." he replied bitterly, becoming breathless with panic. He couldn't lose Lily. She was the only thing he cared about.

"Well – we're not the same. We're not best friends. I thought you understood that, because I made myself perfectly clear. Now, if you still don't want my help, all you had to do was tell me – politely." She added, somewhat shyly, memories of the year before coming back.

_"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

She closed her eyes against the painful memory and looked back to Severus, who was staring at her with a pained expression.

"Fine," he finally said, "I see how it is. Just run off to Potter then, like you've always wanted to."

The he stormed off, his long cloak trailing behind him. Lily sighed in defeat and didn't bother calling out his name. She'd tried to reconcile to be at least acquaintances and they couldn't even do that.

So, she thought, I guess . . . that's the end of it. I'll never be friends with Severus again.

She watched his back grow smaller and smaller as she suppressed tears, walking back up to the castle dejectedly.

**XXX**

Walking into Defense Against the Dark Arts, her last class of the day, Lily saw the first of Bellatrix Black and her cronies. She'd been anticipating it, and anger boiled in her chest as she slowly sat down next to her friends, deepening her foul mood. She noticed Dorcas frowning at her and Mary was rubbing Alice's shoulder comfortingly – they were all thinking the same thing. What if one of them had killed the twins? They knew Bellatrix had been there, but that probably meant the rest of then, at least Rodolphus was there, too. They were all equally insane – well, Bellatrix and Rodolphus were the king and queen of crazy, though. Rosier, Avery, Mulciber and Wilkes, who were actually supposed to be in this class, were in the girl's year. Being a year above them, Black and Lestrange shouldn't be in the class.

Bellatrix looked up at her, feeling her stare, and then gave her the most twisted sneer Lily's ever seen. She swallowed and looked away.

"Mr. Lestrange, Mrs. Black, don't you have to get to Advanced Potions? Class has already started." The new Professor Rollan said, raising an eyebrow. Lily didn't know how he knew their names, let alone where they were supposed to be, being new, but she supposed he had special skills, considering what she'd heard of his background. She decided she liked Professor Rollan – he was relatively young, and she'd heard he'd been forced out of Auror training because of a severe injury. By the way he limped and the multitude of scars running across his face and down his neck, Lily wasn't sure she wanted to know the technicalities. He had his black hair tied in a ponytail at the nape of his next and he had an air of someone with power, having his hands always clasped behind his back.

Rodolphus and Bellatrix smirked and each other and Bellatrix said, "So sorry, Professor. We'll be on our way."

The two walked out of the room, but not without Bellatrix smirking in their direction again, and then chuckling at the look on Alice's face. Lily was so shocked and enraged she couldn't move for a moment, but then she slammed her books down and stood, starting to follow the girl.

"Mrs. Evans, what on earth is wrong?" Professor Rollan said, surprised.

The silence in the room was thick and every pair of eyes was on her. She pressed her lips into a thin line and looked back to the door.

"Lily." Alice said quietly, and Lily looked at her. She was calm, but had a few tears glistening in her eyes. Lily slowly sat back down and, after a moment, Professor Rollan started his lecture.

Alice grabbed her hand over the table and Lily met her eyes.

"I'm okay." She whispered, though another tear slid down her cheek.

She was okay enough, is what she meant.

**XXX**

"Mrs. Evans, could I have a moment?" Professor Rollan as the students started to trail out of the classroom.

Lily was surprised, but nodded. "Of course, sir."

Dorcas touched her arm. "We'll be back in the common room." She murmured and Lily nodded.

She walked to Professor Rollan's desk, where he was writing something a piece of parchment very carefully.

"Do you want to tell me what that was about?" he asked, actually giving her a choice.

Lily hesitated. "We – my friends and I – just think that Bellatrix Black and her group aren't that great of people – we . . . suspect some tings of them."

He stopped writing and looked up at her from behind his small reading glasses. "Oh? May I ask what, exactly?"

"Well, they're pretty intense accusations." She admitted nervously. What if he sent to her to Professor Dumbledore for such thoughts, even if they were true?

"Nothing will ever leave this office, Mrs. Evans. This is for my personal use only."

Lily still didn't know if she liked the sound of that, but decided to trust Professor Rollan.

"I think that they are working for – for Voldemort," She stuttered, wondering if the professor would scold her for using his name. But he didn't show emotion, and so she continued, "And we think one of them may be responsible for the death of the Prewett twins over the summer."

Rollan raised his eyebrows. "These accusation are intense, indeed. But I cannot say I'd quickly disagree, from what I've seen of the group," he said, and Lily got the feeling he'd seen much more of them than just this first day at school. "He does seem to be recruiting quite young . . . No matter – you are excused, Mrs. Evans. Thank you for your time."

She nodded to the professor and walked out of the room, feeling a little better now that an adult – a capable adult who had connections with Aurors, no doubt – knew of her thoughts.

**XXX**

"I was so close – SO. CLOSE. And then – and then Sirius had to go ruin it by picking on Snivelly! He's not even worth it, Padfoot!"

"Well, I'm so-rry," Sirius said sarcastically from where he was lounging on his bed, "I didn't know your relationship with Evans was at stake, not to mention the end of the world – my bad."

James scowled at his best friend, but before he could snap at him, Remus spoke up.

"Listen, James, Lily isn't stupid – she'll realize that it was really Sirius' fault. She probably just got caught up in the moment," he said, "I'd just give her time to cool off, and, if you need help, I can talk to her during rounds – but only if you really need it, James." He added at the look on his friend's face.

James wrinkled his nose. "But I want her to forgive me now!" he whined, slumping his shoulders.

Sirius chuckled, putting his hands behind his head, and leaned back against his headboard. "Oh, Prongs, you must be patient. Besides, aren't you the one who always says the ladies always come to you?"

"No, I believe that's you," Remus snorted, and Peter chuckled. "But James probably has a similar mindset."

"What are you insinuating?" James asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Yeah?" Sirius added, raising his eyebrows.

"Just that you two are . . . cocky assholes sometimes." He said nonchalantly, flipping open his book.

Sirius and James gaped at each other as Peter broke out in stitches.

"Wow, Moony. I never thought I'd here you say . . . cocky asshole – ever." Sirius pointed out, frowning appreciatively.

Remus shrugged, and didn't reply, but as James climbed into his bed, he said, "Well, I still don't forgive you."

"You will by morning." Remus said airily, turning a page.

James gaped at him again and then scowled. "Why do you know me so well?" he exclaimed exasperatedly.

The three of them laughed, and James just shook his head, plopping down on his pillow.

**XXX**

A week went by, and still Lily didn't speak to James. James became more depressed every day and his pouting was driving his friends crazy. Lily's friends didn't really enjoy her disregard of James, either, since it made it awkward when they still thought of him as a friend.

Dorcas still hadn't given up on her plan to get James and Lily together – it had just been put on hold for a while what with everything going on. She now looked between them and saw the tension between them. She watched as James peered up at her at certain times shamelessly and as Lily glanced up at him inconspicuously a couple times. Dorcas rolled her eyes and kicked Lily under the table. Lily looked up at her with wide eyes and Dorcas canted her head to James with the same wide-eyed pointed glance.

Lily sighed and started to stand when Dorcas slapped her palm down on Lily's hand and whipped her head to James, who was sitting next to her.

"So, James, who are you taking to Hogsmeade?" Dorcas said rather loudly.

James gave her an odd look. "Dorcas, the first Hogsmeade trip isn't for two months." He said slowly.

"Well, I was just wondering if you had any plans on taking anyone." She said quickly, and saw out of the corner of her eye Lily sending her death glares.

"Erm, well, no. Since it's in two months," He added, confused. Then, he looked at her warily. "Dorcas, you're not – asking me out, are you?"

Dorcas grimaced. "You're kidding. No – I was just asking because it just so happens that Lily doesn't have any plans either!"

Lily cleared her throat loudly and hastily stood up, gathering her things. "Oh, look at that, I'm late for – for – yeah, that."

Then, she scurried out of the Great Hall, and Dorcas sighed, plopping her cheek into one hand. James sighed, too, and turned his gloomy attention to his food. Dorcas looked over at Sirius, who was sitting on the other side of her, as he chuckled, putting a hand on her knee.

"It was a good try." He offered.

She shrugged and let out an exasperated breath. "He needs to try harder."

"I can hear you." James noted, pouting.

"Good – then you heard the 'you need to try harder' part!"

"But – but Remus told me to let her cool off!" he said desperately.

Remus looked over at the sound of his name and shrugged at them. "I suppose she's had enough time now, and she's not doing anything. I suppose I could talk to her."

"And in the meantime," Dorcas added before he could get too happy. "You've got to try. She was irritated over summer because she thought you let everyone else prove you were a good person rather than yourself."

James frowned and looked down thoughtfully, but he didn't reply.

"So," Sirius said, smirking as she turned to him. "Do you have any plans for Hogsmeade in two months?"

She smiled. "I can't say I do."

"Well, then, would you like you go with me?" he asked, smirking, and he wondered if Dorcas would say yes even if she knew how nervous he really was.

"I'd love to." She said, smiling, and laughed, turning back to her food with a slight blush.

He took a sidelong glance at her and smiled, relief washing over him. Finally, he could reveal his true feelings for her, after all this time.


	11. An Explanation and a Commotion

_A/N: Gah, I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person. I've just been extremely busy, with finals in May and then I immediately went to FRANCE afterward, which was absolutely amazing, by the way. So, I'm sorry for the terribly long wait, but this one's really long and there's some supa-awesome ACTION. _

_ Happy reading!_

**Must We Go There**

Lily had rounds with Remus that night, and she arrived at the front of the school to see him already waiting there, leaning against the wall. Lily noticed that the Marauders all had a certain stance about them. They were all very different, of course, but they all leaned against the wall like that a lot, or they all seemed to have a mischievous air about them (some more than others, obviously).

She studied him thoughtfully as she approached, and he was staring off into space with a concentrated furrowed brow and his hands in his pockets.

"Something troubling you?" she asked as she stopped in front of him.

He was broken out of his reverie and shook his head slightly. "Oh – blimey, Lily, I didn't even see you coming."

"I realized," she said, half-smiling. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and started walking; she followed him. "Nothing, really, it's just James." He said, and she noticed the slightly pointed tone in his voice.

She raised an eyebrow. "Really. Well, I would know – I haven't talked to him recently."

"Trust me, we've noticed – what with him moaning into his pillow all the time. Sirius says he's 'just going to _Wingardium Leviosa_ his ass out the window until he promises to man up'." He recited respectively, and she laughed, though it troubled her a bit. And the sad part is, the first part isn't even a joke, he thought to himself exasperatedly.

"Well, Remus, you understand, don't you?" she said after a moment, hoping that at least someone would. Her friends were urging her to give Potter a break, but she just – there was something in her that just didn't want to forgive him, because . . . because . . .

"Lily, why don't you tell me what's really going on here?" he murmured after a moment of studying her face discreetly.

She swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut, not thinking about what she was saying as she blurted, "Something in me doesn't want to forgive James, Remus. It's just that I don't want – I don't think I can be friends with him."

"What?" he said – that was not what he was expecting.

"If it was anyone else, you, Dorcas, Alice, Mary, even Sirius – I would've forgiven you by now, of course I would have. And I even know that that stupid thing in McGonagall's class was Sirius' fault, but . . . but with James . . . it's like I'd be watching a nearly six-year battle die, and I'd be . . . the loser." She breathed out the last part, realizing how childish that sounded. She opened her eyes and didn't look at him, ashamed.

"Lily . . . you really need to give him a chance. He's not as bad as he acts sometimes, honest. He just . . . gets flustered around you, and acts stupid."

"Only around me?" she grumbled, wrinkling her nose.

He chuckled. "You have more power over him than you know, Lily Evans. Just give him a chance to be around you more, and maybe he'll become – well, not less stupid, but more used to . . . your charm." He chuckled, knowing his wording was terrible.

She gave him a look, laughing, and then they were both laughing. Lily looked over to him and she realized how handsome Remus really was –

She stopped herself short and shook her head sharply. Oh no, she could not be getting a crush on Remus Lupin. That would just muck her life up, make it more difficult than it had to be. She had school work to worry about, and friends, and – and . . .

But as she caught sight of him chuckling again, probably at her dumbfounded expression, she couldn't help smile back, and she wondered what she had gotten herself into.

**XXX**

James, unknowing that the love of his life was having a realization of a fancy for one of his best mates, was back up in his dorm room with his arm over his eyes as he laid on the bed. Sirius was hunched in a chair, eyes focused on the Marauders Map, and Peter was sleeping in his bed, one arm and leg draping off the side as a line of drool went down the comforter. James peeked at his two friends and rolled his eyes at Peter before sitting up. He waited for Sirius to take notice of his restlessness, but he did nothing, if not pointedly ignore it by giving a little sigh himself, looking to another part of the map. James sighed heavily once again, and he knew Sirius was definitely mocking him when he gave another huge sigh of his own. James glared at him and Sirius glanced up at him, then let out a snort, followed by a long series of chuckles.

"You're pathetic, you know that?" Sirius asked, setting the Map down.

James scowled and ignored him, asking instead, "Where's Lily?"

"You're such a stalker," he muttered, but looked anyway. "Oh, yeah, she's doing rounds with Remus, remember? He told us, but I'm pretty sure you were still wallowing in self-pity at that point."

He rolled his eyes and plopped back down on the bed. "How am I supposed to try harder if she's always avoiding me?" he asked, and even to him he sounded whiny and childish.

"You sound like a child," Sirius sighed, voicing his thoughts. "Just go up to her tomorrow, and don't act like the daft prick you usually are."

James snorted and closed his eyes, more tired than he thought. "Easier said than done, Padfoot . . . easier said than done. . ."

**XXX**

The Marauders were walking down the corridor the next day towards McGonagall's class – late, of course – as they laughed at some joke James cracked.

And that's when things turned around. Remus, who was walking on the end, was knocked into by the passing Slytherin group. Remus stumbled back and tried to join back into his group without James and Sirius noticing the commotion, but it was too late. Sirius had noticed and turned to see that it wasn't just another group of the slimy gits – it was the King and Queen of the slimy gits, Bellatrix and Rodolphus, followed by their jeering cronies. They laughed as the Sirius came to a halt, already seething at the sight of his cousin. Everyone was aware of the rumors spreading of their involvement with the Voldemort character, that didn't seem like he would be slowing down any time soon. In fact, he was getting rapidly more and more popular in the news, and everyone also knew that the Daily Prophet never really gave away the seriousness of these types of problems. No one really wanted to know how bad Lord Voldemort – or 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' as people were calling him – really was.

As all the Marauders stopped and realized what happened, the Slytherins stopped as well, Bellatrix sauntering forward to meet her cousin in no man's land between the two rival groups.

"Well, well, well," she chuckled, her heavily lidded eyes looking over him. "If it isn't my wittle cousin, all grown up. I see you're still just as idiotically noble as I remember."

"I see you're still just as unimaginably psychotic as I remember." He sneered, and her eyes flashed, her arms dropping from her waist and grabbing for her wand.

But then she paused and gave him a smile. "Oh, please, Sirius, don't jump into fights you're not prepared for." She chastised with an edge of real danger in her voice, her eyes darkening.

"Oh, trust me, I've been ready for this ever since summer." He said, reaching for his own wand.

She laughed after a moment. "Oh, yes! You were friends with those obnoxious twins that were so tragically killed," she said, then laughed manically, "Tell, me – how's the sweet little sister doing?"

All the Marauders let out various yells of outrage at this, but Sirius was the one who acted out the harshest, having just been waiting for the right moment – "Impedimenta!" – but Bellatrix was quick, having been waiting for it as well, and easily blocked it, sending a curse his way.

As a full-fledged duel began, the Marauders quickly debated on whether to stop it or not. Sirius would get into Sirius trouble if they were found out, which as extremely likely, but Bellatrix also deserved it. So, they agreed that if Sirius went down, they were all going down with him. They joined in on the fight, first against Bellatrix, who received a multitude of curses and jinxes against the four of them, until the other Slytherins joined in.

Sirius kept with Bellatrix, James took on Lestrange, Remus with Mulciber, and Peter with Wilkes. Luckily, they were an even amount on both sides, and none were outnumbered. Sirius and Bellatrix were practically equal in skill, and they both only received few blows, while Peter was struggling with Wilkes. Wilkes laughed as Peter fell to the ground with a tricky jinx that sent a sensation of spiders crawling up and down his body.

"It's almost too easy." He sneered as he stood over his, lifting his wand to send another curse his way, but James caught sight of this and, instead of firing another hex at Lestrange, he swooped his wand to Wilkes, yelling, "Stupefy!"

Wilkes fell to the ground, across Peter, unconscious. Peter sent James a grateful look and James saluted him with a bright grin when Peter widened his eyes, exclaiming, "James – watch out!"

James looked back to Lestrange, but not in time to block the curse that was coming his way. It hit him with resounding force, sending him flying into the wall behind him. Not only that, but, to the boys alarm, James starting seizing.

"James!"

"You bloody son of a –"

"Peter, get help!"

Remus, abandoning his rather simple duel with Mulciber, ran over to James, quickly followed by Sirius. The Slytherins looked on in quiet amusement. Lestrange raised his wand to take care of the other two, but Bellatrix caught his arm, half-smiling as he watched the boys from under her voluminous hair.

"Not yet, Rodolphus. Not here. Besides, if we finish them all off now, who will there be to stand a chance against us once we're out?"

Rodolphus smirked but his eyes flicked back to the distressed boys, chuckling. "I was only going to have a little fun, Bella, not kill them."

She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Not now, my love."

Meanwhile, Remus and Sirius gave up on trying to revive their friend while waiting for Peter, instead started to carry him to the him to the Hospital Wing. Sirius and Remus didn't know how, but they soon started yelling at each other as they struggled through the main corridor of the school – "Don't drop him!" "Look, Moony! He's bloody foaming form his mouth!" "Where the hell is Peter?" "You're dropping his foot!" "My hands are sweaty!" – and making too much of a commotion, really, not to be noticed.

It was Professor Rollan that ran out of his classroom first, the class following close behind. No doubt this would be the new and very possibly warped gossip of the month.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, what is going on here?" he exclaimed, going over to help them. He used a levitating spell, which was probably a better idea than attempting to carry him, but Sirius and Remus weren't exactly in their right minds.

"No time – Lestrange sent a cruse at him –" Sirius started, but Professor Rollan was already running to the Hospital Wing, a floating James, a distressed Remus, a frantic Sirius, and his excited class following behind.

The four girls were part of Professor Rollan's class – a class which the Marauders were supposed to be in as well – but they were certainly not excited. They tried to push their way up to the front with Remus and Sirius, but didn't achieve in doing so until they all burst into the Hospital Wing, much to Madam Pomfrey's astonishment. She immediately took hold of James and shooed everyone out of the room, except Remus and Sirius, because they'd seen what has happened.

"What happened?" Mary gasped as they were shoved out of the room by Madam Pomfrey – even Professor Rollan – and the big oak doors shut in their faces.

"I don't know." Dorcas whispered.

"God, what if something really bad happened to him, and I never got the chance to apologize for how horrible I've been?" Lily murmured, a surprising but overwhelming sadness washing over her.

Alice put her hand on her friends back soothingly and the four of them sat outside the Hospital Wing while the others filed back to the classroom. Professor Rollan crouched down and studied them.

"I'll excuse you from the rest of them class, but I can't speak for the rest of the teachers," he said, but the look he gave them implied that he thought they should just skip. He sighed and was about to go when he said, "I really hope he's okay, girls. I know you were good friends with him."

Lily swallowed when his eyes locked with hers and she got the slightly annoyed, slightly awed feeling that he really knew too much about everyone's personal lives than was healthy. Then, he stood and followed the class back to the room, leaving the four girls alone to camp out until Madam Pomfrey would allow them to see James.

They didn't talk much.

**XXX**

After the class was rounded out, Madam Pomfrey fired questions at the two flustered boys – what was the curse? They didn't know. How long was he left like this? About ten minutes. Has he ever been faced with anything like this before? Not that they knew of.

As they answered a few more questions, they watched as she quickly checked his fever and didn't look pleased with the result. She then gave him something that would "hopefully stop the foaming" and, thankfully, it did. She then scanned his body with her wand, and Sirius couldn't help but want to scream, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S SEIZING? GIVE HIM SOMETHING!"

Madam Pomfrey glanced at the boys and she flourished her wand, the curtains around James bed closing around them. Sirius lunged forward indignantly, but Remus grasped his shoulder, giving him a weary look.

"Do you want to help him?"

"Yes—"

"Then leave them alone."

And with that, Remus collapsed into a chair, and, after a moment's hesitation, Sirius followed suit.

All they could do now was wait.


	12. Prince Charming & the HalfBlood Prince

_A/N: All I have to say is, thank you to DracoismyBFF, just because you made me laugh out loud and it inspired me to write this whole chapter today for you guys. So thank you. You're awesome. That's all._

_Happy reading!_

**Ch. 12 – Prince Charming and the Half-Blood Prince**

James felt like his body had just been thrown back and forth by a bunch of battling giants and then chucked out to sea, leaving him to struggle to keep air in his lungs for an unknown amount of time. _However_, he did want to know what really happened and where he was, so he forced his eyes to open. It was bright and he made a soft exclamation, putting his hand up to provide protection.

"Mr. Potter! You should not be awake yet!" That was Madam Pomfrey, most definitely. She came into his line of sight and he forced an easy grin onto his face.

"I'm fine, Madam Pomfrey, really." He assured her, but even to him his voice sounded croaked and weak.

"Yes, I'm sure Mr. Potter, now I'm going to put you back to sleep now."

"But what happ –"

But he was already gone.

**XXX**

The next time James awoke, he felt a little better, but not much. He groaned and opened his eyes again, pleased to see the lighting was darker. It looked like it was dusk outside. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, hoping Madam Pomfrey wouldn't put him back to sleep.

"Look, he's awake!"

"James!"

"Prongs!"

And then he was attacked by his three noble comrades, shaking him – which did not feel very nice, mind you – and yelling in his face – which was also not very pleasant.

James laughed at their enthusiasm. "What the bloody hell's wrong with you guys? What happened?"

And then he got both Peter and Sirius' versions of the story in fast, loud, animated voices while Remus stepped back and smirked, probably realizing that James needed his space now, the good chap.

"And then you started seizing –"

"And I yelled, 'PETER, GO GET HELP!' – right hero I was –"

"And then I got McGonagall, but we were a little late, and she was in here when you were asleep –"

"And then Remus and I dragged you in here and Professor Rollan . . ."

James tuned out his friends good-naturedly, getting the gist. Bloody Lestrange. He'd get that bastard back.

"How long have I been out?" James asked hoarsely, cutting them off.

Sirius frowned. "Oh, I dunno . . . about a day and a half. We stayed the night."

James was surprised and was about to thank them when the doors burst open, and Madam Pomfrey was pushed aside by Dorcas, Mary, Alice – and Lily. James grinned at them, giving them a wink, as they were held off by Madam Pomfrey – "He needs to rest girls." "They get to stay in here!" "Well, they're his friends –" "We're his friends too!" "Oh, alright." – and then they ran over to him. Dorcas actually jumped onto his bed, wrapping her arms around his head. However, much to his glee – not that he'd show it, of course – Lily took his hand in hers. Mary and Alice took their place at the foot of his cot as he tried to struggle out of Dorcas' vice-like grip.

Madam Pomfrey almost had a heart-attack. "Miss Meadowes! Please remove yourself from Mr. Potter's neck this instant!"

She grudgingly got off and went to her knees beside his bed instead, giving the mediwitch a false smile. Madam Pomfrey allowed them to have some alone time, and then the girls begged for the story. The other three eagerly told their parts again as James looked on, mostly at Lily, who hadn't let go of his hand. He watched her awe and horror with a serious expression, studying her. She looked tired, and supposed they four of them stayed the night as well, which overwhelmed him with gratitude. He had better friends than he gave them credit for. His girlish, overwhelming fuzzy feeling was furthered when Lily suddenly looked over and smiled, squeezing his hand. He didn't know why, but he smiled back nevertheless, trying not to look too taken with her. Merlin knows he's made a fool enough of himself. What did this hand-holding business mean anyway? Was he forgiven now or what? Well, he was going to treat it like he was. He'd take any chance he got.

"Well, James? How do you feel?" Mary asked expectantly, and he guessed that wasn't the first time she asked.

He looked up at her and sighed. "I feel fantastic." He lied. He felt like rubbish, and he could see they knew it, too.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes, as convincing as _that_ was –"

"Alright, kids, that's quite enough," Madam Pomfrey fretted, walking briskly out of her office. "Mr. Potter needs to rest some more, and you lot should get back to classes."

Sirius gave James an exasperated look which he chuckled at and his friends obediently filed out of the Hospital Wing, though Lily stayed behind inconspicuously, holding up a finger to an impatient Madam Pomfrey. James raised an eyebrow at her as she rushed over to his side and sat beside him.

"James, I'm so sorry I've been so rotten lately," she said in a rushed, quiet voice, taking his hand again. "I don't know what came over me, thinking I had the right to put that on you like that. It was wrong, and I'm sorry. I don't have much time with Madam Pomfrey breathing down my neck, but I just needed to get it off my chest, because – because if something had happened to you, I don't know how I would've ever lived with myself, and I guess it was a lesson that the great things or great people you have right in front of you could slip away at any moment, and you won't ever get to say what you really. . . ." She blushed and glanced away. "I'm rambling, I'm sorry. I just –"

He grinned, laughter bubbling in his chest. "It's alright," he assured her, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. "I like it when you ramble."

She scoffed and took her hands out of his, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Well, thanks, charming, but it's not one of my best qualities. Now rest already, would you? I don't know if Hogwarts could survive without the head prankster."

James snorted and was about to reply when Madam Pomfrey called Lily's name testily. She sighed and nodded to the mediwitch before looking back to James.

"I've got to go. But get better soon, you git, for Merlin's sake," She muttered distractedly, picking up her bag, and he chuckled again, putting his hands behind his head in an arrogant manner. She glanced at him, then did a double take, rolling her eyes. "Typical."

But he could hear the laughter in her voice.

**XXX**

Severus Snape had heard of the incident in the hallway the day before and could not say he wasn't pleased with it. Hopefully Potter's ego had been knocked down a notch, but he knew better. Potter would always be the pathetically egotistical, self-important prick he had always been. And what made it worse was that Lily had waited outside the Hospital Wing for him – overnight, too. How pathetic. He still had his spell over her, and it killed him to watch.

He sighed and continued to write in his Potions book, revising the idiots who'd written it. If they'd only experimented a little more, they'd see all the things they missed and all the things they could've improved.

He shook his head and leaned over to scribble the proper way to prepare the Draught of Living Death. _Crush with flat side of silver dagger, releases juice better than cutting._

"Severus."

Snape looked up to find Lestrange leaning over him, and he quickly closed his book, raising a bored eyebrow at him.

"Lestrange."

"You've made your decision then?" he inquired, ignoring Snape's cold reply.

_Like I had a decision in the first place_, he thought dryly, standing to meet eye to eye with his superior when it came to the Dark Lords inner circle – which he seemed to tumbling deeper and deeper into every day, without being able to stop. It was like a never ending black hole, that just got darker and darker as he went through, but there was no going back. Did he even want to? Being on the Dark Lord's side was surely the winning side, and what was the harm in that, choosing the side that allowed him to be powerful, allowed him to be everything he'd ever wanted to be?

_But killing people? Innocent people?_, that persistent voice in the back of his head murmured, and he shook his head sharply. No. This is what he wanted. To be the best wizard he could possibly be, and being with the Dark Lord granted him that.

If only he could convince himself he was doing the right thing. Something Lily Evans would be proud of.

"Yes, Lestrange. I will help with the plan." He said quietly, sitting back down with his Potions book, the only thing he found comfort in nowadays.

Lestrange smirked down at the frail boy, nodding slowly. "Good." He said in his resonating, low voice.

And then he left the pathetic boy to his pathetic book, hopelessly grasping at his pathetic life. Even if the boy did not want to be on the Dark Lord's side now, he didn't have a choice – unless he chose death.


	13. Fun in the Hospital Wing and a Kiss

"_Pressure pushing down on me… It's the terror of knowing/What this world is about/Watching some good friends/Screaming 'Let me out'/Pray tomorrow - gets me higher/Pressure on people - people on streets…" – Queen_

**Ch. 13 – Under Pressure**

The Slug Club was, more or less, a way for Professor Slughorn to ostentatiously dote over his students and show off his connections, all the while embarrassing himself in a painful way to watch. At least, that's what Lily thought. So she didn't necessarily know why she still went. She supposed she was quite soft, and didn't want to hurt the old man's feelings. He usually invited the Marauders, minus Peter – poor Peter – but they always declined. Lily had a feeling it was because Sirius' younger brother Regulus was in the club, and, like most of Sirius' family, he wasn't the best lad to be around. Sirius hated his guts, and therefore the rest of the Marauders hated him too.

But no matter, Lily didn't talk to Regulus anyway; she just would've appreciated the Marauders company – the ones who weren't hospitalized, that is – as she made her way to the ridiculous 'party'. She grumbled incoherently as she walked down the hall and struggled with her stupid dress. Slughorn said 'dress nice' because it was the first meeting of the year. Well, here she was, looking 'nice'.

She'd been in a rather rotten mood lately, and she didn't know why. She refused to associate it with James not being around to annoy her, because it was really that simple – he annoyed her. Even if she did tolerate him nowadays, he was still annoying. But every time she explained this to her friends, they just smirked and asked who she was trying to convince.

That was exactly why she didn't tell them about her little fancy for Remus – they'd just giggle and make jokes about James' broken heart. Well, she wasn't going to have it. She'd keep it to herself for now.

"Lily? Hey – Lily!"

She turned and saw – oh, the irony – Remus jogging toward her, looking quite 'nice' himself.

"You aren't going to Slughorn's party, are you?" she asked incredulously, chuckling as he caught up with her.

He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets in that way that he does. "I just figured you might need someone to come save the day if you got stuck talking to one of those snobs in there. It's a dangerous place."

She laughed, her stomach fluttering, and she blushed lightly. She willed herself to stop acting like a child and cleared her throat once it was silent. The party was just at the end of the hall. They were nearly there.

"Well, I'm afraid I've had my share of these ridiculous things. It's not that bad if you just pretend like you're looking off into space, thinking of something really important." She laughed, and he laughed, too, which made her stomach do somersaults and her heart do jumping jacks.

They made it to the door and she almost gratefully went through it. But then that feeling was crushed when she saw the usual suspects at the Slug Club, all milling around with Slughorn's 'notable' guests. There was Kaitlin Poseby, a very rich and very ill-mannered Hufflepuff whose mother ran the Department of Magical Transportation at the Ministry. There was Christopher Hawkins, just as rude, whose father played for the Falmouth Falcons, a rather violent Quidditch team. Then there was Regulus Black of course, and many other people that weren't worth mulling over.

She sighed and turned to Remus. "I really don't know why I go to these things anymore –"

"Miss Evans! Oh, and Mr. Lupin, so nice of you to finally join us!" Slughorn chortled, waddling over to them. The buttons of his felt green suit jacket looked like they were about to burst and the man who he'd just been talking to was watching him go with pity. Lily heaved a sigh and Remus laughed quietly, nudging her.

"It's our pleasure, Professor." Lily said in her suck-up voice, smiling.

Slughorn's cheeks were already rosy and Lily suppressed yet another sigh. "Oh, stop it, Miss Evans, you're too kind."

"Well, I am very thirsty," Reus said after an awkward moment of silence of Slughorn swirling the alcoholic beverage in his glass contentedly. "Lily, shall we?"

"Yes, of course." She said immediately, granting Slughorn a quick smile.

To her delight, Remus put his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the drink and food table, and leaned down to her ear. "Suck up." He chuckled.

She grinned up at him cheekily. "Five years of practice at its best, Lupin. Watch and learn."

**XXX**

The only thing that redeemed the endless hours of boredom in the Hospital Wing was the absence of homework. Though it was still the beginning of the year, Minnie didn't mind loading on the essays staring from the first day.

So, naturally, James spent his time doing obnoxious things in order to entertain himself. There were some other kids in the cots close to him, and he used this to his advantage. First, he started humming a tuneless little song, much to the irritation of his fellow peers.

"Hm-hm-hm . . . hm-_HM_-HM-hm! HM-_HM_-_HM_-HM! _HM_ –"

"Will you shut it, Potter?" some black-haired Slytherin finally hissed form his place two down from him.

James put on an affronted expression. "Fine." He muttered.

A couple minutes later, he glanced over at the Slytherin boy and smirked.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"

"What?"

"Nevermind, it's gone now."

James barely contained his laughter at the gullible frown on his face. He knew that if Lily were seeing this, she'd surely give him a frightening look, but he was just so bored.

A minute later, James again exclaimed, "DO YOU _HEAR_ THAT?"

"_What_?"

"Oh, it's gone now."

The black-haired boy gave him a wary look and went back to twiddling his thumbs. James pressed his lips together to hold back his laughter and thirty seconds later –

"_DO YOU HEAR THAT_?"

"_WHAT_?"

"It's gone now."

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Thatcher – that is quite enough!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, sticking her head out of her office.

"But _he_ –"

"Enough!"

The Slytherin glowered at James as he was in stitches laughing, and he huffed, turning his head to look out the window. All was quiet for a good amount of time, and the Slytherin thought he could finally have peace. Then –

"Hey, do you hear that?"

"I'm going to kill you."

**XXX**

Severus Snape was deep in thought. Two things usually occupied his mind at all times: his clumsy entrance into the inner circle of the rising Dark Lord, and his hatred for James Potter. However, this night his mind was on something else.

Werewolves. And Remus Lupin.

He'd always vaguely wondered about Lupin 'mysteriously' getting sick once every month, right around the time of the full moon. He was surprised no one else had noticed – he was so blatantly _obvious_. Snape just had to make sure, he had to be positive.

Just a few more pieces to put together, and he would be able humiliate the Marauders just like they'd done to him countless times.

**XXX**

It was very, _very_ unlike Remus to get drunk, and to his credit, it was sort of an accident. Slughorn 'trusted' the members of his little club with alcohol, and so like the bright chap he was, he left the bloody thing out on the table. So Remus had accidently poured it in to his and Lily's glass. And then again. And then again, and so forth that he lost count. He supposed he was too engrossed in his and Lily's banter to notice the taste. And only after the third did he realize he was getting tipsy, and was too far gone to care at that point. Lily was, too, he supposed, because soon they started laughing harder at nothing, really, and they started leaning on each other. He presumed that it didn't take much for either of them to get drunk. And they really were not acting like their mature responsible selves at all. Remus was aware that he – dear Merlin – was acting like James or Sirius, but worse. And that was bad, because Sirius and James were both very rambunctious and irresponsible and sex-driven. What was worse, he very well knew that James wouldn't like the way he was looking at Lily.

"I'm bored." Lily pouting, hanging on his arm. Strands of hair had fallen from her bun and her dress strap was hanging off her shoulder.

"Me, too," he agreed, frowning, "Wanna get outta here?"

She mumbled her agreement and, saying a drunken goodbye to a drunken Slughorn, they stumbled drunkenly through the door, laughing once again at nothing in particular.

"You know what Severus says about you, Remus?" Lily said as they struggled down the hall.

"Hm?" he prompted, trying to clear his mind to remember which way to go.

"He says that you're a werewolf because you get sick every month, but I don't think so, I think it's fine that you get sick every month, okay? It's fine." She assured him, patting his chest.

Remus 'pssh-ed' and chuckled nervously, his drunken stupor making it difficult to keep up his guard. Luckily, Lily dropped the subject, becoming interested instead in how amusing their shoes were. Remus joined in and they made their unsteady way to the portrait hole, snorting and laughing in a very unattractive way.

They stopped outside the portrait hole, still laughing and somehow Lily ended up in his arms – she probably tripped or something – and she looked up at him with a big grin. Then, his smile slowly faded and he brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"You're very pretty, Lily." He murmured.

And then her lips were on his and it happened so fast that Remus wasn't even aware that returning her kiss and pressing her up against the wall was a bad thing – until he did, a bolt of ice-like sobriety shooting through him.

He stumbled away and his eyes widened. "Oh, no." he groaned.

"What?" Lily asked. "What's wrong?"

"Lily, I can't." he said, banging his head against the wall.

"What, is it James?" she gasped, her brow furrowed. "Remus, you don't think he honestly cares about me, do you? It's just an infatuation!"

Remus could hear the slur in her words, but knew that that was what she really felt, and it saddened him, the feeling intensified by his drunkenness.

"Lily, James truly does care for you," Remus protested, limply shaking his head. "He's always cared for you the moment he laid eyes on you. And it grows every moment he sees you, every moment he's around you. So don't think any different."

And with that, he climbed clumsily through the portrait hole, leaving Lily to ponder and work through Remus' words through her intoxicated haze.


	14. A Date and Angsty Teenagers

**Ch. 14 - Sit There in Your Heartache**

When James was finally able to leave the hospital wing, he never could've been happier. Yeah, not having homework was nice and driving that Slytherin bloke crazy was pretty bloody funny, but he was ready to go back to pranking and asking Lily Evans out again.

The rest of the school was just getting out from dinner when he was walking down the hall with a new bounce in his step and he caught up with his fellow Marauders easily.

"Good evening!" he exclaimed, grinning, and they looked at him in surprise and slight unease.

"Oh! James! Hi!" Sirius exclaimed, too loudly.

James raised his eyebrows. "What the bloody hell's wrong with you?"

"Er, James," Peter muttered, "Lily sorta got asked out to Hogsmeade next week."

"What? By who? Did she say yes? When?" he bombarded them, panic rising in his chest.

"Well – James – it just happened, and you should _stay calm_, alright?" Sirius urged him, "It was . . . it was Steven Smiley."

"St – Steven Smiley?" James repeated quietly.

" . . . Yeah . . ."

"What did she say?"

"Erm . . ."

"She said _yes_?" he nearly screamed and they all made various exclamations of surprise.

"James! Stay calm!" Sirius exclaimed.

"But he's a – he's a Hufflepuff!" he yelled, tugging on his hair. "And – and I – I love her!"

"Oh, James, shut it, mate," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "You're being over dramatic. Just ask someone else."

"I don't _want_ to ask someone else."

"Maybe it'll do the old trick and make her jealous?" Peter suggested half-heartedly.

"Why in the hell would she get jealous?" James grumbled, "She's obviously fine with Smiley. And I mean what I creepy name, am I right? He's just so creepy. And who cares if he's a year older? I can be mature. _I can_, guys! Maybe I should ask another girl out. I mean, I've seen Lola Fairfield checking me out lately –"

"Very gentlemanly, James." Peter snorted.

"Well, it's true. Remus, why are you being so quiet?" James asked suddenly.

Remus snapped his head up to him. He seemed to have been in deep thought. He shook his head distractedly. "Just tired, Prongs."

James paused, then shrugged. "Alright then. So I think I am going to ask Lola out, I mean she _is_ pretty smokin', and then I could just look really good that day, you know? I mean, I hope my hair doesn't act up too bad. . . ."

**XXX**

Remus was afraid he'd never be able to look James in the eye again. He'd been released from the hospital wing only a couple days after his and Lily's kissing episode, and they'd agreed to not tell James about it for fear of his reaction. But Remus wasn't so sure he was cut out for it. He couldn't just stand there and be his friend with what he did to the girl he loved on his mind.

He just wasn't that kind of person. And he knew the truth would come out eventually. It was just waiting for the worst possible moment.

**XXX**

Lily must've been out of her mind. She must've been out of her mind to kiss Remus like that – well, she _was_ intoxicated – and she must've been out of her mind to accept Smiley's offer to go to Hogsmeade with him. Steven Smiley had his name for a good reason – his smile never left his face, and Lily was sure she'd go blind if she had to endure it for a whole entire date.

She had tried to convince herself that she was trying to try and date around, but she knew deep down that it was a vain attempt to make Remus jealous. It was horrible of her, and she hated that she was acting like a child. If she fancied Remus, she needed to go up and tell him, not play a school girl's games.

Also, she didn't want to admit it, but another part of the reason for accepting was because of James. She didn't want him to think her apology was some grand gesture of love, because Merlin knows he had a knack for over exaggerating things, and – and she just couldn't deal with it all.

She just wondered how long it would be until she would explode. So she could set up her schedule accordingly.

**XXX**

Sirius had been expecting this. James had stayed up nearly all night jabbering and plotting and whatnot, and now they were at breakfast the next day and he just sat there pouting like a child.

Sirius gave a very amused chuckled and leaned over his food with his elbows on the table. Dorcas sat beside him (and Lily across from her, who was quite sheepishly ignoring James' stare) and turned to him with a curious expression.

"And what are you laughing at?" she asked, smiling.

He bit his lip and shrugged. She gave him a look, and he relented, nodding his head to James. She leaned over him and snorted at James, who was stuffing his face shamelessly.

"Ah. It's Smiley then, is it?" she murmured, and Sirius nodded. "You know she doesn't really like that bloke, he's ridiculous. Something's going on with her that she won't even tell me."

Sirius frowned thoughtfully. "Those two cause so much drama it's bloody insane."

They both laughed into their hands, and James glowered at him. "What's so funny?" he asked, his cheeks full of food.

Sirius leaned over and muttered, "Man up and talk to her, Prongs. Don't make me call you what I'm thinking."

James glowered at him even more and Sirius barely held his laughter. "Go on then." James urged defiantly.

"James –"

"No, no, it'll probably make me do it. Say it."

Sirius pursed his lips to keep his laughter under control, but when James punched his arm, he looked at him with raised eyebrows and mouthed, "Twat."

James gaped at him in disbelief. "You son of a –"

But then it was time for first class and Sirius bolted out of there with Dorcas right behind him, but not before giving him a meaningful look. He and Dorcas fast-walked out into the corridor, laughing, and then Sirius slipped his hand into hers, flashing her a smile. She looked surprised but then smiled leaning herself against him with a chuckle.

**XXX**

"Lily. Lily!" James exclaimed, but she was ignoring him, so he had to catch up with her.

He caught her arm and she turned to look at him. "James, I've got to get to class." She said, not meeting his eyes.

"So is that apology null and void now? You're just going to ignore me again?" he inquired, with more anger than he thought he was holding in.

She met his gaze in shock. "No, of course I meant my apology, it's just – I'm sorry, I didn't want you to be upset."

"You mean you didn't want to deal with me being upset." He clarified. He was acting more bitter than he meant to.

"Listen, James, it's just a date, and it's not like you have any say in who I go out with anyway –"

"But it's Steven Smiley, Lily! What are you thinking?"

"He's _kind_, James –"

"He's a Hufflepuff!"

"What the – what is that nonsense about Hufflepuffs? They're just as much of a House as Gryffindor, Potter –"

"Oh, breakin' out the surnames now, are we?"

"Oh, stop being so immature!"

"Me? You won't even tell me why you would _ever_ consider Smiley –"

"I _tried_ to, but it's none of your business anyway –"

"But you could do so much _better_ than him, Lily –"

"Like who? _You_?"

There was a silence and James stared at her blankly. "Am I really that bad, Evans?"

"No, James, no," she whispered, her eyes watering as she reached out and touched his chest. "I didn't mean it. You're wonderful, you really are, and any girl would be lucky to have you. So why don't you chase after them?"

And then she walked away, clutching her books tightly to her chest. James stood in the middle of the now empty corridor, battling the urges to get out of there and go after her. But more so, he was trying to ignore the way his chest throbbed. Was there really such a thing as a broken heart?

_A/N: Bit of a corny line there at the end, but you know, you need one every once and a while in these romances. Hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think!_


	15. Sighs and Smiles

_"I'm in love with a girl who's in love with the world and I can't help but follow . . ."_

_Amos Lee_

**All You Wanted, I Could Be**

The days flew by leading up to Hogsmeade, filled with a lot of downcast eyes, pouting, and rolling of the eyes (which mostly had to do with Sirius and Dorcas, who thought this whole thing was ridiculous), until finally it was the day before, and Sirius, Dorcas and Remus were sitting by the fire. Dorcas was curled up next to Sirius and Remus was doing his homework studiously in the armchair. The main reason for the three being alone together was Sirius and Dorcas' lame attempt at spy-work. They knew something was going on with Remus, and they guessed it had a lot to do with James, with how much Remus had been avoiding him the past couple days. James had noticed and actually asked Sirius to do something about it, so here he was, being a loyal friend and peacemaker.

"So, Remus." Sirius started pointedly, and Remus glanced up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?" he asked with an undertone of impatience.

"Has something been . . . bothering you lately?" he asked nonchalantly. Dorcas suppressed her giggles into his shirt and he nudged her arm with his hand.

Remus put down his essay he'd been reading and narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. "What's this about, Padfoot?"

"Listen, I've noticed how you've been acting weird around James lately, and I want to know what it's about." He admitted lightly, giving him a challenging look in case he wanted to try and deny it.

Remus hesitated, then sighed. "Sirius, it's . . . complicated."

"C'mon, Remus, if it's really that bad, we won't tell him." Dorcas assured him.

Remus scoffed. "Oh, believe me, it's that bad. Worse than that bad."

Dorcas and Sirius exchanged a glance. "Well, I've always been a fan for some juicy gossip."

"Shut up, Sirius."

"Sorry."

Remus then delved into his story of Slughorn's lame party and his and Lily's drunken kiss, leading to Dorcas' vacant expression and Sirius' raised eyebrows.

After a long awkward silence, Sirius said lightly, "James is going to chop you into tiny pieces in your sleep."

"Aw, Sirius, come on." Dorcas said, hitting his arm.

"Sorry," he muttered, and then said, "But Remus, seriously, he's going to go mad."

"I know," he groaned, rubbing his hands on his face. "That's why I don't want to tell him."

"Oh, Remus, you have to tell him," Dorcas insisted, "If you don't, it'll eat you and Lily alive. Speaking of, I can't believe she didn't tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"Speak of the devil." Sirius murmured as Lily walked up with a smile.

"What are you guys talking about?" she asked.

"Erm . . . I sort of told them the truth." Remus admitted, and Lily blushed furiously.

"But – but –"

"Don't worry, we won't taddle." Sirius said.

"But you two are going to have to tell him eventually." Dorcas said, giving her a meaningful look.

"But don't you think we're blowing this way out of proportion?" she asked with a nervous, hopeful chuckle.

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks.

"Nope."

"Absolutely not."

**XXX**

"What about at the Christmas Ball, then? C'mon, just to give 'em a little scare? Plenty of time to plan."

"Are you completely daft, Mulciber? Not at _Hogwarts._ Dumbledore would see it coming a mile away."

Snape walked into the Slytherin common room to the usual group of his housemates – they usually kicked everyone else out – and sighed. He didn't know what the point of these little meetings were anyway. It was like they liked to believe they had this illusion of power which they didn't have.

They all looked up at the sound of the large dungeon door closing. Lestrange smirked.

"Ah, Snape. So _nice_ of you to finally join us." he said.

"Yes, well, I rushed here as fast as I could of course." He muttered, and he realized his mistake when he saw a flash of startling anger in Lestrange's eyes. He'd actually been in the library researching his latest project of finding proof of his Remus Lupin being a werewolf theory and put off coming back to the common room as long as possible.

"Let's just get back to it already." Avery grumbled, looking between the two.

"And what exactly are we planning here?" Snape asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

"All in due time, Severus," Bellatrix said with a slow, sultry smile. "All in due time."

**XXX**

"Wait, Filch is down that hall. Other way."

James, Sirius and Peter could _barely_ fit under the invisibility cloak, but if they crouched , turned their heads a certain way and got completely too close for comfort, they managed. Sirius had the Map up to his nose, because that's all the space they could afford as James led the way in pathetic little shuffles.

"We really need to get a bigger one of these." Peter grumbled.

James snorted. "Good luck finding that."

A howl broke through the quietness of the castle and James swore.

"Gotta get a move on," Sirius muttered, "You know, I think we can afford to show our feet. We'll know if anyone's coming, remember?"

James was still a bit wary, but he relented, and they broke into a run at their regular heights, gratefully relieving the tension in their muscles.

"Merlin, Wormtail, stop breathing so hard, your breath smells absolutely _horrid._" James complained, grimacing.

"I'm sorry," Peter huffed, "but it's a little nerve-wracking when we're late!"

"We'll be fine, Pete, we've done this many times before, or have you forgotten?" Sirius said, jabbing him with his elbow.

"Sorry." He muttered.

Finally they came up to the Whomping Willow and they gratefully took the cloak off.

"Time to go kick some werewolf boo-tay!" Peter exclaimed, and the other two shushed him hastily, but couldn't help laugh at his lame joke.

Peter grinned and changed into rat form, scurrying forward to petrify the tree. James and Sirius shook their heads.

"Remind me why we hang out with him again." Sirius chuckled.

James smirked. "Because he says stuff like that."

They both laughed and changed into their Animagus forms as well. Time to kick some werewolf boo-tay indeed.

**XXX**

"So . . . what you're trying to tell us is that you _fancy_ Remus?" Dorcas repeated, waving her hands around. She couldn't _believe_ Lily had kept this from them for so long. This was quite the predicament that she'd gotten herself into. How the hell did she do it anyway? It seemed like her 'get-Lily-and-James-together' scheme could just go right down the drain now. She heaved a huge sigh. Lily and Remus . . . ? No, it just wouldn't work. Not that she'd tell Lily that, but – the two were too much alike.

"Er . . . yes . . ." Lily replied meekly. They were all piled on top of Dorcas' bed, which they all barely fit on.

"But – what about James?" Alice asked, frowning.

Lily glared at nothing in particular. "How many _times_ – we're just friends!"

"Okay, okay, we get it," Mary said before she could get riled up. "But James _doesn't_ know about this yet, right?"

Lily rubbed her arm. "No." she said in a small voice.

"Oh, Lily," Alice said, putting her chin into her hands promptly. "This is a mess."

"Tell me about it," She grumbled, "Well, what should I do?"

"Listen, Lily, I think you just need to be honest with everyone," Alice said immediately, giving her an empathetic look. "I know it's hard, but it needs to be done."

"Definitely. Or it's all going to come back and bite you in the arse." Mary said.

Lily sighed. "You're absolutely right. I'll tell him tomorrow then."

"Who? James or Remus?" Dorcas said, slightly wry.

Lily rolled her eyes with a slight smile. "Both, I suppose."

"But tomorrow's Hogsmeade, Lils," Alice pointed out, "You're going to be with Smiley the whole time, right?"

Lily gulped. "Hopefully not. Remind me why I accepted that again?"

"Lily, you _do_ know that James asked Lola Fairfield to Hogsmeade, right?" Dorcas asked with a raise of her eyebrows. "So tomorrow's not going to work."

"He asked Lola Fairfield out?" she gasped, gaping. "But she's such a – a –"

"Whore? Yeah." Dorcas said dryly.

"Merlin," Lily muttered, looking down. "_Lola Fairfield_?"

The other three exchanged wry smirks. Mary thumped Lily on the head with her pillow.

"Jealous?" she asked with a grin.

Lily laughed and grabbed her pillow, too, whacking Mary with it. "_No_!"

Then ensued an extremely enthusiastic, embarrassing pillow fight, which they probably took way too seriously, considering none of them would be satisfied until they had the last hit.

**XXX**

The next morning, Lily woke up relatively early from not having a very good night's sleep. She kept having the same dream, of herself getting incinerated by Smiley's frighteningly white-toothed grin. She grumbled to herself incoherently as she got ready for the day and walked down to breakfast. Barely anyone was in the common room, as they were probably taking advantage of sleeping in before the big day at Hogsmeade.

However, there was one of the three people occupying the room that caught Lily's eye. James sat there bent over a piece of parchment, his tongue sticking out slightly between his lips in fierce concentration. She studied him for a while, debating on whether to go talk to him, and then just thought, _Bollocks_, and went for it. She would just act like they were friends, which they were – but just pretend like there was no tension between them whatsoever. Maybe if she pretended like it was gone it would just . . . go away.

She perched herself on the arm of the couch he was sitting on and he looked up, his glasses too far down his nose. He rubbed his eyes and then pushed them up.

"Lily?" he said groggily.

"How long have you been up?" she asked, chuckling.

"Oh, um, for a while. It's just I haven't looked at anything but this piece of parchment for a good two hours."

"What are you doing anyway?" she asked, leaning over to peek at the parchment.

"Oh, it, uh, Quidditch plays, actually." He said, looking almost embarrassed, and she smiled slightly at his frazzled expression.

She turned her eyes to the intricate sketches of Quidditch plays, much too complicated for someone of her level of knowledge of the sport to understand, and she raised her eyebrows, spreading the numerous pieces of parchment out with one hand. There must've been more than twenty.

"James," she said with a breathless laugh. "This is amazing."

He tugged at his hair and chuckled nervously. "It's – nothing. Just something I do for fun."

"Well, I'm thoroughly impressed," she said with a smile. "Why are you up this early anyway?"

"Oh, I couldn't sleep." He admitted, gathering up his sketches and shoving them in his Potions textbook.

"Nervous for your date with Fairfield?" she joked and he glanced at her, a slow smile growing on his face.

"You heard about that, did you?" he chuckled.

"I did," she said, "And I must say I'm a little surprised. She doesn't have the most admirable morals as I'm sure you're aware."

"Yes, well, at least she won't be piercing me with her laser white teeth the entire time." He said coyly and she gaped at him through her smile.

"Okay, alright, I'll admit Steven smiles a bit too much –"

"A _bit_?"

"But at least he didn't get caught in an empty classroom with a seventh year."

"That wasn't _that_ –"

"We were in third year."

He paused, then laughed. "Touché, then."

"Look, I'm just teasing you, I hope you have fun." she said, half-sincerely.

He raised an eyebrow at her and nodded. "Likewise, Evans."

She paused, and thought how opportune a time this was to just tell him, but then she just asked, "Well, I'm going to get breakfast, care to join me?"

"Ah – I would, I really would, but I've got to wait for Remus to wake up. He's not feeling too well today." He said, genuinely looking like he was upset about it.

Lily frowned. "He's not feeling well?" she repeated absentmindedly, "That's too bad."

"Yeah, well, we just think he's gone brain-dead from far too much studying." He joked, grinning.

She laughed and shook her head, standing. "Well, send him my 'get well' wishes, yeah?" she said, backing up towards the portrait hole.

He smiled and nodded, heading towards the boys dormitory stairs. She sighed and built up her courage, finally admitting, "James, there's actually something I've been wanting to talk to you about."

He frowned indifferently, backing up off the steps. "Alright then. Go ahead."

"Lily? You're up?"

Dorcas came down the girls dormitory steps and glanced between the two, probably figuring out what she'd interrupted and mentally cursing herself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?" she said nervously, retreating upstairs.

"No, it's fine, Dorcas, I've got to go check on Remus anyway," James said, and looked to Lily with a dashing grin. "Rain check on that breakfast, Lily? Oh, and we can talk later, alright?"

Lily nodded and managed what felt like a queasy smile. He nodded and took the stairs two at a time. Lily turned to Dorcas with an exasperated expression.

"What superb timing you have!" she hissed, stomping out the portrait hole with Dorcas trailing behind her.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she pleaded, pouting her bottom lip.

Lily sighed, rolling her eyes at the sight. "I can never stay mad at you." she grumbled and Dorcas grinned, tackling her in a hug.

"I'll be more careful next time."

"Yeah, whatever."

_A/N: Sort of a filler, but I still had fun writing it. And there's some James and Lily alone time in there, which is always fun. Don't worry, people, they'll get there eventually. _


	16. Doomed Dates, Dark Magic and a Sad James

"_The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."_ – Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

**Dreadful Dates, Dark Magic and the Oh No Moment**

"Hey – you better not pull any fast ones on Dorcas, Sirius. I'll be watching."

"Must you be so creepy? Jeez. Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Nope. You're stuck with me forever."

"For the love of – I'm leaving this weird little rendez-vous. Don't stalk us just because your date's rubbish, Prongs!"

James scowled as Sirius left the boys lavatories in the Three Broomsticks and sighed. His date with Lola was not going as well as expected. Yeah, the snogging was good, but not the _entire time_. He knew he couldn't stay in his hideout much longer without being obvious, so he mussed up his hair and glared at his reflection before he turned to leave the toilets.

Right when he opened the door, Peter was coming in and James grinned, slapping his friend on the back.

"Hey, Wormtail! How's your date going?" he asked, thankful for the distraction.

Peter shrugged sheepishly. "Alright, I guess. She looks kind of bored."

"Pete, I told you, you actually have to _talk_. Be more confident, mate."

"I know, I know. Hey, did you see Lily's face when she saw you snogging Lola? It was priceless." He laughed, and James' glee could not have been more obvious.

He beamed and grabbed Peter's collar. "_Really?_ Explain to me what she looked like!"

"James, you're pathetic," he sighed, laughing, "She just did a double take and looked really shocked."

"Jealousy, maybe?"

"Don't push your luck, Prongs. Hey, isn't your date waiting?"

James' face immediately drooped and he dropped his hands from Peter's robes. "Yes." He said flatly.

Peter snorted and pushed James towards the door. "Go on, then."

James rolled his eyes and hoped he was smooth enough to weasel his way out of this one.

**XXX**

Lily really didn't know how she got herself into these situations. She sighed again as Smiley, in his desperate attempt at conversation, kept talking. It seemed to her she always ended up with blokes like this, but, granted, this one _was_ her fault. She gazed around the Three Broomsticks and looked to James and Lola's table again. He'd been gone from their face-sucking session for quite a bit now and the perfect blonde-haired Lola was starting to look impatient, examining her nails. She saw James exit the boys' loo with an odd expression on his face – dread, maybe?

Lily smirked. "Lola's not so perfect now, is she, Potter?" she muttered.

"What was that?" Smiley asked, and she jumped slightly.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Sorry, go on." She urged, but a slightly depressed look formed on his face, and it was like a miracle – his smile was gone.

"Lily? Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked seriously.

She hesitated. "I do owe you the truth, Steven, and if I'm being honest –"

"No?" he guessed, smiling bitterly.

She smiled back, and he sighed. "You know, I'll be honest as well. I sort of just wanted to make this girl jealous. Daniela Kimble, if you know her."

Lily chuckled. "I sort of did the same thing." she admitted.

"Trying to make James jealous, eh?" he guessed, grinning.

Lily was startled. "Why does everyone think we have some sort of secret relationship?" she scoffed.

Steven raised an eyebrow. "Well – Lily, I don't know about everyone else, but I've always thought you two would end up together. You just seem perfect for each other – and I'm not even into that 'true love' rubbish. Plus, you've been glaring over at his table for the entire time we've been here."

Lily frowned. "You make a good case, I suppose."

He laughed, and she joined in half-heartedly. "Look, Lily. If you haven't come to terms with – and please don't take offense – your almost-obvious feelings for him, I would do it sooner rather than later, before he finally gives up on chasing after you."

Steven's words sunk in and she furrowed her brow, looking over to where James was subtly sidling his way out of the Three Broomsticks and away from an extremely angry-looking Lola.

**XXX**

Five minutes later, after saying her goodbyes to Steven, she jogged out of the Three Broomsticks. Better to catch James alone and tell him to the truth now rather than later. She stopped in the chilly fall weather and looked around, wrapping her scarf around herself.

She caught sight of Remus walking into one of the stores and called out his name. They really needed to talk before she made her confession to James.

Remus looked to her and smiled, waving. She jogged over to him and asked, "Could I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course," he said and they started walking. "What's going on?"

"I just . . . I need to tell James soon, Remus," she admitted, "I don't know about you, but I can't stop thinking about it. And I don't know if we should do it together or what, but either way, it's going to be terribly difficult. I mean, we're going to get trapped into having to tell him soon and that's really not good."

"I know, I know," Reus sighed, "Look, I think we should meet with him tonight and tell him. The sooner the better. And if one of us ends up getting trapped by themselves with him and ends up telling him, that's okay, too, because I for one am running out of willpower here. We just need to be prepared. We need to tell him it was nothing, that it was a drunken kiss –"

"Did it mean nothing to you, Remus?" she asked quietly.

He looked taken aback and took a while to say, "Lily . . . we can't – I can't . . . I could never do that to James, you must know that. We're friends, Lily, and we cannot be more. I'm sorry."

Lily's breath caught and she was about to say something when she heard a scream to their left. She whipped her head around to see a horrific scene. Mary was being suspended upside down by Mulciber, Avery snickering right behind him, and Alice screamed at them to stop, starting to pull out her own wand. She saw James come out of one of the stores to the left and run towards the scene, his wand already out. Lily took out hers as well and sprinted down the street, Remus right beside her. When she got closer, she saw that not only was Mary levitated, but her eyes were rolled up to show the whites of her eyes and she was shaking.

"Mulciber, let her go!" James yelled furiously, putting his wand up to Mulciber's neck.

Lily, Remus and Alice went up behind him, glaring fiercely. Mulciber grimaced and hesitated only a moment before he lowered her to the ground, completely dropping her a foot from the ground. Alice immediately rushed over to her side, but Lily and Remus stepped up beside James, so the two of them would be outnumbered if it came to that. Mulciber and Avery glanced at each other and sneered.

"_Get out of here_." James said darkly.

When they started to retreat, Lily quickly rushed to Mary's side as well. She knelt and put a hand to her friend's pasty cheek and felt it was scorching and damp. She was whimpering, her eyes flickering beneath her closed lids. Lily put a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, Mary." She whispered.

James and Remus came over and knelt by her and James put his hand on Mary's. "We need to get her to Madam Pomfrey right away."

Lily nodded. "We'll take care of it – you go up to the castle and tell one of the professors."

James looked to her and nodded, turning and running towards the castle. Lily met eyes with Alice and saw she was nearly bawling. Lily took her hand and Remus rubbed her back.

"Alice, Mary's going to be okay. I promise you. Don't be frightened." She whispered.

Alice nodded and Lily could see her trying to keep it together. She knew Alice was still fragile, and it was hard for her to see a loved one even close to harm. Lily had to be the strong one this time.

**XXX**

Madam Pomfrey had rushed Mary in and started working on her immediately. Mulciber and Avery were sent into Professor Dumbledore's office and none of them had heard any further news. The rest of them stayed outside the hospital doors the rest of the day and into the night. Dorcas had felt incredibly guilty for not being there for Mary, but Lily assured her there was nothing she could've done to help further.  
>Of course the whole school had heard of it by then and there were crazy rumors going around everywhere – or so Peter reported when he went to get some food for them. People said she'd grown a head of a donkey and other rubbish like that, and hearing this only irked the lot of them more than they already were.<p>

When it was getting considerably late, Dorcas had curled into Sirius' side and started to sleep as he stared out the window in thought, Alice and Frank – who'd joined them later in the evening – were murmuring in low voices to each other, and that left Peter, Remus, James and Lily – except Remus went to fetch some more food for Frank and the Marauders who were up, who ate like animals, and Peter had fallen asleep in the fetal position long ago. Lily was actually quite tired as well and ended up dozing off on her own shoulder, but kept startling awake when she'd start to fall over. James chuckled at her efforts and she glared playfully at him.

"You can lean on my shoulder, Evans," he offered, "Don't be shy, I don't have coodies."

She rolled her eyes with a slight smile and leaned her head on him obligingly, finding his warm body immediately comforting.

"How was your date with Lola?" she asked in a whisper, though she already knew the answer.

"Alright I suppose," He murmured, "A bit too much snogging and not enough socializing, but, you know, you get what you get."

She smiled and admitted, "Mine with Smiley didn't go too well. It turns out he was trying to make someone jealous by asking me."

"You're kidding," He said, sounding miffed. "That son of a –"

"James, it okay," she laughed quietly, "I guess we sort of had the same idea."

There was a silence in which Lily turned extremely red from the certain miscommunication that was evident and James' face sported an extremely confused but hopeful expression.

Dammit. She was stuck, just like she and Remus had talked about earlier that day. She had to tell him now.

"James, it . . . isn't what you think." she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

"What do you mean?"

Dread filled her and she had the sudden urge to cry. She took a deep breath. "I should've told you sooner."

"Told me _what_, Lily? Look at me." He said softly, and she bit her lip, lifting her head reluctantly.

"James . . . I don't want to hurt you," she whispered, "but I have to tell you the truth. . . . I sort of – for quite a while now, actually – I've sort of . . . fancied Remus."

He looked shocked, and after a moment, said, "_What?_"

"And – and one night when you were in the hospital and we went to the Slug Club, we got extremely drunk – it was completely stupid of us, and . . . and we kissed. I don't know why it was so important to me, but I thought you should know."

Lily caught a flash of the pain in James' eyes, but he quickly wiped his face clean, He looked away and he asked flatly, "And he didn't tell me this himself, because . . . ?"

"I beat him to it, James, that's all – you have to understand, though, it was nothing, we were intoxicated –"

"Listen, Lily," he said in a low voice, "I know I can be overbearing. And I have no business being hurt about who you fancy or who you're dating, since you've made it clear on multiple occasions what you think of me –"

"Stop it, James." She whispered.

"What happened between you and Remus is none of my business either," he continued, "And if you truly do like him – we can be friends, alright? If that makes you two happy."

And as he looked into Lily's eyes, she saw what he been professing in what she'd thought been a joke for years – he actually cared for her.

Lily swallowed and looked down, shaking her head. "James, I . . . never really knew you really cared for me. Everyone else told me it was true, what you felt, but I never really believed them."

He stared at her for a moment and she looked back up at him. "You do now." He murmured.

Then, Remus came up the corridor at the worst possible moment, holding baskets of food. He walked up to them first, and asked, "Food?"

Lily looked up at him with sad eyes, and his eyes widened as he looked between them. "Oh, no."


	17. Struggling Perspectives and Wise Words

_A/N: I saw the last part of the Deathly Hallows at midnight last night (I dressed up as Bellatrix)…and it was…beautiful. No words can describe that feeling. It was just an awesome experience. Of course there were some parts taken out and whatnot, but overall it was a fantastic movie. I think it might even be the best one, in my opinion. God, the Snape/Lily part KILLED me. I'm a J/L shipper, but that was simply heart-wrenching. Did you all see it at midnight? What did you think? Okay, I'll stop babbling now, sorry for the long author's note! I thought it was I order though. :) _

_So I dedicate this to J.K. Rowling for giving us this fantastic world and to everyone's who's ever loved Harry Potter. He will always be with us._

**Struggling With Perspective and Wise Words **

James really tried to keep it together for Lily. But it was different with Remus. He couldn't stop seeing him with her, kissing her, like he'd imagined for so many years – couldn't help feel the ugly green head raise its head when he thought of Lily dreaming of Remus and not him –

His frustration and anger reaching a boiling point, he lurched forward and tackling him to the ground, James struggling to hit him an any way and Remus struggling to get him off. The rest of them cried out and started to try and pry James off, but of course it was Sirius who succeeded in the end, pulling him up with one hand by the back of the shirt.

"James, what the bloody –"

"Did you know about this?" James exclaimed desperately.

Sirius looked shocked, and then sad recognition lit his eyes, which was enough for James. Sirius let him go and James looked at all of them.

"You all knew?" he chuckled bitterly.

Their pained faces looked back at him with pity he did not want – even Dorcas and Sirius; they'd all known. Then, Peter raised his hand uncertainly.

"I didn't know." He offered.

"Neither did I." Frank added half-heartedly. They would've been quite a comical sight had he not been so angry.

"James, you're blowing it out of proportion –"

James turned on Remus. "Oh, am I?" he exclaimed and went forward to punch him again, but Sirius held him back.

"James. James, listen to me," Sirius said in his 'big brother' voice. "We're going to talk about this later, because right now, there are more important things to worry about. How about Mary in the next room, huh? This little piece of drama is nothing when compared to what she went through. Think about that."

Sirius' wise words sobered James up and when he let him go once again, he just felt drained and didn't want to see any of them except Mary. Luckily, at that moment, Madam Pomfrey came out and said they could come visit her if they wished – she was awake, but barely.

"I wouldn't let you see her at his hour, but I know this lot won't leave until you do, and you've got to get in your own beds! Merlin, two of you have been in my care so far this year." She fretted as they walked in.

"Yeah, some Slytherins have taken a specific liking to us." Sirius said, smiling at her bitterly.

Madam Pomfrey looked troubled at that, but they were at Mary's bed then and she still looked pale and clammy, but she smiled weakly at them.

"Mary!" Alice gasped and rushed to her side, taking her hand in hers.

Lily stepped forward and sat by her as well. "How do you feel?"

Mary chuckled hoarsely. "Like rubbish, honestly."

They all took seats by her bed, and Alice asked, "You do remember what happened, don't you?"

She nodded, rubbing her nose. "Unfortunately."

"We reported them, Mary," Remus assured her, "They should get what they deserve."

James glared at Remus and he could tell he was pointedly avoiding his gaze. Mary looked between them and asked, "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

"Later, Mary," Dorcas said quickly, "For now, you should rest."

Mary still looked troubled, but Madam Pomfrey took that moment to urge them to bed. The group, the tension thick between them, left the hospital, and started toward the Gryffindor common room.

James went the opposite way of the others, just wanting to be alone, but Lily caught up with him and grabbed his arm.

"James, don't be like this." She pleaded. "Just – let's talk about it."

James glared at her. "I want to be alone, Lily."

Lily sighed and turned back to the group, who stood uncertainly at the end of the hall, but then she turned back to him with a determined look on her face.

"Unfortunately, I can be just as stubborn as you, and I'm not leaving." She said in that voice that meant she was getting what she wanted.

Damn it all to hell. He still thought that as extremely adorable.

James made an annoyed and kept walking, but didn't bother arguing. He glanced back at Lily discreetly to see she was waving Remus off, who had been walking towards them. He caught her mouthing, "My turn now, your turn later!"

James sighed. Wonderful, two torturous speeches in one night. Lily caught up with him and he felt her staring at the side of his face intently.

"We're just friends, James. Remus and I." she noted, looking forward again.

"Are you?" he murmured.

"Yeah, James. We were drunk. And we didn't think of how it might hurt you –"

"Lily, you don't need to do this." He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What? What are you talking about?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to be embarrassed by what he was about to admit.

"It's just – Remus! I just feel betrayed because . . . because he's _heard_ so many times! How much I care for you, how much I've always wanted to be with you! And then . . . and then he goes and . . ." he sighed in frustration. "I'm just so _tired_ of it. I'm _tired_ of feeling like I have no chance with you and feeling crushed every time you go out with another boy or reject me or –"

Lily threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm _so sorry_, James," she said in a fierce whisper, "You're my _friend_ and I never should've done that. It's not what friends _do_, even if I wasn't in my right mind."

James was shocked. He put his arms around her as well with his brow furrowed. She sounded so genuine about it, it was startling.

"Lily . . . Lily," he said, and she lifted her head to look at him. He couldn't get over how beautiful she was. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have overreacted like that. I suppose we both sort of screwed up."

She chuckled and pulled away, rubbing her nose. "Me more than you. James, I really am –"

"I know, Lily. Let's just get back to the common room before Filch catches us. Or worse, Mrs. Bloody Norris."

**XXX**

"Mulciber, you bloody idiot! How could you be so daft, you _fool_? You disobeyed me!"

The usual group of Slytherins lounged in the common room and watched as Mulciber and Avery got chewed out by Lestrange for the past hour. Snape sighed and rolled his eyes, resting his head in his hand in boredom.

"You _both_ disobeyed me and therefore the Dark Lord!" Lestrange nearly screamed. Mulciber and Avery just stood there like the brainless bums they were. "Don't you remember? I'm the only one who is officially one of his followers! _I have the Mark._ I report to the Dark Lord. And I won' hesitate in telling him all about this."

Then, he swept upstairs to the boys dormitories and it was finally over. Bellatrix, with her usual sensual slink, slid from the couch and sidled up the stairs, as well, leaving Snape, Wilkes and Rosier with the two idiots.

Snape sighed. "Well I certainly have better things to do than sit around and watch you two look _stupid_."

With that, he stood and walked out of the common room to the library, where he had been spending most of his time lately. Partly because he took refuge there from his fellow Slytherins and partly because of the werewolf project – but he was so _sure_ Remus Lupin was a werewolf, it was hardly necessary. And he knew Potter and his friends did something with him to keep him safe. He just needed to find out what.

He would have to follow them once the opportunity arose. Hopefully sooner than later. But knowing Lestrange, he'd be keeping a close eye on his little pawns, and unfortunately, that included him.

**XXX**

James couldn't sleep that night. He was too restless and couldn't stop wondering what the right thing to do was. He squeezed his eyes shut, and it conversation with Remus slithered into his mind again.

_"I really just want to go to bed, Remus."_

_"Please, James, can you just hear me out? And then I'll let you think this all over."_

_James sighed and turned back to him, locking his jaw. "Go on then."_

_"You have to believe me, because I mean every word. I do not have romantic feelings for Lily. She is a wonderful friend, and I care for her – but I would never in my right mind do this to you. I'm sorry, it was unlike me to get drunk – and maybe I just react so poorly to it that I just do stupid things. And I'll keep that in mind, but you have to know, it was – nothing. But you if you want a good punch, take a swing, go ahead. But know I have no intention of taking this any further, or anything of the sort. And I am so, _so_ sorry if you feel I betrayed you."_

What more could James ask for, really? He even granted him a punch (though he didn't take it), but both of them were being so _nice_ about it, it was hard to sulk. And he knew they were telling the truth, he knew he had no right to even be angry because Lily was not his, and he knew he should just let it go.

It was just hard to actually do it.

**XXX**

"Lily, I'm going to tell you my theory, and you're going to be so mad at me, but I'm going to tell you anyway."

Though everyone was extremely tired, Alice had been persistent in bringing Lily into the empty common room for a chat. Lily had agreed, although reluctantly, because she knew it was going to have something to do with a certain messy-haired boy, whom she did _not_ want to talk about at the moment.

Lily looked at her warily. "Alright." She said slowly.

She took a deep breath and looked into the flames from where they were sitting on the couch. "Okay, here goes . . . This thing with Remus – I think it's sort of a decoy for caring for James. I think you can't even admit to yourself, much less us, much less to _him_, that you do not loathe him as you once did. People change, Lily. People aren't as they seem. James is a prime example of both. You've changed him, really. James is a wonderful person, and if you keep pushing him away, soon he's going to relent. And if you keep pushing it with Remus, you might end up with a relationship with empty feelings, not that Remus would do that to James anyway, which it another thing. You don't really think Remus would betray James like that, do you?

"Listen, all I'm saying is I think you've been on boy overload, and you should just take it easy for a few weeks. Just be _friends_ with the. Then figure out what you feel. I suggest getting to know James, because he may seem like a good bloke now, but I have a feeling –" she said, lowering her voice in an excited whisper, a sly glint in her eye. "—when you get to know him, he's even better."

Lily's eyed were wide with astonishment from Alice's speech – she spoke wisdom beyond her years, and it was a fresh breath of air for Lily. Everything was clearer where it was muggy before. She just needed to be friends with them – because friends accept each other for the way they are, good and bad. And if she was friends with James, she'd have to accept both sides of him, the one she'd focused solely on for all those years and the side she was just beginning to see.

Lily took a deep breath and she smiled a small smile, leaning over and giving Alice a hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"No problem, dear," she murmured, chuckling, "No problem."


	18. A Celebration and the Dark Truth

_A/N: I'm really, really enjoying writing this story now, and I'm putting all my other fics on hold for a while as I obsessively plan this one out. :) I hope you guys are enjoying it, too! I really like this chapter – think Lily really grows stronger in it. I think she was still a bit of a little girl before this point. So anyway._

_Happy reading!_

**A Celebration and the Dark Truth**

And friends with them Lily became. James, Lily and Remus were eventually able to be around each other without it being extremely awkward, and they got on with their normal lives, minus the ridiculous drama. Of course, the Slytherins were still a pain in all their arses, but they refused to lower to their level. However, Sirius and James vowed that if they ever tried anything else, they'd regret it.

Sirius and Dorcas were an official couple by the beginning of December (it'd taken some encouraging from both the female and male parties on both, because of their 'being a couple is overrated' nonsense), and Lily had never seen Dorcas so happy, or Sirius for that matter (he'd also toned down the cockiness, and, of course, quit the frequent flirtations with other girls).

Lily hadn't seen much of Severus at all, nor his friends. Not that she particularly wanted to, but it made her nervous. She just hoped he wasn't up to anything fishy, because it always ended up badly when he tried to do anything of the sort. Although, Mulciber and Avery had been suspended from Hogwarts for a month after what they did to Mary, who'd healed rather quickly considering the amount of Dark Magic that was used upon her.

Despite the fact, Lily herself was happier than she'd been the entire year. She was very thankful for Alice's wakeup call, and she was more successful in general now. She was doing well in her classes, still had time for her friends, and even went to each of the Quidditch games this year, unlike the previous years. She'd never really fancied the sport, but since many of her friends were now on the team, she made it a point to always go.

Therefore, she was making her way down to the Quidditch pitch with Mary, Alice, Frank, Remus and Peter in the freezing December weather. They were discussing how Gryffindor was surely to win because Ravenclaw's seeker was injured and they had to use a backup.

"I mean, Linton's good, but the Gryffindor seeker's definitely better," Frank said.

"A good thing too, that Barker's out – he was an aggressive player, wasn't he?" Mary asked, frowning.

"Yeah, but Lingly could take him," Remus pointed out, "And if he can take Barker, he can definitely take Linton. I mean –"

Then, Wilkes, Rosier and Snape walked by, bumping into Remus and Lily – who were on the ends – on their way around them. Wilkes and Rosier snickered, but Snape just made cold eye contact with Remus. It gave Lily the shivers. She tried to catch his eye desperately, to convey her worry through her gaze, but he only glanced at her briefly before turning forward with his friends again.

"Watch where you're walking, you bloody –" Frank yelled, but Alice cut him off by putting her hand on his arm.

"We don't need to satisfy them with a reaction, Frank," she murmured, glaring at them, "It'll only cause another pointless fight."

Remus glowered at them. "They're lucky James and Sirius aren't here. They don't' have quite as good of tempers."

He and Frank glared, Peter looked a bit sheepish and the girls looked wary. This feud was becoming more heated than was necessary for school rivals, but Lily knew that once they were out of school, the Slytherins would be on one side and they would be on another. It wouldn't seem so pointless then.

**XXX**

The defeat of Ravenclaw was celebrated by a huge party in the Gryffindor common room that night, and James and Sirius even managed to sneak firewhiskey in – how they did this, she would never understand.

Lily was sitting on the couch and was having a pleasant discussion – over the much-too-loud music – about an assignment Professor McGonagall assigned with a fellow classmate, Tom Jerry, when James plopped on the couch next to her.

"You're talking about _homework_?" he exclaimed exasperatedly, and Lily could tell he was a bit tipsy. She shared a knowing glance with Tom and he left with a nod and a smirk.

"Do you have a problem?" she chuckled, studying his flushed cheeks and lazy posture. Yes, he was definitely a bit intoxicated, but Lily wasn't going to touch the horrid stuff – she learned her lesson about what it did to the innocent drinker.

"Yes, in fact, I do," he slurred, "This is a _party_, Lily, and I will _not_ allow you to talk about such depressing things."

Lily couldn't stop giggling at him and she nodded. "Alright, I understand. It won't happen ever again."

"Good," he said pleasantly, then seemed struck by an idea. "Come dance with me!"

Lily glanced behind her in horror at the group of people dancing and shook her head vigorously. "No, no, no, no, no –"

"Come on! We were pretty good at that Ministry Ball, remember?" he said, a twinkle in his eye.

"James, that was _different_ –"

"Come on." He demanded without her consent, grabbing her hand and dragging her from the couch.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, _no_ –" she repeated as he forced her to the group of dancing people and immediately started twirling her around. After about five seconds, she couldn't help but laugh and play along. That's what happened when you hung out with the Marauders – you just started to go with it.

"Oi, not the dancing king and queen again! They'll blow us all out of here!" Sirius yelled, grinning as he and Dorcas passed by them.

They laughed and James shoved his shoulder, but then continued their ridiculous, and quite frankly, _terrible_ dancing. Lily laughed again and looked up at James, who was busy doing an intricate, solo dance move that he probably would not have done had he been sober (or maybe he would've), and the thought suddenly occurred to her that she was so _happy_ to have James in her life, that she'd finally let him in. Without him, she'd still be the uptight, goody two-shoes Lily Evans. He put the fun into her life that she'd been missing out on for sixteen years, and she would be forever grateful.

Her thoughts were interrupted as he grabbed her hand and spun her again, and she laughed whole-heartedly, hoping her life would stay this blissful.

Of course she was wrong.

**XXX**

Lily rushed along the main corridor towards Transfiguration, a rare moment when she was not with her friends due to her running back to her dorm to grab her forgotten textbook. When she was halfway there, Sirius came up from behind her, nearly giving her a heart attack – of _course_ he was skipping class – and he started talking immediately, like he'd been with her the whole time.

"Hey, Lily, I was wondering what I should get Dorcas for Christmas since it's coming up, but I didn't want to actually ask her, 'cause I thought that'd be lame, so I was wondering –"

"Yes, I'll help you, Sirius," she chuckled, "Just stop talking so fast, you're giving me a head ache."

He laughed and opened his mouth to say something, but they heard the familiar cackles of Bellatrix Black from the one of the smaller hallways beside them coming up. They both frowned and walked forward silently, peering around the corner to see Black and Rodolphus Lestrange levitating two first year boys in circles above them, their yells for help silenced.

"Get a professor." Lily whispered, her mind already planning.

"No, I'm not leaving you." he scoffed, "You go, I'll –"

"What? Fight them? Because that worked so well last time." She hissed, looking up at him. "I know how to handle this. Just hurry."

He was about to argue, but she gave him her best authoritative look, and he sighed, running towards McGonagall's room. Lily immediately dropped her things and pulled out her wand, rushing into the corridor.

"Put them down." She demanded, and the two looked over at her with maniacal looks on their faces.

"Oh, Evans the Mudblood," Bellatrix sang, letting the first year fall to the ground with a strangled scream. Lily went to help the small boy, but Lestrange stepped in her way. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Put him down, Lestrange. Gently. Don't you think you've done enough?" she spat, glaring at him. Lestrange regarded her with a frighteningly light expression, then let the boy go without looking, just as roughly as Bellatrix had. The two boys ran forward and Lily knelt down, grabbing them by the shoulders.

"Go to Madam Pomfrey. Tell her what happened. Hurry." She whispered to where the other two couldn't hear.

The two ran off with frightened expressions, and she hated to leave them alone, but Black and Lestrange were hardly just going to let her run off now.

Lestrange chuckled and sidled forward, starting to circle. "Aren't you curious as to _why_ we were being so . . . what would you call it? _Mean_?" he murmured in her ear with sick amusement. "Their blood – it was like yours."

Lily suppressed a shocked gasp and grimaced, turning her face to look at him. "You're _disgusting_. Both of you. Muggle-borns and half-bloods alike are just as capable as you, and most are _far_ better people. Your _master_ is a murdering psychopath." she hissed venomously.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU SPEAK OF HIM, YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD!" Bellatrix screamed, running forward. "_CRUCI_ –"

However, before anything could happen, McGonagall appeared in the corridor then, her wand drawn.

"Black, Lestrange – your wands. _Now_." She demanded curtly, and the two looked at each other with sneers. Lily actually thought they would try to fight her when none other than the Headmaster of Hogwarts walked into the corridor as well.

"Good afternoon, Miss Black, Mr. Lestrange." Dumbledore said, but without his usual pleasant twinkle. "If you would please come with me to my office, I have some things I would like to discuss with you."

Lily knew they wouldn't dare try to do anything to Dumbledore, and they reluctantly followed, throwing their wands at McGonagall as they passed. Both gave Lily the filthiest glares she'd ever received as they walked from the hallway, and she shivered slightly. She knew she'd pay, one way or another. But it was worth it, to help those little boys.

"Miss Evans, are you alright?" McGonagall asked, walking forward to put her hands on Lily's shoulders.

Lily nodded, her brow furrowed. "Yes, Professor. I just – don't understand."

McGonagall sighed. "Some students in the Slytherin House have been corrupted and brainwashed, Miss Evans, and I am very reluctant to inform you that many other things – more horrific things – are going to happen that you do not understand."

Lily was shaken to the core by McGonagall's words, and was surprised to find she was moved to tears.

McGonagall looked down at the young Gryffindor with pity. None of the Hogwarts students truly knew the horrors of what the Wizarding World was facing these days – they knew only the rubbish the Daily Prophet put out, with was only a _fraction_ of the crimes You-Know-Who was committing. Then McGonagall did something very out of character, and took the young Miss Evans in her arms as she sobbed quietly. Hopefully this would be a wakeup call for her. Hopefully she would warn others.

A war was coming, if it had not already been thrust upon them.

**XXX**

Lily had relayed the story to everyone a number of times, and James was worried at the look in her eyes lately. A hollow, depressed fog where there had been a light sparkle before. He wondered what possibly would've happened that she wasn't telling them, because he knew it wasn't just what had happened with Lestrange and Black. She'd dealt with them before. Therefore, when everyone else had gone to bed and there were only a couple more people meandering around the common room, James took a seat beside Lily, and studied her as she gazed into the fire.

He didn't even have to say anything before she murmured, "McGonagall said something to me. And it has really scared me up until now, because I'm ready to accept it now. I'm ready to fight for what I think is right," She looked at James and a strong, somehow calm determination now filled her eyes. "You-Know-Who is stronger than the Prophet lets on, I know you know that, and I know Black and Lestrange and those others, even Severus, are his followers. I know they're out killing Muggles – and probably Muggle-born wizards and witches now – every chance they can get. And I'm ready to fight for them, to protect them. I can't just sit around and act like it'll pass anymore. It's time I accept the truth."

She turned her face back to the fire and slipped back into her own thoughts again. James had never felt so impressed with anyone before, and felt another painful swell of affection for her. He wanted to take her in his arms, to brush her hair out of her eyes, to kiss the living daylights out of her, but he knew now was most definitely not the time.

So he just turned to the fire, too, and sat there with her, hoping she understood that him staying with her meant he agreed whole-heartedly.


	19. One Faulty Kiss and One Flawless Kiss

_A/N: A couple things. This one is pretty important, and a lot of people have been asking me this, so I'm gonna put it in bold, 'cause I can: __**This story will be relatively long, because I am going into their seventh year. I will possibly go out of Hogwarts, too, it just depends on how this story stand afterwards. This is a rough estimation—it will possibly be around thirty chapters. I'm really not sure at this point, though.**_

_ So there. And if you want to see an super awesome Harry Potter video look up Marchin' On|Harry Potter by dazzleme7 on youtube, because it moved me to tears – and I never cry (with the exception of the last Harry Potter movie…) So that's all!_

_ Happy reading!_

**XXX**

"_Oh, have I been too discreet? How long am I supposed to wait? I think about you nightly – oh can you tell I'm losing sleep? What am I supposed to do? It's hard to stay cool – oh when you smile at me and I get so nervous I can hardly speak – my bed's too big for just me . . . when you turn your eyes, I promise I won't care . . . oh what was that you said? Would you let me know? Cause I can't read your mind . . ."_ – Ra Ra Riot

**One Faulty Kiss and One Flawless Kiss **

It seemed the whole school knew before Lily that Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange were expelled from Hogwarts. She actually heard it being whispered between two fourth years and stopped them to ask them what they were talking about.

"You haven't heard?" one of the girls asked. "Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange were expelled. They left this morning."

Lily was shocked that she had not heard of this earlier and went through the rest of the day in a shocked yet relieved daze. It was very odd. When she went to tell her friends, she realized they had already heard, and they were all in the same boat as Lily.

"They're just . . . gone?" Mary breathed, furrowing her brow.

"Merlin," sighed Frank, "That's . . . a bit of a weight off our shoulders, huh?"

"I suppose," Remus said thoughtfully, "The only bad side is that they won't be very happy with us. Lily, in particular."

"They won't do anything," Sirius said confidently, "Nothing's going to happen to Lily under our watch. And Hogwarts is the safest place to be right now, so we don't need to worry."

However, that was not why Remus was concerned. He knew Lily was safe. He just wasn't sure about the people close to her. He wasn't about to reveal that right then, and ruin everyone's euphoria, but it still nagged at the back of his mind . . .

Then, Peter walked into the common room looking very troubled and James called out to him, "Oi, Wormtail! Where've you been? We haven't seen you in a while."

Peter looked a little shaken and managed a forced smile. "Oh, I've just been in the kitchen. I got a little carried away." He chuckled nervously.

They all watched him walk up to the boys dormitories in confusion and then turned back to each other.

"That boy can be so odd." Dorcas noted, shaking her head.

**XXX**

After that event, the days seemed to fly by rather quickly for the group of Gryffindors and they didn't know what to be more excited about – the Christmas Ball or Christmas break. The Christmas ball was the day before they left for Christmas break, and of course, there were exams before that, but first – the dates needed to be arranged. Of course, Sirius and Dorcas were going together, and Alice and Frank. Peter actually revealed he wasn't going because he was going home early and he was a horrific dancer. It made the boys a little uneasy since Peter was acting a little weird lately, but they quickly shrugged it off. That just left two of the four Marauders and two of the four girls without dates.

It seemed like a logical solution that they go with each other. So that's precisely what they did. Lily of course only agreed to go with James as friends because it would've been awkward with Remus and didn't want it to . . . be like that. It had nothing to do with her feelings for James. Because they were just friends right now, just like told Alice she'd be.

How James asked her out went like this:

"Hey, Evans! Go to the Christmas Ball with me?"

"If you ask me in a more gentlemanly fashion."

"Willest thou, Lily Evans, take thine arm in attending this lovely upcoming Christmas Ball?"

"Why are you bowing?"

"Why not? I thought it added to it."

"Well – fine then. As friends, correct?"

"Correct."

But she'd seen that sparkle in his eye.

At Hogsmeade the previous weekend, the girls had chosen their dresses with each other and they indulged themselves in wearing them one night just for the fun of it.

And then came the torturous week that everyone was dreading – the week of exams before the ball and the break. Studying for said exams stole the social aspects from their life – even James and Sirius, who usually neglected studying and still did quite exceptional. So this was serious business.

Lily was pretty sure that everyone's minds were on autopilot the entire week and set to do only certain things such as: study (cram if need be), read question, answer question, check answers, turn in exam. Then eat and sleep in between that.

One particular night, Lily had dozed off right before dinner on the couch in the common room. She woke up an unknown amount of time later to James shaking her shoulder and she looked up at him in confusion.

"What – what's wrong? What's going on?" she asked groggily.

He snickered. "Nothing's wrong, sleeping beauty. I just thought I should tell you you're drooling all over your Potions book."

She straightened up all the way and grimaced, hastily wiping off the drool from her face and her book. "What time is it?"

"Eleven." He replied.

"ELEVEN?" she cried, snapping her head up to him. She smacked her textbook to her forehead. "I've been out for six hours!"

James burst out laughing and she dropped her book to her laugh again, glaring at him. "It's not funny!"

"I can't believe people just let you sit there drooling all over your book!" he exclaimed through his laughter.

"Yes, yes, it's very humorous," she grumbled, then was struck by a terrifying thought. "That means I only studied a couple hours for the Potions exam! I'm going to fail!"

"Oh, shut it, you're going to do wonderful, Lily." James assured her, finally getting a hold of himself. "In fact, you're not going to study anymore tonight."

She gave him a look. "And why is that?"

"Because you're going to sneak down into the kitchens with me. You didn't eat dinner, did you?"

"Well, no, but I really shoulder study, James –"

"Oh, you _should_, should you?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow and already dragging her away from the couch by the hand. "Well, sometimes it's healthy to do what you shouldn't do."

She gave him a playfully scornful look. "_James_ –"

"No use in arguing, Evans."

She paused. "Good point."

They laughed and pushed through the portrait hole, only to find Filch walking past. He stopped and jeered at the two Gryffindors. James and Lily looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Children out of bed!" he exclaimed, one of his eyes twitching.

He started towards them, but they quickly stumbled back into the common room, shutting the portrait hole in front of them and laughing hysterically. They heard Filch demanding the password form the Fat Lady with no avail and some other Gryffindors who had figured out what was going on laughed as well.

James and Lily looked at each other, still chuckling, and then glanced down at their still-intertwined hands. They immediately let go and looked around sheepishly for a moment before James sighed and pulled a chocolate frog out of his pocket, putting it in Lily's hand.

"Hopefully that'll hold you over till morning." He said, smiling up at her rather bashfully.

Then, he headed towards the boys dormitories and Lily was left holding the chocolate frog and sporting a rather goofy looking smile.

**XXX**

Finally. Exams were over and it was the night of the ball. No one could've been more excited and relieved that the grueling week was over and the girls were so eager that they rushed down the girls dormitory stairs only half an hour after they started getting ready. They'd said their goodbyes to Peter earlier that day, and the rest of the boys were lounging on the couch and the armchairs, laughing with each other. Other Gryffindors were milling about with their dates, all looking very cheerful in the light of the night's events.

Remus noticed them first, and smirked, nudging James, who looked at him, then looked up at them. His eyes fell on Lily and his mouth fell into an 'o'. Sirius and Frank looked over to them as well, Sirius with a rather dopey look on his face as he seemed to float over to Dorcas. Dorcas snorted and smacked him over the head.

"Get a hold of yourself, Black." She laughed and he winked at her.

Lily walked over to James and he shook his head with a slight smile. She let out a short laugh. "What?" she asked.

He met her eyes with an amused disbelief. "You're really pretty, Lily." He said softly. It was such a simple statement – what made it so powerful is that he didn't say 'you look', he said 'you are'. He didn't overdo it and say 'stunning' or 'ravishing', not even 'beautiful'. He didn't joke around, he didn't act like the silly James she often had to put up with. It was the perfect thing to say, really.

"You look very handsome." She replied with a slight smile and tugging on the lapels on his dress robes. And he certainly did. His black dress robes matched his hair and Lily could tell that even for this nice occasion, he didn't even attempt to tame his hair. To be honest, she actually liked his hair.

"Oi! Lovebirds! Let's hit it!" Frank called to them, and Lily and James glanced at each other, broken out of their stupor, and smiled at each other, following the others out of the common room.

"You know what I think is so unfair?" Sirius said as they made their way down to the Great Hall. "James and Lily _always_ end up together and they _always_ end up dancing and diminishing the chance of another cute dancing couple for the rest of us! Because they're just so damn cute!"

James and Lily glanced at each other incredulously. "We're terrible dancers!" Lily scoffed.

"Hey! Speak for yourself." James joked.

"It's true!" Alice laughed, raising her eyebrows as she clung onto Frank. "You two are really adorable."

"Okay, okay, that's enough. We both know where your thoughts lie when it comes to us." James said, glancing down at Lily with a smirk.

She laughed and shook her head as they turned into the magnificently decorated Great Hall. It was turned into a winter wonderland, which was certainly appropriate, with snowflakes shimmering above them and the walls covered with sparkling blue fabric and the air seeming to shimmer. It really was a sight to behold.

"Wow." Lily whispered.

She didn't know that James was watching her as she stared in wonder at the decorations, and he chuckled at her face as she leaned on his arm. She looked at him and grinned.

"I suppose we should let Sirius and Dorcas dance first since they're so put out when we start to pull out our terrible dance moves." She suggested.

He laughed. "I completely agree. When Sirius gets cranky, he lets everyone know it."

**XXX**

It was after Lily and James' fifth dance that things took a steep turn to bad. They were taking a break, Lily getting some punch and James going to chat with the boys really quick. Steven Smiley came up to Lily, _not_ sporting his trademark smile, which was definitely not a good sign.

"Lily, I really need your help." He whispered nervously, glancing around.

Lily swallowed her mouthful of punch and nodded. "Yeah, sure, Steven, what is it?" she asked kindly.

"Well, remember that girl I told you about? Daniela?" he asked.

Lily nodded, and he continued, "Well, we started to get on real well, but a couple nights ago we had a row – don't really want to talk about it – and she's with another bloke . . . I was wondering fi you would help me."

Lily frowned nonchalantly. "Er, sure. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to play along." He said and looked around. He flinched slightly and Lily assumed Daniela must be watching, and, without warning, Steven took her face in his hands and kissed her. Lily widened her eyes and her punch slipped out of her hand. _This_ was his solution?

Before Lily could do anything, Steven was suddenly torn from her and an alarming sound echoed through the Hall. Lily got a hold of herself and saw that James was there, and he'd punched Steven in the nose. Steven was now on the ground with a very angry James above him, and he was about to hit him again, but Lily rushed forward and grabbed his arm at the same time a girl – she guessed it was Daniela – and held his face in her hands.

"Are you completely insane?" she exclaimed, brushing his hair out of his face.

Lily tugged on James' arm until he finally allowed her to drag him away. When she saw Sirius and the others trying to make their way to them, she shook her head, and they backed off. She glared ahead and went through the doors into the empty main corridor. She let go of his arm and walked ahead a few steps, putting a hand to her forehead. That had _not_ gone well.

"What the _hell_, Lily?" he exclaimed, and she turned on him.

"He was trying to make that girl jealous, James!" she said exasperatedly.

"And so you let him _kiss_ you?" he asked incredulously.

"It had nothing to do with me! And I didn't even agree to it, he just sprung it on me! I was trying to help!"

"Why didn't you push him off you or something?" he yelled, his hand motions getting more and more expressive as he got angrier.

"Excuse me if I was a little shocked at the time!" she laughed mirthlessly.

"Or is it just because you really do fancy that Smiley bloke?"

She gaped at him. "That's completely ridiculous!"

"It would make sense, wouldn't it?" he exclaimed with a sarcastic smile.

"JAMES, YOU DOLT! Don't you realize I fancy _you_?" she yelled, and her eyes widened, for it was the first time she'd admitted it to even herself. His eyes widened, too, but she just let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and grabbed his face, kissing him shamelessly. She ran her hands through that Godforsaken hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground.

When they broke apart, they heard cheering from the Great Hall and saw their friends had been watching, which should've irked Lily, but she simply laughed. She leaned her head on James' chest, hugging him to her and they all charged towards them, laughing and exclaiming "FINALLY"'s. Lily looked up at James and they smiled at each other.

She supposed she'd have to thank Steven after all. They both got what they wanted tonight.


	20. Some Advice and a Proper Snogging

**Some Advice and a Proper Snogging**

Lily plopped on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Looking back on everything that happened, her and James' kiss, the euphoric haze of the rest of the ball, and then the train ride back home, it seemed unreal. Now that she was detached form it, from everyone – especially James – she wondered how her mind would make sense of it. Her kissing James had been an on-a-whim, passionate sort of thing, and now that she thought about it . . . what would it lead to? Did this mean they were in some sort of relationship? What if it was awkward when they saw each other again? Oh, Merlin – she still had to get him something for Christmas! Did this raise the stakes or something ridiculous like that? Did she have to get him some super awesome present now?

This was her problem. She thought way too much, and now she on the brink of a nervous breakdown. She bet James was just lounging about in that devil-may-care way of his, doing something that he would probably get into trouble for later, because he was just so . . . infuriatingly sure of himself like that.

She sighed and swung her legs off the bed, blowing some hair out of her face. Well, luckily, she would be able to see him and sort this out soon. She promised she'd spend the first week of Christmas break with the Meadowes, who were going to go to the Potter's, naturally. They were only staying until Christmas Eve night, though. However, that was plenty of time to settle things with James, however that might turn out. She just hoped she hadn't made a bigger mess rather than fixing it.

**XXX**

It was late and Lily's parents were getting ready for bed, but their door was open. Lily hesitated, but then walked towards the doorway, yearning for experienced adult advice. Her mother was sitting on the bed in her robe and brushing her hair as her father called from the closet, "Marie, where's my other black sock?"

"Zachary, you have _many_ black socks," She sighed, "Look under the dresser, dear."

"I _did_, but – oh."

Mum shook her head, smiling, and Lily finally stepped into the room, feeling extremely childish, and mumbled, "Mum, I need to talk to you."

Her mum frowned, set the brush aside and patted the place next to her. "Of course, sweetheart, what's the matter?"

She sighed and sat down, leaning her head on her shoulder. "I have a boy problem."

"A _boy problem_?" her dad repeated, popping his head out of the closet door.

"_Dad_ –"

"Zack, if we want your input, we'll ask for it." Her mum said sternly, and her look must've matched her tone, because he pursed his lips, but retreated back into the bathroom again.

"Now tell me what this is all about, honey." Her mother said, in a much softer tone. Lily sighed and relayed her very complicated, confusing relationship with James over the past few years and of the past few weeks, especially the night of the Christmas Ball. When she was finished, she'd lifted her head off her mother's shoulder and looked at her expectantly.

"Well," Mum said with a slightly incredulous laugh. "That is quite the story. I can't believe you've never told me this, by the way –"

"Me neither!" Dad called, just to be a part of it.

They both ignored him. "Now, sweetie, you _do_ need to talk to James about this," she began, "but first, you need to figure out what you really feel about him, because muddled feelings is never good for either parties."

Lily frowned and nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"But if I may, honey," she said quietly, brushing her daughter's hair behind her shoulder. "James seems like a very nice young man, and when you talk about him, you have a certain flair about you. I really would like to meet him someday."

Lily smiled, and was about to reply when her gangly father appeared in the bathroom doorway in his ridiculous Batman pajama's, holding a black sock in his hand, which he used to flop around as he said, "I would, too, Lily Marie, and you let him know I have very high expectations."

Lily rolled her eyes. "_Dad_, you're the one wearing the Batman pajama's!"

Her glanced down and hesitated. "That – is beside the point, young lady."

"High expectations indeed." Lily muttered with a smirk, and she and her mother snickered, much to the displeasure of her father.

"Good_night_, Dad, I love you," she laughed and said goodnight to her Mum, too, giving them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Zachary, what did I say about those pajama's? I already threw out the Spiderman ones –"

"And that was one of the saddest days of my life, I'll have you know."

"You're ridiculous, now put on some normal sleeping attire, you oversized five year old –"

"Nope! These are my favorite; I know you secretly like them, Marie. . ."

And Lily, chuckling and shaking her head, finally closed her door, drowning out their conversation.

**XXX**

"So . . . what? You do or don't like James?' Dorcas asked as they passed through a Quidditch shop in Diagon Alley. It was definitely where they were going to find things for the boys, and Lily might just slip something in there for Dorcas, too.

Lily felt panic rising in her chest again and did her best to squash it. "I – don't know, I'm still trying to figure it out! I mean, I do care for him, I didn't kiss him for nothing, it's just the relationship thing is kind of freaking me out!" she said, her voice getting higher and higher as she went on.

Dorcas snorted. "And you gave Sirius and I so much shit for having commitment issues. Not so easy now, is it?"

Lily grimaced, and just to save herself from endless taunting, said, "Beside the point. I just – _aahh_!" she squawked, grabbing Dorcas by the coat and launching both of them behind one of the shelves.

"What in the –" Dorcas yelp, but Lily put a hand over her mouth.

"The Marauders are over there." She hissed, peeking out from behind the shelf to watch them laugh at something James did ever so elegantly. Dorcas made an exasperated noise at the back of her throat.

"For crying out loud – " she grumbled, walking out from behind the shelf despite Lily's grappling of her coat. She started to walk over to them and Lily made a face, turning around and leaning against the shelf.

_Get a hold of yourself, Lily,_ she told herself firmly, shaking her head, and then set her face into a determined expression. She walked out to face them and found Dorcas was saying, "Oh – Lily? She's just, well –"

"Right here." Lily said, smiling, and came up beside her to take in the Marauder's, or, specifically, James. His tousled dark hair was more so today because of the wind and snow, and he was bundled in a black coat, jeans and scarf, rather laid back, and surprisingly fashionable. Seeing him made her earlier troubles flee to the back of her mind, which made her uneasy, but the excitement and giddiness overpowered those emotions, leaving her to deal with them later. She was just a little conflicted.

But of course she didn't show that to any of them, especially James and zoned back into reality to find Sirius and Dorcas had meandered off, probably to snog, knowing those two, and Remus gave James a smirk and Lily a warm smile before he drifted away as well, Peter following close behind. Lily started to panic just a little and fiddled with her hands, looking around. When they were finally alone, she noticed James was looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You're thinking very hard, and it's probably about something that isn't worth the time." He noted, and she gaped at him.

"I am not," she reprimanded unconvincingly.

He chuckled and took her hand. "Take a walk with me."

"But it's freezing outside." She pointed out as he led her towards the door.

"Evans – we're magical." He said, shooting her an exasperated look.

She was about to retort, but then he opened the door to the Quidditch store, the cold wind bursting in their faces – not for long though, because then James cast a wordless warming charm around them, and it settled around her like a blanket. They walked out into the snow-covered street where there was barely anyone braving the cold weather – even with the warming charm, they had to walk through the thick snow. The snowflakes still fell, lighter now, and rested in their hair on their clothes, but Lily didn't mind. She liked it, actually. They walked slowly, and he kept her gloved hand in his. She snuck a curious look at him to find his eyes on their intertwined hands. She half-smiled and took advantage of the distraction to admire the contours of his face and the flush on his pale cheeks, such a contrast with his dark hair –

He glanced at her, and she quickly looked away, a guilty smile twitching on her lips. He laughed and tugged her closer, putting his lips to her temple.

"I know you weren't just checking out my gloriously good looks, Evans." He said jokingly against her skin, and she rolled her eyes.

"Please, I just thought you had something on your face," She said, though neither believed it. Before he could jump at the chance to inflate his ego, she continued, "Did you know I'm coming to your house tomorrow?"

"Are you?" he asked and leaned back from her, raising an eyebrow.

"With the Meadowes," she said, nodding, and continued without thinking, "You know, my parents –"

But then she cut off, her eyes widening. She was _not_ about to say her parents wanted to meet him. How daft could she be? They weren't even in a relationship! Then she glanced at their clasped hands, noting that that was not something two people usually did when not in a relationship. She sighed in an annoyed manner.

He raised his eyebrows and squeezed her hand. "Your parents what?" he asked, seeming to know already what she was about to say from the smirk on his face.

"Not important." She said in a tone she hoped translated to 'DROP IT', but of course it didn't get through his thick skull.

"It is too." He insisted, and she shot him a look.

"Fine," she sighed in a mumble. "I sort of told my parents about you on accident, and they sort of want to meet you. Sort of."

"They sort of want to meet me?" he said, biting his lip to keep back laughter.

"Yes." She grumbled.

"Because you _sort of_ told them about me?"

"_Yes_. You're enjoying this way too much." She said, glaring at nothing in particular.

He stopped and she was forced to halt with him, trying to avoid his gaze. To her mild surprise, he brought her towards him in a swift motion, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. She looked up into his hazel eyes, through his rectangle black-rimmed glasses, and he pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Lily. Because it's driving me crazy trying to guess." He murmured, resting his hand on her cheek.

Lily squeezed her eyes shut. They were acting so . . . couple-y. Her parents wanted to meet him. Suddenly they were faced with relationship type problems and it was just – too much. She couldn't date _James Potter_, the guy she'd thrown insults at carelessly for five years! Talking civilly, okay; friends, fine; but – but _dating_? As in, a romantic relationship? Would they just forget their past? The old James clouded her mind, the one who suspended Severus in the air, the one whose head could not get any bigger, the one she loathed.

She stumbled out of his arms and into the wall of one of the stores, opening her eyes. She was startled by the sudden freezing weather – James must've gotten too distracted to keep up the spell – and sucked in the icy air. It helped clear her mind a bit, but James looked down right out of his mind confused and more than a little irritated, and she couldn't blame him. Time to come clean.

"Lily – you've got to clue me in here, but because contrary to what you might think – _I can't read your mind_." He exclaimed a but desperately.

"I know, I'm sorry, James, really," she breathed, "It's just – I'm confused here, too. It's just weird that I'm doing this with _James Potter,_ who I used to despise –"

"Lily, have you not noticed that I've changed just a bit?" he said with a short, humorless laugh, looking extremely irritated now.

"I know, I know, you have changed," she relented. That much was clear, and there was no use in arguing about it. Time to get to the core of the problem. "I'm just confused about – what we are, if anything, and don't get me wrong, James, I like you, I do; this is just different and I don't know how to act, or what's appropriate now or – or –"

As she started to get more flustered, he started to get more at ease, smiling softly at her mild hysteria, and she didn't notice how much closer he'd sidled forward – she was sort of glancing around in panic during her rant – until he grabbed her face in his hands. She looked at him in surprise and desperation, ready for his answer, and he leaned his forehead against hers. There was something in his eyes – something that meant he had an idea, an idea that was probably extremely inappropriate – that made her go weak at the knees and she had to grab hold of him to stay standing.

"Evans," he said in a low voice and with a wicked smile, his hands trailing down form her face to her waist. "How about, for one second, you stop thinking so much and just act on instinct?"

She gasped and there wasn't time to think before he pulled her to him with one arm, his hand falling on the wall behind her, and he crushed his lips to hers. Her mind was about to dive into a very detailed analysis of what was going on here and what the most logical thing to do was, but then his words hit her once more. So, slowly, she allowed herself to be hypnotized by the way his warm lips felt on hers and the way he was gripping her hip and the dizzying smell of him. He seemed to be mildly surprised when she responded with a force and passion that seemed to come out of nowhere, allowing their kiss to deepen. She pulled him closer toward her, and he followed her as she leaned back against the wall, which he continued to push her into. She slid her hands in his soft hair, scratching her nails through it, and he reciprocated eagerly, sliding his hand down from her hip onto her thigh and she leaned into him more –

"Oi!"

"Ho-ly hell."

"James, you dog!"

"LILY?"

The two of them broke apart and James dropped his head with a sigh before looking over at their friends, who just exited the Quidditch shop to see their heated snogging session.

"Son of a –" he muttered.

She smirked. "Why does it seem like we're always being interrupted by them?"

He looked up at her with a gleam in his eye and opened his mouth to say something, but Dorcas called, "Sorry to break that up – really, I am, but, Lily, I promised we'd meet my mum for lunch!"

Lily sighed and couldn't keep the dumb smile off her face. "I'll see you tomorrow." She murmured against his lips.

"You better finish what you started, Evans." He replied, laughing.

"Oh, please, I'm more of a tease than that." She joked, sliding out of her arms. "And if I remember correctly, _you're_ the one who started it."

"And if I remember correctly, you reciprocated just as enthusiastically –"

"_You're_ the one who said 'act on instinct'—"

"Oi, break it up already!" Sirius laughed incredulously; the others were already making their way down the street.

Lily and James glanced at each other and then grabbed each other's hand, catching up with the others.

**XXX**

Lily flopped onto Dorcas' bed, burying her face in the pillows. The day had been exhausting, buying presents for everyone, and not to mention it was rather tiring not being able to get James Potter out of her head . . .

Dorcas set her bags down on her desk and then turned to her, smirking with one hand on her hip. "Well?"

Lily peeked out of her cocoon of pillows and grinned at her look. "What's that look for?" she asked, even though she very well knew.

"Perhaps it's because I'm a bit curious as to how you came about snogging – very enthusiastically, I might add – a very messy-haired bloke we know."

"Oh, shut up." She grumbled, but she couldn't help a smile, burying her face in the pillows again.

Dorcas laughed and picked up one of the pillows, smacking her on the head with it. "YOU FANCY JAMES POTTER!"

Lily quickly turned onto her back in surprise, her mouth agape. "DORCAS! Shut _up_!"

But they both couldn't quit laughing and Lily shook her head, throwing a pillow back at her half-heartedly.

_A/N: Hey! I see you smiling! Don't get too comfortable, folks, there's still much drama to come. Jeez, this chapter was like, fluff-overload. But I seriously love Lily's dad. :D So, thank you so much for reviewing, we're almost to 100! :D Many, many e-hugs to you all!_


	21. Wasted Time and Wasted Words

_A/N: :O Holy mother. Almost twenty reviews for last chapter alone? That's more than I've ever gotten, I think – that's amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. :)_

"_Where are you? And I'm so sorry – I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight, I need somebody and always . . . like indecision to call you, and hear your voice of treason – will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head . . . don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head . . ._" – blink-182

**Don't Waste Your Time**

"You . . . actually did it, Prongsie." Sirius said in disbelief, shaking his head with a slight smile. They had stayed in Diagon Alley longer than the girls to grab a butterbeer and to discuss their bafflement at James' relationship status. _Of course, with no offense,_ James added dryly to himself.

"I still can't believe you almost felt her up in a public area –" Remus laughed with a chuckle.

"Oh, shut it, Remus, be happy for the bloke!" Sirius reprimanded him, hitting his arm with the back of his hand.

"I _am_ happy for him! James, I'm extremely happy for you." Remus said to him with an exasperated look.

"Thanks, Remus." James said dryly, sipping his butterbeer.

Remus hesitated. "I just have a bad feeling about this." He admitted.

Unfortunately, this caused feelings that were not at all warm and fuzzy to stir inside James, remembering the feeling when Lily told him how she'd fancied Remus. He couldn't be jealous, could he?

This was not the case whatsoever. Remus just genuinely had a bad feeling about how James and Lily's relationship was going. It seemed to be going very fast, and neither had experienced such strong feeling for each other, or anyone for that matter, before. Of course, Remus might just be paranoid for his friend's well-being, but he couldn't shake the feeling. But what did he know? He was even less experienced than both of them combined, and they sure did seem like they were made for each other . . . but even so. No relationship can last if you rush into it.

"You have a bad feeling about this?" James repeated slowly, turning fully to Remus.

"James, I'm _happy for you_, really, I am. You got Lily, who you've always wanted," Remus obliged, but then continued, "I just don't want you to rush into it, or you might get hurt. Both of you."

James frowned and was about to say something, but Sirius beat him to it. "He's right, Prongs. You really just need to take it slow if you want it to last, especially with the two of you."

James ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You're right," he muttered, "You're right. Listen, I'm going to take that into consideration, but also note that it's sort of difficult to keep my control around Lily Evans, mates. Now, come on, Mum had dinner ready half an hour ago, and I'm starved."

**XXX**

"Yes . . . Yes, mum, I'll call you when I get there – well, if they have a phone. But I'll call you before I leave the Meadowe's on Christmas Eve. Okay – okay, tell dad I love him . . . Yeah, why not, pass it on to Petunia, too, although I don't we'll ever recover from our fight on moving in with Vern. I'm kidding, mum. Yes, I know he doesn't like to be called Vern, that's more or less the point. Okay – alright, mum? I've got to go. Okay, I love you. Bye. Bye."

Lily hung up the phone and smirked, raising en eyebrow at it. "You _do_ realize that thing's from, like, 1960, right?" she asked Dorcas with a laugh.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Well, so-_rry_, I had to dig that thing up from the basement. Now, come on, finish packing. We're leaving in ten minutes."

Lily did as she was told and double-checked to make sure she had everything. She sighed and put her hands on her hips. She vowed to put her sour past with James behind her. It was time to move on, that was life. People changed. You changed. Things changed. And she needed to grow up and face what was right in front of her face. James was different now – he was kind and funny and everything she'd ever wanted in a guy, and she better get her priorities straight and accept his attempts, or she'd miss her chance. Finally, she realized what everyone was trying to tell her.

Dorcas nudged her arm. "You ready? Let's go already – if I don't snog Sirius in the ten minutes, I won't be very pleasant to be around."

Lily laughed and nodded, grabbing her suitcase and bounding down the stairs after Dorcas, a new wave of excitement washing over her.

"I'd like to see your parents' faces if they heard you say that –"

"Oh, shut it, Evans . . ."

**XXX**

Of course, right when they got to the Potter's, Dorcas grabbed Sirius by the arm and dragging him into the nearest deserted hallway, looking very conspicuously mischievous. Of course, Sirius didn't look like he was objecting whatsoever – he looked rather slap-happy, as a matter of fact.

James and Lily met eyes and opened their mouths to say their greetings, but Mrs. Susan bustled in, an apron around her waist.

"Kids! Kids, I have lunch in the – where are Dorcas and Sirius?" Mrs. Susan cut off, frowning as she looked around.

Lily and James glanced at each other and Lily gave him a sly look that translated to 'you-got-this-one-mate'. He cleared his throat and tried to suppress his smile.

"Sirius went to show Dorcas her room. No matter how much the girl comes here, she always gets lost."

Mrs. Susan put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. "James Benjamin, I hope you do not think I am so idiotic as to believe that. After they get done snogging, will you please inform them there is food in the kitchen? That should be enough for Sirius," she said, followed with their speechless shock. Then she smiled at Lily. "And welcome back, Lily, happy Christmas."

And with that, she walked from the room, leaving the two staring in astonishment after her. James and Lily looked at each other and subconsciously started toward each other slowly, still staring at the door like they expected her to pop back out.

"That was so weird," James whispered loudly, "She's like a bloody psychic."

She wrapped her arms around his neck once they met and nodded in agreement. "It's a gift all mothers have." She said, shuddering at all the memories of her own mothers' keen, all-knowing comments.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and raised his eyebrows, his lips twitching and nodding in his teasing manner. "Well, hopefully she's distracted with her cooking now." He murmured against her lips, smiling as he kissed her.

Lily felt something sprinkle onto her head and looked up to find a floating mistletoe there and she shook her head, laughing. "Very discreet, James."

"Yes, I try," he said dismissively with a grin, his mind obviously on other things. "Now what was I saying about finishing what you started . . . ?"

She smirked. "Oh, I can't seem to remember . . ."

He chuckled, pulling her closer to him. "Oh, c'mere, you pain in the . . ."

**XXX**

"An Auror, huh?" she murmured, leaning her cheek against his back.

"Always wanted to be. Family business I suppose." He replied, and she could feel his chest slightly vibrate with his words. The night sky stretched before them, the moon right front and center – James had taken Lily out on his broomstick, since she had never been too swell at flying, he'd insisted they go for a ride. Though she declined – repeatedly – James was a stubborn arse and nearly dragged her out. She wasn't complaining now though. As naïve and girly and corny it may sound, she always felt she was safe with James.

"And you, Lily?" he asked, "D'you have a dram career?"

She frowned, lifting her chin to his shoulder. "Not really. I actually wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid – Muggle job where you go into space and stuff – but ever since I came into the Wizarding World, I never really had a clue. Better get on that since we're graduating next year . . . but, like I've told you before, I'd really like to help with the war effort, too. I mean, You-Know-Who's killing people like _me_ –"

"People like _us_, Lily," he cut her off softly, turning his head slightly to her. "Not just like you. He's killing magical people. That includes you and it includes me – it includes wizard and witch. Before you make other people stop setting you apart, you've got to stop doing it yourself."

Lily frowned, looking to the side. "You're right." She breathed. It was so odd – it didn't even seem wrong until he said something about it. It was a subconscious thing that she didn't even realize was a problem until it was voiced.

"Hey – but let's not talk about that now." he murmured, and half-turned to grab her by the waist and swing her around front so she was facing him. He held his hands on the broomstick behind her to keep them steady. The moonlight splashed across his skin and she raised her hand to his cheek. Gravity worked against her – or with her, whatever way you chose to look at it – and she slipped down so she was straddling him.

"It's Christmas," he continued quietly with a slight smile. "And I'm with you, and we're finally together. It's times like these we need to cherish so we can remember them to get through the bad."

She smiled and ran her thumb across his lips, then kissed him softly. Despite herself, she shivered against the December freeze and he leaned back.

"You cold?" he murmured, lifting one hand to rub her back. "Let's get back inside. I'm sure Sirius and Dorcas are done now, and we can have some hot chocolate. If they're not done – well, it'll be fun interrupting them."

**XXX**

That night, at approximately three in the morning, James was woken up rather suddenly and rather rudely by the sneered words, "Evening, Potter". The voice belonged to his most despised enemy, Severus Snape, who stood over him, his wand to James' neck as the latter slowly sat up, glaring at him.

James' mind raced. How was Snape in his house? Did he have others with him? Where was his own wand? What if he yelled for help? Would Snape really be daft enough to try something on him in his own home?

"We need to have a little chat." he spat and James glowered at him silently.

"How'd you get into my house?" he demanded coldly.

"Broomsticks, Potter," he chuckled humorlessly. "Too simple to be detected by the protective enchantments around your home. How convenient."

"You son of a –" he exclaimed, sitting forward more suddenly, but Snape's wand pressed deeply into his throat, making James choke.

"Not so fast, Potter, I've got friends who have somewhat similar intentions as I."

James looked around as the shadows seemed to shift and there were a few low snickers.

"Why the hell are you here?" James snapped.

"I'll tell you why I'm here," he snarled, leaning forward. "You and Lily's little _relationship_ has got to stop. I realize it's quite impossible to demand you stop being friends, so I'm being generous. But this disgusting romantic arrangement you have has to stop."

"Or what?" James growled, getting closer to Snape's greasy face. _Where the hell is my _wand_?_

"Or I have some connections that will be more than happy to make her life hell. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out who it is," _Black and Lestrange._

"You wouldn't do that to her. You love her, don't you?" James said darkly, his gut twisting.

Snape flinched harshly. "That was before she went and –" he started, but then let out a breath, lowering his voice. "And don't think it's just her life that will suffer, I'm sure you're egotistical enough to not really care. So you love your parents? Want to keep them around? _Do as I say_."

"My parents could kill you in a millisecond –"

"Could they? The real question is – could they take all of us. We're sort of like a pack of animals, Potter, it'll be hard to get one of us alone."

"Animals is right." James snarled, spitting at him.

Snape started towards him, but then stopped, letting out another angry breath. "Don't you dare try anything _or tell anybody_," he said after a moment, "we'll know and the consequences will be the same – for both of you. Is that clear?"

James just silently glowered with all the hatred he possessed. Snape smiled in sick pleasure at the look and backed away, grabbing for his broomstick. James saw five more and knew he was outnumbered and couldn't just kill Snape right then. The shadows moved and got their broomsticks, as well, but before they left, Snape turned back to him.

"You don't really think it would've lasted, do you? She's far too good for you."

"Better off with me than you, Snape," he retorted venomously, "Even you can't deny that – _Death Eater_."

Snape's face contorted into an enraged scowl, and he and James kept eyes for a moment before he flew off with the rest of the psycho's.

James sat there, shell shocked.

This couldn't be happening.


	22. Love Till You Hate Strong Till You Break

**Love Till You Hate, Strong Till You Break**

"_Roxanne, you don't need to put on that red light . . . you don't have to wear that dress tonight . . .Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight – you're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me, and please believe me when I say, I love you. . ._" – El Tango de Roxanne (Moulin Rouge)

Severus Snape had planned it out. He had bribed, he had bargained, he had been patient. It was only the first step in making the Marauder's lives hell for what they'd done to him all throughout Hogwarts, and now he finally had the power to do so. Unfortunately, successfully doing so to Potter involved Lily, whom he truly did love. He would always love her – but she'd made her choice.

First, he'd take Lily away from Potter, which had had already somewhat been achieved. Then, he'd expose Lupin as a werewolf. He figured having Black live through all that – his friends suffering – would be enough with the Gryffindor nobility and sacrificial tendencies and whatnot. As for Pettigrew . . . well, he wasn't necessarily the problem anymore. If only Snape could tell them what Pettigrew had been doing behind their backs – that would be enough to torture them. Unfortunately, if he didn't want to be tortured and slaughtered by the Dark Lord, there was no hope in that. They'd find out soon enough.

It hadn't been hard to get Black and Lestrange to help him, along with the cronies that followed them around like dogs – Mulciber, Avery, the lot, considering this deal affected Lily as well as Potter. He mostly just needed them for back up and intimidation.

But finally, the Marauder's would get what they deserved. And maybe being separated from James would make Lily realize he was right for her. It was a long shot – but it wasn't just about Lily now.

**XXX**

Lily woke that morning earlier than she would've liked. She was out rather late with James, and they spent an even longer time by the fire drinking hot cocoa with Sirius and Dorcas. However, she couldn't make herself go back to sleep after already waking up, so she sat up stretched. It was seven in the morning, she realized in dissatisfaction, but she got up anyway, looking forward to the peace of drinking tea while watching the morning sun. The thought encouraged her out of bed and she padded out of her room and down the stairs, the light outside filled the house with a transitioning gray-ish color, and she could see the sun out the enormous living rooms windows. She passed through into the kitchen and went to the cupboard to get a cup when she heard a chair shift. She whipped her head around, grabbing for her wand that wasn't there, but saw that it was only James, staring at her with an odd surprised, even fearful expression. She frowned and let out a breathy laugh.

"James," she gasped, "You scared me. Sorry, I'm jumpy lately."

She left the cupboard and walked over to him, oblivious to his stiff stature. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, sighing as she leaned her cheek against the top of his head.

"Why are you up so early?" she asked, frowning against his hair.

"I – I . . ." he stuttered, and closed his eyes. This was all he'd ever wanted, to be together with Lily. Here she was, where he could kiss her, hold her without her pushing him away, and now he had to give it up. If anything happened to her, his parents or anyone else because of this – he just wouldn't be able to live with himself. Snape had hit his Gryffindor sore spot. He would kill him.

"Lily," he rasped, standing. He gazed at her open, slightly confused face and what he was about to say broke his heart. "I – I've been thinking, and . . . and I'm not sure we . . . I'm not sure I –"

"James, what are you getting at?" she asked, looking really worried now.

He sighed. He had to keep it together.

"I just – I'm not sure . . . that we should . . . be together." He forced out, his throat dry, his stomach twisting, his head pounding.

She stared at him, her mouth slightly open and her eyes more than a little hurt. He stood there feeling lower than he'd ever felt and tried to focus on the good reasons he was doing this. For her – he was doing this for her.

"What are you saying?" she whispered, her brow furrowed.

He closed his eyes. God, did he really have to say it?

"I'm . . . breaking up with you." he said quietly, slowly.

"Merlin – James, we were never even officially together, and you're already breaking it off?" she growled, laughing bitterly. "That's typical. You know, I really thought this was what you wanted. What about last night? I just really thought you –"

She cut off and shook her head, looking away. He just stood there. He didn't even bloody mean it, so he didn't know what to say. There was no way to make this better.

She looked back up at him, her brow still furrowed, and swallowed thickly. "So that's it? You're not even going to tell me why?"

"Listen, Lily, I care about you –" She snorted disbelievingly. "—I do. And I know I'm being an asshole right now, but it's just – now the right time for me. That's all."

"Not the right time, James?" she repeated, shaking her head. "That's the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard. What's really going on?"

He eyed her and then let his head hang. He rubbed his hands over his face, beneath his glasses, and finally met her gaze again. "I just need some time."

That was the best he could do.

He couldn't stand the expression on her face anymore, so he brushed past her towards the door.

"I'll give you time, James, alright?" she said quietly before he could walk out. He looked back at her, but her back was still to him, her head hung. "As much as you need, because I really do like you. I just don't understand why you're trying to stop this before we've even begun."

She finally turned to look at him and shrugged weakly. "And I can't stay here with you until you make a definitive decision, because I just know it'll kill me. Just let me know when you make up your mind."

He could tell she was holding back her anger, but she looked weary too, like she almost expected something to go wrong. _Why is this happening?_

All he wanted to do was grab her and kiss her, hold her, assure her he wanted her, he did – but it just wasn't possible.

"I don't expect you to understand right now," he murmured, "just – wait for me, Lily."

She met his gaze and looked so hurt that he wanted to look away so badly, but something told him he shouldn't.

"Wait for you . . ." she whispered, "James, if this is some sort of payback for all the years you spent after me –"

"No, no – Lily," he cut her off, squeezing his eyes shut. "It's not like that."

She looked at him curiously. "You don't want this. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me, James. What's going on?"

Were they watching as they spoke? Would they notice even the slightest hint of confirmation, that he didn't want this? It was probably too late now, she could easily read him. She knew he was trying to think of a better excuse of the top of his head.

"Just trust me," he finally said, looking at her intently. "Do you trust me?"

She eyed him thoughtfully. "Of course," She replied decidedly, then after a moment, she asked, "Would it be easier for me to leave, James?"

He hesitated. The last thing he really wanted was to be away from her, but he knew it would be easier that way. He nodded. She nodded in return and sighed, her eyes falling on the table beside her. He knew her mind was racing on what could possibly be wrong.

"Trust me." He repeated, and she met his eyes with a wary glint in her eye. He nodded to her in encouragement. Then, she walked past him out the door, leaving him staring at where she'd been. He wondered if they'd ever get another chance.

**XXX**

It was tie for what was worse: the chastising from his father and mother or the nagging from Dorcas and Sirius. It went something like this, respectively:

"She was such a great catch, Jimmy!"

"James Benjamin, what were you thinking?"

"James, you nitwit! You let her _leave_?"

"PRONGS, YOU BLOODY WANKER, YOU FINALLY HAD HER, LIKE YOU'VE BEEN WHINING ABOUT FOR SIX YEARS! _ARE YOU INSANE?_"

He had just brushed off their scolding with simple, unelaborate replies and had, incredibly, managed to get him off his back, during which he escaped to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and felt like his ears were going to fall off from all the yelling. He ripped off his glasses and threw an arm over his eyes, exhausted. He was too tired to think of a legitimate solution, but one thing he was sure of: he would fight for Lily. He wasn't going to give up that easy.

**XXX**

Lily ended up eating ice cream with her mum and watching old Bonnie and Clyde movies. She felt pretty pathetic and all she really wanted to do was figure out what the hell was going on with James, but she gave into the need to mope. Her mother had whole-heartedly agreed, partly because of her daughter's broken heart and partly because of the excuse to eat as much ice cream as she wanted. Lily knew her mother too well.

As they watched their movie, Lily's father cooked dinner and switched between complaining about "boys these days don't know what they're missing" and "you're going to ruin your appetite with that creamy deliciousness". Petunia was flipping through a furniture magazine at the kitchen table with her feet propped up on it, and ignored their parent's bantering. Since Tuney – which she dind't like to be called anymore – was moving in with Vernon next week, she felt very "independent" and "adult" and was looking through a bunch of boring decorating magazines, even though the apartment they were moving into was already furnished.

"Oh, hush, Zachary, this is what your daughter needs right now," mum said, scraping out the last of her carton of ice cream. "and I love you, dear, but your pasta is always overcooked!"

Lily peered over the back of the couch in amusement as her father's mouth dropped open and he scowled, stirring the pasta vigorously.

"Well, Marie, maybe you just have bad taste in pasta!" he countered indignantly.

Lily chuckled contentedly as her mother retorted, "I'm a _food critic_, Zachary!"

Lily swore they said each other's name in every single sentence when they were cross with each other. Their bantering continued and only when she couldn't focus on Bonnie and Clyde's intense make out session did she speak up.

"Mum, dad?" she said, and they both looked at her. "Could you stop? _Please?_ This is the best part."

"Yes, and I'm trying to focus on my _magazine_." Petunia said like it was obvious they should all leave because she was "focusing on her _magazine_".

"Petunia, you should not be doing something like reading where everyone is bamboozling around and Marie, Lily is not old enough to be watching these movies anyway –"

"Oh, shut it, Zachary, I'll deal with you later." She said, winking at him, and he froze. Then a goofy grin spread over his face and Lily blanched, quickly turning back to the TV. Petunia made an annoyed noise and shut her magazine, leaving the room.

"Don't make me puke." She muttered.

Her mother chuckled at them before she and Lily focused back on the movie and their ice cream.

**XXX**

Of course, Christmas wasn't as special as Lily had hoped, but she had a nice time with her family – well, minus Petunia, who'd spent the majority of her time with Vernon. Neither of them wanted to be around Lily. However, she and her parents went to town and looked at all the sparkling lights and saw A Christmas Carol. It was the most normal – well, most Muggle Christmas she'd had since she was little, and it really helped her get her mind off James, thought he was always in the her thoughts one way or another.

She was hesitant on sending him his Christmas present, but decided to anyway. She'd already bought it for him after all. It was extremely nice leather Quidditch gloves and knee guards, and a more intimate something – a picture Mary had taken of the two of them on the train ride back home for Christmas break. She'd been taking pictures of everyone like a mad woman because she wanted to hang them up in her bedroom or something like that and she'd sent Lily this one the day before. Lily wanted James to have it, though, and what could it hurt, really?

The picture was of the two of them to looking at each other, then bursting out laughing at someone's joke, and Lily plopping her cheek onto James' shoulder, shaking her head as they continued to laugh whole-heartedly.

She smiled softly as she tucked the picture into the envelope with her letter that simply said: _Merry Christmas, James. Much love, Lily_, because she didn't know what was appropriate here. So she quickly tucked that into the parcel and started wrapping the others. She got Dorcas the complete works of the Weird Sisters, which was on sale in some shop in Diagon Alley, Mary a charmed bottomless silk bag, Alice a charm bracelet she'd been eyeing when they were last shopping together and, as a joke, a picture of her celebrity crush, Patrick Lionsten (a professional Quidditch player), kissing at the camera and waggling his eyebrows, which she'd charmed it to do. She also got Sirius a Falmouth Falcons poster, Remus a collection of the Charles Dickens book s and Peter some Honeydukes candy, because she didn't really know what else to get him. Besides, she hadn't really seen him for a while to ask him what he wanted. Of course, all this nearly left her broke, in addition to the presents for her parents and even her sister (though it was only a coupon for five dollars off at some nail place). So she was pretty much out of money by the time Christmas came.

She sent them to everyone and sighed afterwards, extremely tired from all the wrapping and then the thought occurred to her that she could have done it with magic.

She slapped a hand over her eyes. "Merlin, I've been in the Muggle world way too long." She chuckled.

She sighed and stood from the floor. She'd already opened her own presents from her parents – a compilation of books and clothes and all that – and the candy from her stocking – which she was secretly glad her parents still kept up – spread out on her bed.

"I'll give you lots of treats when you get back, Pen, alright?" she murmured to her owl, Penny, who was about to take the first round of her friends presents.

Penny cocked her head at her and then seemed to give her a look like '_fine, whatever_' and took off. Lily picked up her already-opened Hershey's bar and bit into it, leaning against her doorframe as Penny took off out the window.

"Lily Marie! It's time for the Evans Christmas Karaoke!" her dad sang from downstairs.

Lily smiled softly and called back, "Coming!" before she walked down the stairs, closing her door as she went.

**XXX**

Sirius and Dorcas were debating on what could've possibly triggered this ridiculous twist of events as they lay on Dorcas' beds, both sprawled out on their backs.

"Okay, I've got nothing," Dorcas declared in exasperation, sitting up. "Everything we've come up with either is impossible or completely stupid."

Sirius lifted his head onto his hand. "Well then what the hell happened? James isn't talking, and he said Lily had nothing to do with all this –"

"Well, James has to crack eventually." Dorcas said, a glint in her eye.

"Oh, no, you've got that evil scheming look on your face." He groaned, flopping his head back on the bed.

She gave him a look. "Take comfort in the fact that most of my schemes fail monumentally. But we've got to try. I'd swear on my life that James didn't willingly break it off with Lily. Something else is going on here that we don't know about."

"Whatever you say." He sang, turning over on his stomach and burying his face into her covers.

She rolled her eyes and hopped off the bed. "Come on, Black, your friend's in despair. We're swooping in for the rescue."

He peered up at her and sighed pointedly. "Maybe we _shouldn't_ meddle this time –"

"Shut up. I wear the pants in this relationship, and I say we're doing this—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, _you_ wear the pants in the relationship?" he repeated in disbelief, sitting up.

She raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips. "Do you have a problem?"

"Please. _I_ definitely wear the pants in the relationship." He scoffed.

She raised her eyebrows at him and he did the same mockingly, then, after a moment, she sighed, "Fine, we're tied. We'll settle this later."

She turned on her heel and started walking towards the door, but then out of nowhere, his voice was in her ear, "Oh, we certainly will."

She smiled, but didn't let him see it, instead elbowing him in the stomach. "Come on, Romeo, let's go play Cupid again."

"Yes, because the last time worked so well."

"Shut up."


	23. Wherever I Go and Whatever I Do

**A/N: Helloooo. :) I've been away for quite a while, I know, and while my life's not exactly all back on track, I'm dealing with the hand I was dealt. :) I just figure writing's supposed to be a form of escapism, so don't worry, I'm not givin' up on this story. I love these characters too much. :D**

** So I welcome you back to my little universe, and thanks for stickin' with me. Happy reading!**

"_Wherever I go, whatever I do, I wonder where I am in my relationship to you – wherever you go, wherever you are_,_ I watch your life play out in pictures from afar . . . wherever you go, oh, wherever you are, I watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar . . ._" – John Mayer

**Wherever I Go and Whatever I Do**

Dorcas and Sirius burst into James' room, ready to do their worst, but instead found him passed out on the bed. He held a picture limply in his hand and some nice Quidditch gear was resting on his nightstand. It was probably Lily's present to him (the other two had gotten theirs earlier this morning as well). They had been prepared to tackle James, hold him down, and threaten to spit on him if he didn't tell them what was wrong, but the prick just _had_ to be asleep.

Sirius and Dorcas gave each other a look. "So much for that plan." Sirius muttered.

Dorcas ignored him and walked forward, softly plucking the photograph from James' hand. It was a captured moment from the train ride back home for Christmas of the two of them laughing their cute little arses off. Dorcas sighed and propped the photo against his lamp, glancing at Sirius to find he was studying the Quidditch gear closely.

"Holy Merlin," he muttered, picking up one of the gloves and rubbing it against his face. "It's so soft!"

"Sirius," Dorcas said wearily, "Could you _please_ –? "

"Kill him . . ." James muttered, his brow furrowed. Sirius and Dorcas shared a wide eyed look. "I'll kill you, Snape . . ."

"That greasy little twat had something to do with this?" Sirius hissed, and Dorcas hushed him.

"You'll wake him." She murmured, leaning closer to James.

"Lily . . . please, I didn't mean it . . ." he mumbled, turning over so his face was in his pillows. He started to talk again, but it was muffled. Dorcas cursed under her breath and looked to Sirius for help, but her boyfriend just shrugged.

"I think Snape is a good enough clue." Sirius growled, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Maybe, but he could've said more. We don't even know where Snape is." She whispered helplessly.

Sirius leaned against the bed post and Dorcas knew by the way he smirked that he had an idea. "He's not just going to leave school though, is he?"

Dorcas frowned. "Well, I suppose not. But Sirius, we need to figure out what's really –"

"What . . . are you guys doing in here?" James muttered as he flopped over onto his back, rubbing his eyes.

Dorcas and Sirius shared yet another frozen, wide eyed glance.

"Just checkin' on you, Prongsie." Sirius said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

James shoved his glasses on and eyed both of them suspiciously. "Look, I'm fine. And _yes_, I do realize what I did with Lily, I know it was stupid, I know –"

"Does this have something to do with Snape?" Sirius cut him off, almost flippantly.

Dorcas shoved him, giving him a tight lipped look. James sat up harshly, looking between them.

"Why the hell would you ask something like that?" he inquired through stiff lips.

"You know, I don't know if it's the fact you're a terrible liar or I know you so well, but that right there made it pretty obvious it does indeed have something to do with Snape." Sirius said simply, shaking his head.

James swallowed thickly. They didn't understand. Sirius and Dorcas shared another one of their many looks that day and Sirius sighed, able to read his best friend like a book.

"Look, James, we'll leave you alone and let you deal with this by yourself for a while – but you're mad if you think we're going to let you two suffer for long."

James didn't meet their eyes, and Dorcas furrowed her brow in concern. It must be really bad, or James wouldn't be this dedicated to pushing them away.

Dorcas put her hand on James' and pressed her lips together, but he didn't even look at her then. "We're here for you, James."

"There's nothing you can do, guys," he murmured, looking to the window. "Just let me handle it."

Sirius sported an annoyed look and mouthed to Dorcas, "Like hell."

Dorcas shook her head and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of their best friend's room. Dorcas' mind tried to put the pieces together, but there was so little they knew and none of it was for sure. It was quite possible that Snape was involved, which made sense, but how or when he even got to James wasn't clear, and it was also obvious that James did not want to break up with Lily. The question was, why was James going through with it? What had Snape threatened him with? And were they actually watching him to make sure he followed through?

Even if they wanted to confront Snape about it, they would have to wait until school started back up in a week. They didn't know what Snape was into nowadays, but Dorcas had a hunch that it had a lot to do with You-Know-Who and she and Sirius were definitely not ready to walk into that.

So now, like so many other times, they'd just have to wait and be there for James in whatever way they could.

**XXX**

The last week of Christmas break went by very fast for Lily. Her family was extremely supportive, in their own unique way. Well, her parents were – in Petunia's case, Lily supposed 'unique' could be translated to pretty much ignoring her completely.

What really cheered Lily up, though, is that the girls came by for a visit the day before they would leave back to school to catch up and whatnot. They'd sleep over and they'd all just leave for the train together in the morning. Alice and Mary had already arrived and Lily had filled them in on what had happened over the break, although she couldn't answer most of their "why's" considering she didn't know the answer to, well, all of them. When Dorcas stumbled not-so-gracefully through the fireplace, Lily honestly probably reacted too eagerly to her arrival.

"Dorcas!" she yelled, and Dorcas yelped in surprise, turning her wide eyes to Lily.

"Lily!" she responded, chuckling.

"How's –" she started urgently, but then stopped, rethinking it. She tried for nonchalant. "_So_ . . . how's, uh, how's . . . Sirius?"

She smirked, setting down her bags. "He's fine. James is holding up, too, Lily. You're so obvious."

Lily sighed and plopped back down on the couch in between Mary and Alice. Mary rubbed her back and Alice grabbed her hand, assuring her, "I guarantee he's going through the same thing, Lils. He's crazy about you, you know that."

"Yeah, something's just going on inside of his idiotic male head that's freaking him out. Probably commitment issues." Mary grumbled, squeezing her shoulder.

Lily pouted and looked to Dorcas, who was still standing and looking way to innocent. She knew something. Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, Dorcas?" she said casually, looking down at her fingernails.

"Yeah?"

"What do you know?" she immediately demanded, looking up at her pointedly.

". . . Nothing."

"Oh, my God, you totally know something! You say _I'm_ obvious!" Lily exclaimed, standing.

"Lily, please –"

"Girls? Is everything alright?" Lily's mum asked from the kitchen.

"Fine, mum!" Lily called, her hard eyes still on Dorcas.

"Well, come get your dinner! I've made enough for all of you!" she announced excitedly, and Lily sighed in aggravation. "It's my special lasagna!"

Lily rolled her eyes, but Dorcas quickly scampered toward the kitchen. "I'm actually really hungry, so I'll just be going." She said in an unnaturally high voice.

Lily glowered at nothing in particular, her arms over her chest, and was oblivious to the looks Mary and Alice shared behind her back before they both continued their comforting gesture s – Mary rubbing her back, Alice grabbing her hand.

"Honey, I'm sure it's nothing that important, Dorcas is probably just . . . nervous about . . . school." Alice attempted to explain, making a face at her lame excuse.

Lily let her arms drop and looked between them. "It's fine – it's perfectly fine. You know why? Because Dorcas will be here all night – and she will crack eventually! Mark my words!"

**XXX**

"Come _on_, Dorcas, _please_!" Lily whined, kicking her legs. She lay on her back on her bed, her head hanging off the side as she begged with her best friend.

Dorcas slapped a hand to her face. "Lily. Will you let it go?" she exclaimed exasperatedly.

"No!" she cried, "I want to know why my boyfriend broke up with me out of _nowhere_!"

"Look, Lily –"

"I mean, things were going so _well_!"

"Lils –"

"He even made this big speech about us having each other was enough for him – I mean, what rubbish!"

"_Lily_ –"

"What am I going to do when school starts? DEAR MERLIN –"

"LILY. EVANS."

Lily snapped her eyes into focus to find all three of them staring at her with wide eyes. There was a moment of silence. She slowly turned over onto her stomach and cleared her throat, playing with a stray thread on her bed spread.

"I'm going to act normal, of course." She mumbled, trying to redeem herself.

"Yes, please, do _not_ act like that." Alice said slowly.

"Yeah, I just had to get it out." She admitted sheepishly.

"It's alright," Dorcas sighed, "Look, Lily, I promise you, I will do everything I can to stop this situation, alright? I just can't tell you, and you have to trust me on this."

Lily studied her friend's stern but sympathetic face for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "I trust you, Dorcas," she said, "But can't you just give me _something_?"

She paused and sighed, nodding. "He loves you, Lily. I know he does." She murmured.

Lily half-smiled and turned her eyes back to the stray thread, her throat constricting.

Alice glanced at Dorcas uncertainly and muttered out of the corner of her mouth, "But you're gonna tell _us_, right?"

"Aw, Alice!"

"Come on!"

"Have some restraint, woman!"

She put her hands up in surrender. "Sheesh, alright! Just checking . . ."


End file.
